.png)
Leaving Behind Nets - St. Therese's Little Way
Today during my Holy Hour (actually it was more like a Holy 40-Minutes) I was contemplating the passage after the miraculous catch of fish when it says that "When they had brought their boats to shore, they left everything and followed him." [Luke 5:11] I was considering what things in my life that Our Lord was asking that I leave behind - maybe less going out to eat, or less reading during Holy Hours (more meditating), or that extra sleep I took this morning, or spending more time studying, etc. Basically, I was scrolling through all the things that I saw myself as less-than-stellar in, and I was contemplating how I could offer those things up - letting go whatever was keeping me from following Jesus in those areas. Obviously, this isn't a bad thing to do, but, in the midst of that thought I found that many of the things I was thinking needed fixing/repenting were centered on time. Time studying, time praying, times going out to eat, time sleeping, etc. And I immediately realized that Our Lord was asking for my time, for my quality time. This - thought I - was a bit harder to offer up. When you give God your time it means you don't leave anything out, it means that every moment is meant to be offered up, left behind, placed in His hands. It means that you can't just "worry" about certain areas of life that you want - or don't want - to work on; instead, you have to take every moment, see it as God's will that you're in such-and-such a situation, and do your best for Him.
When I'm in class - tired, bored, not getting it - that isn't the time to say "Lord, I offer my life up to you." This sounds great, but it doesn't necessarily have practical consequences right then. However, if during that class I realize I'm not giving it my all, I need to immediately say "Lord, I give You this moment, this struggle, this temptation to drift off, this cross" and push myself to focus. When I'm sitting on the computer and feel the temptation to spend a couple minutes on Facebook (or whatever), instead of writing that paper, I should immediately pray: "Lord, save me, I'm sinking!" and give those hours to Him. Hours later, when I've finished what I needed to do and want to check Facebook, that time too I should give to God - allowing Him to sanctify my interactions with others and giving me the grace to spend a correct amount of time online.
Time is one of our most precious possessions, it's the last thing we want to give up, but it is completely a gift from God! As I was considering the challenge of giving it all back to God - each and every little moment - I wondered [ever keeping in mind my own selfish interests...] "what do I get from giving this all to You?" The answer was immediate: "Everything" When we go "all in", placing all our chips - all our time - on the table - into doing God's will, He repays back 100-fold. God goes "all in" along with us, not only making up for our feeble attempts with His grace (grace builds on nature!), but rewarding us with His eternal life, and love, and strength, and grace, and eternity, and victory over sin, and His very self.
Recently - having gone to Lisieux over Christmas break - I have been reading The Story of a Soul by St. Therese of the Child Jesus, and this idea of surrendering all our moments is a big part of her "little way". Often her writings are somewhat trivialized and we think that this strategy for holiness is soft, or easy, or cute, or simplistic. Nope! The "little way" means humbly recognizing that our own efforts are ridiculously tiny, unimportant, even broken, compared to God (hence the "little"), but that despite this, He, in His immense love, still wants us to give those efforts to Him and allow Him to fill those moments - of work, of suffering, of temptations - with His love and grace (that would be the "way"). Certainly, that realization - that Holy Hour when you think that it'd be a good idea to offer every moment up to God (me this afternoon) - is easy, but reality hits pretty quickly once you try to live it out! For example, this evening my voice wasn't very strong - for whatever reason - so choir practice was quite the challenge. Am I willing to stay cheerful, keep trying, and patiently offer up that nth time we repeat a particularly challenging piece of music - seeing it all as God's will and giving it my best go? Another example: my computer died a couple months ago and being the cheapskate that I am, I haven't bought a new one yet. So, when guys come loudly-chatting into the computer room where I'm trying to work with one of the NAC computers, or when the printer jams, again, or when the computer can't seem to handle a few browser tabs open at the same time, or when I'm not getting anywhere on that paper. In that struggle am I willing to surrender the minute, and hour, and afternoon, to God and greet those guys with a smile, fix the printer for everybody else, say a prayer while waiting for the computer to get going, and joyfully keep plugging along on that paper? What about when I feel like I'm coming down with a cold (or worse?) and dread getting up early tomorrow, going to class, and soccer practice? Can I offer those moments up too? Can I offer up the idea of feeling even worse tomorrow? Can I allow Jesus to see my poor fishing abilities, realizing that if I follow Him, He can multiply my catch? Theresa's little way might be succinct and beautiful, but it isn't easy!
Thankfully, and this is the last thing, God offers us the graces we need in order to faithfully follow Him, to offer everything up to Him. He became man to show us the way, to - quite literally - struggle with all the same things that we do (well, maybe not slow computers). When you're struggling, look to Him, ask for His help! He is infinitely generous not only to those saints who successfully did His will, but also to us less-saintly folks down here struggling to even get up in the morning! Trust Him, love Him, and throw yourself into whatever task is at hand for His glory!
