Showing posts with label Ordination. Show all posts

The Diaconate Ordination - Beautiful in many ways, but God's love is more beautiful!

Well, I'm still alive and well here in Rome...  My sincere apologies for not getting anything up here for the longest time!  There has been so many things that I've wanted to blog about, and I've always started a post only to get it half-way done and then never getting it completed.  Here's hoping I can get this one done!  (I may end up doing shorter posts, hoping thereby to be able to actually get them done, rather than attempting some comprehensive, uber-detailed, bazillion-word long recounting of the past 5 weeks...)

I'm in there someplace...
So, today, at long last, was the Diaconate Ordination, during which 43 of the 4th-year men here at the NAC were ordained deacons in St. Peter's Basilica at the Altar of the Chair (far end of the Basilica, beyond the main baldicino).  Let's just put it this way; it was stupendous!  I was privileged enough to be in the choir, which meant that I was pretty close, just off to the left, of the altar.  Being a Tenor II (high-middle section of the male vocal range) meant I also had the coveted seats in the choir stalls (rather than lower and off to the side, where the view wasn't as direct).  Of course, being in that section also meant I was constantly stretching to reach the higher notes in some of the pieces, which wasn't always a problem during the many practices we had running up to the ordination (one of the reasons I've been busy), but after three hours of singing, with the only breaks being during the readings, my vocal cords were tired and my abs were sore (vocal cords because I was singing incorrectly, abs because I was constantly tensing them to give as much support as possible and I guess I haven't done enough crunches lately).  The music though, after my mistakes and cracking-voice was drowned out by the other 40-50 guys in the choir, was spectacular.  As I said, we'd been practicing a lot - and for good reason - we sang like 40 different pieces over the last week or so (there have been several different ceremonies leading up to the ordination).  However, the work, and tiredness, were completely worth it!  We got to sing Cantate Domino, the Festival Alleluia, Biebl's Ave Maria, countless chanted pieces, Dicit Mater Ejus, and many, many, other beautiful pieces! 
St. Peter's is splendid!
And, beyond the music, the ceremony itself was just amazing.  There we were, in St. Peter's Basilica, the largest Christian Church in the world, and the entire distance from the front of the main altar/baldicino, all the way around it, filling all the way to the back of the Basilica was packed with family and friends of the to-be-ordained and then, in the sanctuary, with countless priests, deacons, and bishops.  I don't know the exact numbers, but last year there were 500+ priests in attendance, and I think somebody said there were like 1800 others there as well.  Needless to say, just the location was impressive.  

But, even more amazing than that, was all these young men, on fire with God's love and putting everything on the line for Him.  I am proud to live with them!  Even in the very short time that I've gotten to meet them - most of them I don't even remember there name (yet) - I've seen over and over again that willingness to do His will, in everything, in so many instances.  Inviting us into their rooms to say hello, taking us out to breakfast (at the only American breakfast place in town - I had a bagel, with eggs and bacon, as well as a milk-shake and slice of apple pie, it was great), playing sports, leading prayer, doing Benediction, eating meals together, supporting us in Italian, recommending places to go on trips, being patient with our complete lack of knowledge of the place, just saying hello after Mass each day and totally making us feel welcome.  They are great men, and they are men working, and wanting, to be saints!  It's awesome to see!
The men prostrate after making their promises, before being ordained!

The laying on of hands!
But, even more amazing than that - yep, it's about to get even better - is the work that they are allowing God to do in them.  As I've come to realize over the past couple weeks, especially while on retreat last week, while we have to give life our best efforts - we have to grit our teeth and persevere when the going gets tough, we have to throw ourselves out there and try our hardest in sports, or studies, or friendships, or prayer - even more importantly we need to learn humility and rely on God.  Priesthood isn't about me becoming a great preacher, or an inspirational leader, or a kind pastor, or a smart theologian, it's about me becoming Christ.  And that folks, is something that is way, way beyond my capabilities.  There is no way in 4 years, or in 40 years, I can learn to teach, lead, or love like Christ.  He is the true, the ultimate, the Divine, prophet, king, and priest, and while he continues to call men to follow Him radically as priests, it is only through complete reliance, submission, and openness to Him that a man can be transformed and recreated in Christ's image.  And, in these 43 men, I see alive in front of me men who are willing to lay down their lives, not only in taking up their own crosses, their own weaknesses, their own struggles, but also willing to let Christ's cross guide, change, sanctify, and anchor them.  They are men who have learned to not rely on themselves, to not do it themselves, to not carve their own road, but to rely on Christ, to let Him work through Him, and to follow His call.  

"May God, Who has begun this work in you,
bring it to fulfilment"
Cardinal Wuerl, who ordained the men this morning, noted that the role of deacon is - as recounted in Acts - to have love and generosity of heart towards Christ and His Church.  But, this generosity isn't superficial, or dainty, it's a love that means they are willing to lay down their lives for their friends, for their greatest friend, Jesus Christ.  It is a love that means realizing that God, Who "before you were born, knew you", also knows the best plan for your life, and to have the courage to say a humble "yes" to that plan, even when you aren't quite sure what that yes means.  Those 43 men had the courage to say "yes" this morning.  They were willing to promise to be obedient, to remain celibate, to pray constantly, to, literally, conform their lives to Christ's - who is the model of obedience, celibacy, and prayerfulness - so as to serve Christ Church and His people.  This conformation (is that a word?) only happens, reminded the Cardinal, through the outpouring of the Holy Spirit.  But, that is exactly what ordination is!  As with all the sacraments, they are God working through human actions and worldly stuff to enter the world, to pour out His grace.  Faith tells us that these men are changed forever, marked indelibly, eternally chosen - by God - to be deacons for Christ.  It's a supernatural calling, it's an amazing calling, it's a humbling calling!  

Yeah, so let's just say that this morning was great!  The music, the liturgy, the stupendous cathedral, the superb young men - they all were great (as were the snacks and socializing afterwards), but above and beyond all that (quite literally) was God's wonderful and powerful love.  Let us too, humbly, trustingly, completely, open ourselves up to God!

Yay, a post is complete!  In other news, tomorrow I'll be leaving on a trip to San Giovanni Rotundo (where St. Padre Pio was a friar, and where he is now buried), with a couple of other guys here from dioceses in Illinois.  It should be quite a lot of fun, and hopefully a prayerful trip as well.  And then - drum-roll please - on Monday classes begin at the Gregorian!  It's been a wild ride these last couple months but I think things will finally start to settle down once that all gets going (it will be a new challenge, but something that I think I will enjoy very much as well).  Please do keep me in your prayers - not only that the classes will start well, but also, and more importantly, that I'll learn to truly place myself in God's hands over these next years - and then, God willing, I'll be laying down on that floor in 3 short years giving myself to Him ever more completely!  God is good!
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After the Ordination - Dinners, Volleyball, Candidacy, 1st Masses, Goodbye's - Entrusting Myself to God



Myself, After receiving a 1st blessing from Fr. Arisman
After the ordination on Saturday morning, I helped to “unset” the altar (put away chairs, take the sacred vessels back to the sacristy, etc.) and then divested from my cassock/surplice/collar (thank goodness – I could finally breathe!).  I got back into by suit/tie and went out into the nave of the cathedral and jumped in line to receive a first blessing from Fr. Seth Brown.  As it turned out, mom and dad were just a few people in front of me, so they joined me in the back of the line and I got to fill them in on what I had been up to over the past few days (Alex didn’t make it because he had the flu or something).  We talked a bit with the people around us (I introduced them to some of the other guys who had joined the line behind us) and then got a beautiful blessing from Fr. Seth.  Unfortunately, I don’t remember the words that he used because they were incredibly beautiful – in a simple, excited, loving, concerned way.  We then walked over to the other side of the cathedral and joined Fr. Steve Arisman’s line (which was considerably longer).  It also went pretty quickly, and again his blessing was incredibly touching.  For mom and dad he asked God to continue to bless them, showing in their love the love of the Trinity, and strengthening and enlivening their marriage.  For me he asked God to strengthen my vocation and form me into a good and holy priest.  Obviously, I am missing huge portions of these blessings – but overall there was a certain tenderness and profundity to them that your typical-old-blessing just usually doesn’t have – it was really cool!  After the blessings, we went down into the basement under the cathedral school and had a tasty little luncheon of sandwiches, pasta salad, and cake.  Mom and dad took off after several minutes and I joined the group of Bruté guys, who were hanging out with one of the priests of the diocese.  After another several minutes, with the party starting to disperse, our conversation also ended, and I caught a ride with Dcn. Stone back to the Villa Maria.  [picture of myself with newly ordained Fr. Steve Arisman]

Once back at the villa, pretty much everybody took a quick nap (myself included), and then around 5 PM most of the remaining guys (some had gone home) headed out to celebrate with the individual newly-ordained-priests.  I went to Fr. Seth’s reception/dinner which was at his parish about 45 minutes from the villa.  I rode with Jason again – why take two cars when you’re going the same place? – and we got there just in time for the small celebration.  Matching his personality perfectly, Fr. Seth’s “party” was extremely modest – with just a smattering of seminarians (some Springfield guys as well as friends of Seth’s from other dioceses) and his family and close friends.  Dinner was delicious: pork loin, rolls, salad, baked potatoes, green beans, and cake – and I spent the meal talking with a few of the other Bruté guys as well as some seminarians from Mundelein (from other dioceses).  It was a fun, quite, simple evening!  After the meal I said my congratulations to Fr. Brown again and he courteously asked about my plans for the summer – it was so like him: just quietly listening to my plans for the summer and wishing me luck.  He will make a phenomenal priest! 

Around 7:30 we took leave of Seth’s party, this time with a full car-load (some of the other guys piled into Dcn. Stone’s car to catch a ride over to Fr. Arisman’s party).  As we drove up to the K of C hall about 20 minutes later, I was bemused to hear music blasting.  I chuckled to think of how different Fr. Steve was from Fr. Seth.  As it turned out, the music was out behind the hall (which shared a building with a restaurant), so it wasn’t exactly for the celebration of an ordination, but it was still funny to compare the different between the two parties.  Though I wasn’t hungry at all, I got a small slice of pizza and some beer.  The pizza was great, the beer was, well beer, (it was my second beer since turning 21 and I am not at all used to the taste, so I can’t really stand the flavor yet).  Fr. Steve was wandering around greeting and talking to people and when he got to the Bruté table he quickly roped us into a game of volleyball with some kids who were present.  I wasn’t really feeling a game of volleyball – I had just ate, I was wearing dress pants, shirt, and tie, and I’m not any good at volleyball – but he convinced me (I am trying to push myself outside of my comfort zone and I knew that I’d enjoy it either way), so out we went.  It was a fun little game.  We played like the family plays tennis: if the ball is still moving it’s still in play J, so that made my mistakes less obvious and the game more fun.  However, after about 20 minutes of that we went back inside only to find that the Mundelein guys (from other dioceses) were interested in playing a game.  I was much more reticent to play this game – surely they would be more competitive – but again, I let myself get talked into it…  Again, though, it was a fun game!  I found that I wasn’t as bad as I thought (especially once I got the hang of hitting the ball with my palm, not punching it, and risked my clothing with a few dives to save the ball).  We played three games, had a blast, got all sweaty, and Bruté ended up winning!  We headed back inside, drove back to the villa, and went to bed – it was a long, exciting, blessed, sacred, fun, and awesome day!
The Cathedral before my admission to candidacy
The next morning, unlike everybody else, I woke up early (7 ish), took a shower, got dressed in suit/tie, said matins and lauds, had another tasty breakfast (fruit, cereal, cinnamon rolls, hash-browns, etc.), and then drove myself over to the cathedral for 10 AM Mass.  Most of the other guys weren’t going because they didn’t have to be there (only at the first Masses later that day), but I had to be there because that was the day chosen for me to receive/enter (don’t know the right terminology…) candidacy.  Usually this is a step that guys take once they get into upper seminary, but the NAC requires guys to have it before they arrive, so I was blessed to do it in the Cathedral in front of the bishop!  Candidacy is a further commitment, on the part of the seminarian, to continue his formation towards becoming a priest, and the further acceptance, on the part of the bishop and diocese, to accept and endorse the seminarian.  I had written a letter to the bishop a month before (or so) basically requesting that I be admitted and confirming my intention to continue on towards the priesthood.  It actually is a pretty big deal – about the closest that I’ll come to “signing on the dotted line” before getting ordained a deacon (I think).  Mass was completely typical, if you consider a Sunday Mass celebrated by the bishop at the cathedral typical, except for the simple ceremony after the homily in which I verbally made this commitment.  Dcn. Larry (who was “deaconing” the Mass), said something to the effect of “for the admission to candidacy, may Dominic Joseph Rankin come forward”, with a booming voice and I had to stand up, say “present”, and walk up into the sanctuary (from the first pew where I was attending Mass with mom and dad, who had come for the occasion).  Then the bishop said two questions to me:  “In response to the Lord’s call are you resolved to com­plete your preparation so that in due time you will be ready to be ordained for the ministry of the Church?” and “Are you resolved to prepare yourselves in mind and spirit to give faithful service to Christ the Lord and his body, the Church?” to which I responded “I am”.  It was a simple little moment, but I was actually listening to those questions (duh!) and it kind of hit me in that split second that I was committing myself to something huge.  Seminary, most of the time, is just one day on top of another – classes, serving, praying, eating, having fun, discerning, etc. – and it is all-too-rarely that I think of the immense calling that I am discerning and preparing.  I was so glad to “do” candidacy at the cathedral, but even more than that, I was glad to do it over this weekend where I had just seen Steve and Seth get ordained.  It filled me this excitement – I could be in their shoes in 4 short years! – but it also fills me with apprehension – will I be ready? Will I be capable?  It was the same questions that had shot through my mind the day before, but this time they were even more clear and obvious.  Gosh, the priesthood is an incredible calling, but it is also a supernatural one, I need to rely on God so much more, to love Him so much more, to follow Him so much more closely, and to be so much more dedicated to Him (and less attached to everything else…)  I love to listen to or read great homilies, and I usually am sort of thinking about how I can make my writing/speaking that cool, awesome, compelling, and enthusiastic, but the fact is that that kind of awesomeness and enthusiasm only comes from God.  It’s not that I can’t think of myself as humanly capable – those difficulties (speaking, writing, knowing, serving) can be learned, but if I’m to be a great priest the only way is going to be relying on, and totally loving, God.  Yeah, so I’ve got a lot of work to do, but more importantly, I have to let God do the working...  We also carried up the gifts (haven’t done that in a while), and otherwise Mass continued as usual – but I had a lot of thinking to do.

After Mass, to my surprise, Fr. Alford (now the vocation director if you didn’t already know) and Bishop Paprocki agreed to go out to breakfast with us.  Beforehand, I just invited some of the other “sems” to go out to breakfast, but Dcn. Stone was the only one there (and he had already had a big breakfast), so I just threw it out for the bishop and Fr. Alford, and – surprise! – they agreed.  We went to a nice restaurant inside of a hotel, which was totally empty (fine with me) and had some pretty tasty food.  It was cool to spend an hour or so talking with the bishop – about Rome, about running, other such things…  It was cool!

St. Agnes before Mass
After that mom and dad took off and I drove over to St. Agnes (Fr. Steve’s parish).  Fr. Arisman was going to have his first Mass there at 3 PM, and it was only 1 or so, but the extra time allowed me to scope things out and think about what serving would entail (a month or two ago he asked me to MC for his first Mass).  I was thrilled to be serving, especially as [assistant] MC, but I wasn’t terribly knowledgeable with the ins and outs of a first Mass, especially with the numbers of concelebrants and servers that would be showing up.  Thankfully, another seminarian from Denver (I think?), by the name of Luke had been chosen as head MC, so that took a lot of the pressure off of yours truly!  After saying mid-day prayer, and spending a few moments thanking Our Lord for the wonderful weekend that He had given me, I saw that Luke had arrived and so I went and began to work with him on planning everything out.  As I said, I was extremely thankful that he was there – not only was he more knowledgeable, but he was also much more prepared (he had handouts explaining all the positions, where people would be, which priests would do which part of the Eucharist Prayer, etc.).  We spent probably 30 minutes hashing things out between us and then I was tasked with trying to communicate what I knew with the servers who had arrived.  I kept running up against things that I didn’t know the answer to (when did we need the boat bearer, whether all the servers would fit on the altar, intricacies of the procession, etc.), but I just kept asking around or coming up with answers on the spot, and we got through most of the Mass for most of the guys.  I kind of ran out of time, so in the end I was just hoping that they knew what they were doing (maybe not the best assumption, but it worked out). 

During Mass
Mass was beautiful!  It began with an impressive procession - probably a dozen seminarians and at least 20 priests and deacons, with the (large) choir beginning the Mass with Ave Verum Corpus, Anima Christi, and then Go Up to the Altar of God - all phenomenal hymns.  Basically, everything was done in as awesome a manner as was possible (I was thrilled).  Also, I didn't have too much to worry about at this time (after showing the priests/deacons their places), so I could - for the most part - just sit there and enjoy it.  I did have to worry a bit about the Gospel procession - which could have gone smoother - but Dcn. Stone got to his place eventually, and things worked out in the end.   Fr. House's homily (often at their first Mass a newly ordained priest chooses another priest to give the homily) - about obedience, and how it is a crucial part if every Christian's life (and isn't just submission, but is also our emulation of Christ, and His love - sorry, I was distracted at the time and it has been two weeks since then, so I don't remember the rest of the excellent homily).  For the Liturgy of the Eucharist, I had a few more things to worry about - making sure everything was carried over to the altar, the thurifur was at hand, and guys knew when to make their moves, etc.  They all pretty much knew what was going on (and Luke was keeping a better eye on things than I was), so everything was completed well enough (there was a little bit of a struggle during the Eucharistic Prayer, when I was unable to direct the priests correctly and the candles/thirifur left their places too early, but neither were disasters by any means, and most everything else went along as planned).  Before Mass ended, Fr. Arisman spent a long time thanking all the many people that had helped him throughout his life, and also - in a beautiful ceremony - he gave his maniturgium (the cloth that wrapped his hands after being ordained/anointed) to his mother, his first stole to his father, and also placed a banquet of roses at the altar of Our Lady - consecrating his priesthood to her.  They were all beautiful, profound, moments, and well worth the additional length that they added to the Mass.  Fr. Arisman gave the final blessing and everyone processed out to the triumphant O God, Beyond all Praising.  It was a beautiful - if long and complicated - Mass, and I was humbled and honored to have MC'ed for Fr. Steve.  I was again inspired with enthusiasm for the end-goal which I am aiming towards (priesthood).  Yeah, it was just really, really cool!

After Mass I stuck around for the dinner served to everyone afterwards.  I sat with a bunch of other guys from Brute, and we sat and chatted waiting for the meal to begin (as well as during the meal).  I was glad to be able to catch up with them for a little while, because - for most of us - after that afternoon we would each be heading off to summer jobs/assignments (Totus Tuus, Peru, me: Rome).  Obviously, those are all good things, but - for me at least - it was a hard moment because I don't know when I'll get to see those guys again.  Anyway, it was a fun evening, I said my goodbyes to everybody, and then headed for home.  

I guess it's hard to put into words the awesomeness of the entire weekend.  I obviously had a blast hanging out with all my diocesan brothers, as well as the other seminarians visiting from other dioceses.  I also sincerely enjoyed all the beautiful (and spectacular) Masses that I had the chance to serve at (in positions that put me right in the middle of the "action").  But most of all, I guess, I was truly reinvigorated in discerning my vocation, in putting myself out there for God, in sticking through the (sometimes) hard times.  Gosh, being there when those guys - my friends - were ordained, when they gave their first blessings, when they said their first Mass; it was extraordinary, their joy, their excitement, their enthusiasm - the graces of Holy Orders were evident!  I was not only inspired by them, their commitment, their happiness, but even more by the love and inspiration that was flowing through them.  More and more, in seminary, I have come to realize that it is only through God's help that being a priest is even possible, but over that weekend I saw - I was reminded - that God will provide that grace.  The transformation that I saw in Fr. Seth and Steve is evidence of Our Lord's incredible love for them, and the incredible life that He has called them to.  Yes, for me, things are a bit scary - I don't know how easy it will be to move over to Rome, I don't know if I'll be ready for ordination in (God willing) 4 short years, I don't know if I have what it takes to give myself totally to God, to be obedient (life Fr. House was talking), to make myself prepared to become a priest (as the Bishop asked me), and on and on...  But, that weekend not only made me more enthusiastic and excited about continuing on the path that I am on, it also reminded me of the immensity of God's grace, of the incredible things that happen when you put your life in His hands.  

Yep, life is good!
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Priesthood Ordination - Awesome, Inspiring, Exciting, Incredible!

The Cathedral before practice
On Friday evening – after a quick dinner with the family of tuna-loaf and asparagus – I drove over to the Cathedral in Springfield.  Practice was scheduled to start at 7:45, but I got there a little early (maybe 7:25 or so).  The doors were still locked so I waited around until Mark Tracy (who is in my same ordination class and studies at St. Meinrad) arrived and showed me the side door to the cathedral rectory, which we knocked on and got in.  Other guys showed up over the next few minutes and then we were assigned positions (I was given the job of holding the Roman Missal and Rite of Ordination for the bishop).  We then spent a few minutes setting up chairs in the sanctuary for all the priests and deacons that would be assisting/concelebrating/condeaconing (that last one is made up).  We waited for a little while for both deacons – soon to be ordained – to finish their dinner with the bishop and join us, and then we began the long process of running through the Mass.  Other guys thought that the practice was way too long – and it was long, like 2 and a half hours – but the difficulty was that there were so many different people with different responsibilities that Fr. Alford (the MC, as well as vocation director) had to teach each person almost individually what they would be doing, and so many things had to be repeated and explained for multiple people.  For me, practice wasn’t that hard because I had done book-bearer before (so I knew how to process, where to stand, how to hold the book, etc.)  Thus, all I needed to learn was approximately when I would be moving out to hold the book, about how long I would hold it, and a few other things that I ended up doing (cleaning the bishop’s hands from the chrism, helping to set the altar during the offertory, etc.)  After practice finally finished up, we all went to the Villa Maria, a retreat house owned by the diocese and the place where we usually stay during diocesan events like this.  I was sort of thinking about heading to bed pretty quickly – it was already past 10 at this point and it had been a long day – but when I got to the villa I found that there were a bunch of friends of Steve and Seth – mostly from Mundelein – along with all the guys from the Springfield diocese and so I ended up hanging out, chatting, enjoying some ice cream and apple pie, sharing stories, learning names (well, sort of), and otherwise just having a good time.  Anyway, it was a fun evening/night and I ended up hitting the sack around midnight. 


The chapel at the villa
I woke up the next morning around 6:30 when the sun started shining through the window where myself and a few of the other Bruté guys were sleeping.  I took a quick shower and headed across the building to the chapel – saying the Office of Readings, Morning Prayer, and several other prayers before wandering into the dining room where they had just begun serving breakfast.  A smattering of other guys were up and we all enjoyed a hearty breakfast of biscuits & gravy, fruit, eggs, hash browns, cereal, juice, and cinnamon/blueberry/banana bread (I didn’t have everything, but that was the selection).  After breakfast, I grabbed my cassock and surplice and drove over to the cathedral, arriving around 9 AM.  Mass was scheduled to start at 10:30, so I had plenty of time, but it flew by as we were pressed into service setting up the altar, lighting the candles, figuring out last minute things that we would have to do, etc.  I squeezed into a collar that I borrowed from Braden Maher (a previous graduate from Bruté who is 2 years ahead of me in formation at St. Meinrad).  I was extremely thankful for the collar (because I don’t have one – that will probably wait until I get over to Rome), but it was pretty tight (I guess that’s like the priesthood, it’s always awesome, but some times are harder than others).  About 15 minutes before Mass I went over to the other side of the sacristy (where the bishop was vesting).  I spent a few minutes fiddling with my collar – it didn’t want to stay down, and I wanted to be able to breath – with little success…  Still, I was really glad that I was book-bearer because I was right there watching deacon Seth and Steve getting vested – to be ordained priests in a few minutes – it was an incredible moment!  Both were excited and nervous, though Dcn. Arisman got more talkative as the time approached and Dcn. Seth, less talkative (they have very different personalities).  Finally, the big moment came and we walked around the outside of the cathedral and stood in the back ready to process.  The processional hymn, All Creatures of Our God and King, magnificently thundered from the choir loft and the procession began!  A minute or more later – with the servers, deacons, and some of the priests already having gotten to the sanctuary the bishop finally began to move (that was how epic of a procession it was)!  I was in the very back of the procession, so I got a spectacular view of everybody packing the cathedral watching the procession snake up the center.  Myself, along with the deacons for Mass (recently ordained: Samuel Bagyo, and Adam Prichard), Fr. Alford, and the two vimps (Wayne Stock – a Bruté grad, one year in front of me, now at Mundelein, and Aaron Kuhn – a classmate of mine, at Mundelein) genuflected with the bishop and then we went off to our respective spots (mine was behind and to the left of the bishop).  Mass began with an incensation of the altar – during which I did nothing – and then the Confiteor, Kyrie, Gloria, and Collect.  My job, holding the Roman “action”, but it was also tough on the arms.  The Confiteor and Kyrie weren’t bad, but then my arms started to get tired as I held the book out in front and to the side of me so that the bishop could read it.  My left arm was more extended (because I was holding the book to my left) and to make it worse, since the ordinary parts were at the front of the missal, most of the weight was pushing down on that arm.  I tried not to grin as the trumpets chorused out during the Gloria – it was awesome! – but I was watching the ominous hints that my arms were tiring – mainly the fact that they were starting to tremble – and had to grit my teeth to get through the last bit of the Gloria.  Thankfully, like the collar, I had a good intention for which I was offering up all these physical difficulties: Steve and Seth (soon to be priests)!  Fr. Alford came over and flipped the book to the collect, thankfully taking a bit of pressure off my left arm, but forcing my tired arms to shove a bit harder against the missal, fighting against a losing battle against the force of gravity…  Anyway, I managed to hold the book up for another minute and the mercifully got to close the book, bow, and head back to my seat.  The hardest part was done! 

Fr. Steve Arisman making the promises
The liturgy of the word went by quickly and after Marty Smith (one of our recently ordained deacons) finished proclaiming the gospel the rite of ordination began.  This time I was holding the Rite of Ordination – a smaller book than the missal – and even more awesome was the proximity that I was to the men being ordained.  I was right there, literally a couple of feet from the bishop when the candidates’ names were called out.  Then, after the homily, I was again right there during the promise of the elect when Dcn. Arisman and Brown responded “I do” or “I do with the help of God”: to the bishop’s requests to: “discharge the office of priesthood in the presbyteral rank as worthy fellow workers with the order of bishops”, “exercise the ministry of the Word worthily and wisely, preaching the Gospel and teaching the Catholic faith”, “to celebrate faithfully and reverently the mysteries of Christ handed down by the Church, especially the sacrifice of the Eucharist and the sacrament of Reconciliation, for the glory of god and the sanctification of the Christian people”, “to implore God’s mercy upon the people entrusted to their care by observing the command to pray without ceasing”, and “to be united more closely every day to Christ the High Priest, who offered himself for us to the Father as a pure sacrifice and to consecrate themselves to God for the salvation of all”.  And then, I was right between the bishop and the candidates as they placed their hands within his and promised “respect and obedience” to him and his successors.  I didn’t have to hold the book during the litanies (thank goodness!), but again, I was only a little ways away when the young men prostrated themselves on the floor, begging, I’m sure, Christ’s help in living “in persona Christi”, a totally new life that was now beginning! 

Fr. Seth Brown receiving the chalice/paten
my collar is working its way upwards...
After the litany, the deacons (for only a few more moments) again approached the bishop, who laid hands on each of them, ordaining them priests and marking their souls with the indelible mark of being an alter Christus.  Then, as the Veni, Sancte Spiritus floated through the air, all the other priests present – including one in a wheelchair (touching moment!) – laid their hands on the newly ordained priests.  Then, myself holding the book, the bishop said the prayer of ordination and the new priests were vested in stole and chasuble.  It was an epic moment, and one full of emotion, as Fr. Arisman and Brown stood there in front of the cathedral full of people, now priests of Our Lord!  They were incredibly happy – the moment for which they had been waiting for years had finally come and they would soon be serving as priests in the diocese.  I moved forward again with the book, this time for the consecration of their hands, and again was right there when the bishop crossed their palms with the sacred chrism, anointing them for administering the sacraments, celebrating the sacrifice of the Mass, blessing people, and the other unique faculties of the priest.  Fr. Steve and Seth then moved off to the side and cleaned the chrism from their hands onto a maniturgium.  I couldn’t see exactly what else they did (if anything) because I was helping to clean the bishop’s hands, but the maniturgium has special significance because later (the next day) it would be given to the priest’s mother, a symbol of her giving her son to God as a priest.  Finally, both priests returned to the bishop – myself again kneeling inches away – to receive the chalice/paten/wine/bread from him.  Each one came forward, knelt before the bishop, and, as he said a short prayer, they clasped the chalice (held by the bishop), symbolically receiving the sacred vessels and bread/wine that they would use or offer at future Masses.  It was one of the last parts of the ceremony of ordination, but important because it reiterates the most important part of their priesthood – the Holy Mass, in which the priest acts most like Christ and gives the people Christ’s Body and Blood.  Finally, the bishop embraced the new priests and all the priests again processed across to them and also gave them a kiss of peace.

The liturgy of the Eucharist was much the same as in any other Mass.  I helped to set up the altar – carrying over the Roman Missal and stand, as well as several of the sacred vessels as well as the hosts and wine.  Yeah, there wasn’t anything “special” about the offertory and consecration other than the usual miraculous transubstantiation that transformed the bread and wine into Christ’s Body and Blood…  Actually, I couldn’t see very much because the vimps were blocking my view of the altar (for the most part).  All the servers received Communion from the bishop, who then distributed the Eucharist to the people (along with plenty of priests including Fr. Arisman and Brown).  Communion took a good while because there were so many people there, but it gave me a little bit of time to meditate on the moment – not only the Eucharist that I had just received, but also the vocation that I am discerning and preparing for.  Last year it was really cool to be at the ordination – it was the first priesthood ordination that I attended – this year it was even more awesome because it was starting to hit me that I could – God willing – be in the exact same position in just four short years.  It’s a thought that excites me and that was the thought that sent chills down my spine as I held the book during all those moments of the ordination ceremony, but is also a thought that worries me a little – will I be ready?, will I be capable?  During those moments after Communion I gave myself again to Our Lord, begging Him to make me worthy, ready, capable, holy, strong, joyful, and everything else that I will need to be in order to be a good priest, a good alter Christus. It’s an incredible vocation, one that has blessed me immensely already in my discernment of it, and one that I still feel called to, but that knowledge, that joy, and that confidence aren’t enough.  The call comes from Christ and it is only through Him, and His grace, that I will ever be able to live out that call. 

Bishop Paprocki and Fr. Steve Arisman after Mass
The end of Mass was unique because before the final blessing the bishop received the very first blessings of both Fr. Steve and Fr. Seth, a really cool moment as they each (one after the other) raised their hands and prayed that God’s blessing might come down upon our bishop.  Then the Bishop gave his blessing to them – and everyone else – while I held the Missal one last time (my arms had held up pretty good, so this wasn’t terribly difficult).  Then everyone processed out to the sound of Oh God Beyond all Praising, the entire congregation enthused with the joy of seeing two young men transformed into priests! 

More to come!  Sorry, these posts take a long time to write and I am in the midst of preparing to apply for my visa (tomorrow in Chicago), packing for vacation (Saturday in Washington State), and writing a letter to my sister (ASAP).  Also, most of these pictures were collected from Facebook (obviously I didn't take them).
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The Priesthood - Fr. Hyland Smith's Ordination

Today was the ordination to the sacred priesthood of (now) Fr. Hyland Smith.  As was the case with the deaconate ordination, the seminarians were enlisted to serve for the Mass.

Last evening, after I got off work at 4 PM, I filled up with gas and cruised over to Springfield, where Fr. Chris Brey had graciously invited the seminarians out to dinner.  Needless to say, the pizza was great and the abundance of ice cream afterwards was also greatly appreciated.  After dinner (and a lot of socializing with the other guys), we went over to the cathedral for practice.  I ended up with the position I have previously occupied at other diocesan Masses, book-holder, and it turned out that the procedure was very similar to the deaconate ordination.  I processed in at the back (which is cool because I get to see everybody as they process in), and then I sit off to the side of the bishop's cathedra ready to walk out and hold the Roman Missal or Rite of Ordination for a Priest [which took forever for me to find online...] for the Bishop.

The first time I had to hold the book was at the beginning of Mass (right after the procession and incensation of the Altar), when I held the Roman Missal for the introductory rites (confiteor, kyrie, gloria, and opening prayer).  I had been holding the book for a minute or two before the bishop got back from the incensation, but nothing was hurting too bad, so I was feeling pretty confident as the confiteor started.  However, by the time the kyrie had been chanted my arms were starting to feel the inexorable pull of gravity.  The base of Bishop Paprocki's cathedra is a step higher than the floor of the sanctuary, so I am standing on the floor and he is standing a step higher and he is also a few feet away from me because there is probably two or three feet of raised platform between his seat and the edge of this step.  This all means that I am several feet away from the bishop and on top of that I am several inches lower than him (due to both the step and my, um, exceptional, height) - anyway, enough with the excuses, holding the Roman Missal through that Gloria was tough.  I guess the Bishop has good eyesight because I think the book was shaking a bit during the end of the gloria and the opening prayer)  Don't get me wrong, I love the position of book-holder, I am in like the best spot to see what is going on, but it still gets tough at times...  

The next thing that I had to do was hold the rite of ordination for the, you know, ordination.  This book is probably half as thick as the Roman Missal, but I had to hold it longer, so my arms still ended up shaking a bit.  First, was the calling forward of Deacon Hyland - The Bishop asks if the people consider him worthy, which they did, and then he came forward and made the promise of obedience to the Bishop.  It was so cool, because I was right there when he put his hands inside the Bishop's and said "I do", and I was a few feet away when Deacon Hyland lay prostrate on the floor during the litany, and I was a few steps back when the Bishop did the laying on of hands and ordained him a priest...  It was so cool to be right there during all of it - yeah, my arms were hurting, and there was that nagging thought of how to hold up the book any longer, but it was definitely worth it.  OK, so there is the super-quick low-down of the Mass.  I could go into detail on how everything happened, but we are in the midst of packing for vacation and, since I haven't been here the last 2 days, I probably should pitch in a bit.

 Last, but not least, a brief look at something pretty cool.  On the brief bio that the diocese has for Fr. Hyland  Smith he notes that his favorite scripture verse is John 21:18-22.  
Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were young, you used to dress yourself and walk wherever you wanted, but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will dress you and carry you where you do not want to go.” (This he said to show by what kind of death he was to glorify God.) And after saying this he said to him, “Follow me.”  Peter turned and saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following them, the one who also had leaned back against him during the supper and had said, “Lord, who is it that is going to betray you?”21 When Peter saw him, he said to Jesus, “Lord, what about this man?”  Jesus said to him, “If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!”
Fr. Hyland explains it pretty well: (I quote):
"Peter is troubled by Christ's prophecy of Peter's future martyrdom, and Peter tries to deflect his fate by focusing on another. Jesus says to him, "What is that to you? Follow me!" Too often I look at others rather than my own walk with Christ. Before I left for seminary the Holy Spirit showed me this verse, which reminds me that the only important thing I must do is follow Christ."
On the way up to the ordination I was listening to Catholic Answers, and one of the people who was talking mentioned Nguyễn Văn Thuận, a Bishop who was held for years in solitary confinement in Vietnam (and who's cause has been opened for sainthood), and how he had big plans when assigned to his episcopate, but the country fell into communism and he was immediately imprisoned.  This bishop later wrote down how he gradually grew to understand that it was more important to love Jesus himself rather than working for Jesus.  

"I am happy here, in this cell, where white mushrooms are growing on my sleeping mat, because You are here with me, because You want me to live here with You. I have spoken much in my lifetime: now I speak no more. It's Your turn to speak to me, Jesus; I am listening to You"
So often we forget that the foundation for anything and everything we do must be in love of Our Lord.  That has to be where we start.  Fr. Hyland and this saintly bishop both emphasize following Christ above everything.  Even when our plans don't happen, or Christ asks us go "where we do not want to go", that is precisely when love for Him must "trump" everything else.  That is exactly what the promises that the to-be priest makes require.  (and I'll quote them here because they are just too cool).  
  • Do you resolve, with the help of the Holy Spirit, to discharge without fail the Office of Priesthood in the presbyteral rank, as a worthy fellow worker with the Order of Bishops in caring for the Lord’s flock?
  • Do you resolve to exercise the ministry of the word worthily and wisely, preaching the Gospel and teaching the Catholic faith?
  • Do you resolve to celebrate faithfully and reverently, in accord with the Church’s tradition, the mysteries of Christ, especially the sacrifice of the Eucharist and the Sacrament of Reconciliation, for the glory of God and the sanctification of the Christian people?
  • Do you resolve to implore with us God’s mercy upon the people entrusted to your care by observing the command to pray without ceasing?
  • Do you resolve to be united more closely every day to Christ the High Priest, who offered Himself for us to the Father as a pure sacrifice, and with Him to consecrate yourself to God for the salvation of all?
  • Do you promise respect and obedience to me and my successors?
Gosh, the vocation of priesthood is so awesome (in both the sense that it inspires awe and it is really cool).  It is so scary to think that I could be called to that life - to living as Christ for the people...  To discharge without fail the Office of Priesthood, to exercise the ministry of the word worthily and wisely, to celebrate faithfully and reverently, to pray without ceasing, be united with Christ, the pure sacrifice, and consecrate yourself to God for the salvation of all, to promise respect and obedience to the successor of the Apostles. Yeah, awesome but scary...  And, guess what, the only way that any man will be able to live up to these supernatural standards is by totally, radically, completely, utterly, etc. loving Jesus Christ.  Please pray for Fr. Hyland Smith, as he begins a totally new life, and all of us seminarians as we discern if that same life is what we're called to.  Good thing grace is there!

Final note - Fr. Hyland chose "Tota vita mea Iesu Christo" as his priestly "motto" (it's on the card I got at his first blessing...).  My translation: "My entire life to Jesus Christ"  And that pretty much sums up being a priest...  (easy right?)

Please keep in mind that my Latin translation may not be terribly perfect, and also keep those prayers coming!
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