Showing posts with label Seminary. Show all posts

After the Ordination - Dinners, Volleyball, Candidacy, 1st Masses, Goodbye's - Entrusting Myself to God



Myself, After receiving a 1st blessing from Fr. Arisman
After the ordination on Saturday morning, I helped to “unset” the altar (put away chairs, take the sacred vessels back to the sacristy, etc.) and then divested from my cassock/surplice/collar (thank goodness – I could finally breathe!).  I got back into by suit/tie and went out into the nave of the cathedral and jumped in line to receive a first blessing from Fr. Seth Brown.  As it turned out, mom and dad were just a few people in front of me, so they joined me in the back of the line and I got to fill them in on what I had been up to over the past few days (Alex didn’t make it because he had the flu or something).  We talked a bit with the people around us (I introduced them to some of the other guys who had joined the line behind us) and then got a beautiful blessing from Fr. Seth.  Unfortunately, I don’t remember the words that he used because they were incredibly beautiful – in a simple, excited, loving, concerned way.  We then walked over to the other side of the cathedral and joined Fr. Steve Arisman’s line (which was considerably longer).  It also went pretty quickly, and again his blessing was incredibly touching.  For mom and dad he asked God to continue to bless them, showing in their love the love of the Trinity, and strengthening and enlivening their marriage.  For me he asked God to strengthen my vocation and form me into a good and holy priest.  Obviously, I am missing huge portions of these blessings – but overall there was a certain tenderness and profundity to them that your typical-old-blessing just usually doesn’t have – it was really cool!  After the blessings, we went down into the basement under the cathedral school and had a tasty little luncheon of sandwiches, pasta salad, and cake.  Mom and dad took off after several minutes and I joined the group of Bruté guys, who were hanging out with one of the priests of the diocese.  After another several minutes, with the party starting to disperse, our conversation also ended, and I caught a ride with Dcn. Stone back to the Villa Maria.  [picture of myself with newly ordained Fr. Steve Arisman]

Once back at the villa, pretty much everybody took a quick nap (myself included), and then around 5 PM most of the remaining guys (some had gone home) headed out to celebrate with the individual newly-ordained-priests.  I went to Fr. Seth’s reception/dinner which was at his parish about 45 minutes from the villa.  I rode with Jason again – why take two cars when you’re going the same place? – and we got there just in time for the small celebration.  Matching his personality perfectly, Fr. Seth’s “party” was extremely modest – with just a smattering of seminarians (some Springfield guys as well as friends of Seth’s from other dioceses) and his family and close friends.  Dinner was delicious: pork loin, rolls, salad, baked potatoes, green beans, and cake – and I spent the meal talking with a few of the other Bruté guys as well as some seminarians from Mundelein (from other dioceses).  It was a fun, quite, simple evening!  After the meal I said my congratulations to Fr. Brown again and he courteously asked about my plans for the summer – it was so like him: just quietly listening to my plans for the summer and wishing me luck.  He will make a phenomenal priest! 

Around 7:30 we took leave of Seth’s party, this time with a full car-load (some of the other guys piled into Dcn. Stone’s car to catch a ride over to Fr. Arisman’s party).  As we drove up to the K of C hall about 20 minutes later, I was bemused to hear music blasting.  I chuckled to think of how different Fr. Steve was from Fr. Seth.  As it turned out, the music was out behind the hall (which shared a building with a restaurant), so it wasn’t exactly for the celebration of an ordination, but it was still funny to compare the different between the two parties.  Though I wasn’t hungry at all, I got a small slice of pizza and some beer.  The pizza was great, the beer was, well beer, (it was my second beer since turning 21 and I am not at all used to the taste, so I can’t really stand the flavor yet).  Fr. Steve was wandering around greeting and talking to people and when he got to the Bruté table he quickly roped us into a game of volleyball with some kids who were present.  I wasn’t really feeling a game of volleyball – I had just ate, I was wearing dress pants, shirt, and tie, and I’m not any good at volleyball – but he convinced me (I am trying to push myself outside of my comfort zone and I knew that I’d enjoy it either way), so out we went.  It was a fun little game.  We played like the family plays tennis: if the ball is still moving it’s still in play J, so that made my mistakes less obvious and the game more fun.  However, after about 20 minutes of that we went back inside only to find that the Mundelein guys (from other dioceses) were interested in playing a game.  I was much more reticent to play this game – surely they would be more competitive – but again, I let myself get talked into it…  Again, though, it was a fun game!  I found that I wasn’t as bad as I thought (especially once I got the hang of hitting the ball with my palm, not punching it, and risked my clothing with a few dives to save the ball).  We played three games, had a blast, got all sweaty, and Bruté ended up winning!  We headed back inside, drove back to the villa, and went to bed – it was a long, exciting, blessed, sacred, fun, and awesome day!
The Cathedral before my admission to candidacy
The next morning, unlike everybody else, I woke up early (7 ish), took a shower, got dressed in suit/tie, said matins and lauds, had another tasty breakfast (fruit, cereal, cinnamon rolls, hash-browns, etc.), and then drove myself over to the cathedral for 10 AM Mass.  Most of the other guys weren’t going because they didn’t have to be there (only at the first Masses later that day), but I had to be there because that was the day chosen for me to receive/enter (don’t know the right terminology…) candidacy.  Usually this is a step that guys take once they get into upper seminary, but the NAC requires guys to have it before they arrive, so I was blessed to do it in the Cathedral in front of the bishop!  Candidacy is a further commitment, on the part of the seminarian, to continue his formation towards becoming a priest, and the further acceptance, on the part of the bishop and diocese, to accept and endorse the seminarian.  I had written a letter to the bishop a month before (or so) basically requesting that I be admitted and confirming my intention to continue on towards the priesthood.  It actually is a pretty big deal – about the closest that I’ll come to “signing on the dotted line” before getting ordained a deacon (I think).  Mass was completely typical, if you consider a Sunday Mass celebrated by the bishop at the cathedral typical, except for the simple ceremony after the homily in which I verbally made this commitment.  Dcn. Larry (who was “deaconing” the Mass), said something to the effect of “for the admission to candidacy, may Dominic Joseph Rankin come forward”, with a booming voice and I had to stand up, say “present”, and walk up into the sanctuary (from the first pew where I was attending Mass with mom and dad, who had come for the occasion).  Then the bishop said two questions to me:  “In response to the Lord’s call are you resolved to com­plete your preparation so that in due time you will be ready to be ordained for the ministry of the Church?” and “Are you resolved to prepare yourselves in mind and spirit to give faithful service to Christ the Lord and his body, the Church?” to which I responded “I am”.  It was a simple little moment, but I was actually listening to those questions (duh!) and it kind of hit me in that split second that I was committing myself to something huge.  Seminary, most of the time, is just one day on top of another – classes, serving, praying, eating, having fun, discerning, etc. – and it is all-too-rarely that I think of the immense calling that I am discerning and preparing.  I was so glad to “do” candidacy at the cathedral, but even more than that, I was glad to do it over this weekend where I had just seen Steve and Seth get ordained.  It filled me this excitement – I could be in their shoes in 4 short years! – but it also fills me with apprehension – will I be ready? Will I be capable?  It was the same questions that had shot through my mind the day before, but this time they were even more clear and obvious.  Gosh, the priesthood is an incredible calling, but it is also a supernatural one, I need to rely on God so much more, to love Him so much more, to follow Him so much more closely, and to be so much more dedicated to Him (and less attached to everything else…)  I love to listen to or read great homilies, and I usually am sort of thinking about how I can make my writing/speaking that cool, awesome, compelling, and enthusiastic, but the fact is that that kind of awesomeness and enthusiasm only comes from God.  It’s not that I can’t think of myself as humanly capable – those difficulties (speaking, writing, knowing, serving) can be learned, but if I’m to be a great priest the only way is going to be relying on, and totally loving, God.  Yeah, so I’ve got a lot of work to do, but more importantly, I have to let God do the working...  We also carried up the gifts (haven’t done that in a while), and otherwise Mass continued as usual – but I had a lot of thinking to do.

After Mass, to my surprise, Fr. Alford (now the vocation director if you didn’t already know) and Bishop Paprocki agreed to go out to breakfast with us.  Beforehand, I just invited some of the other “sems” to go out to breakfast, but Dcn. Stone was the only one there (and he had already had a big breakfast), so I just threw it out for the bishop and Fr. Alford, and – surprise! – they agreed.  We went to a nice restaurant inside of a hotel, which was totally empty (fine with me) and had some pretty tasty food.  It was cool to spend an hour or so talking with the bishop – about Rome, about running, other such things…  It was cool!

St. Agnes before Mass
After that mom and dad took off and I drove over to St. Agnes (Fr. Steve’s parish).  Fr. Arisman was going to have his first Mass there at 3 PM, and it was only 1 or so, but the extra time allowed me to scope things out and think about what serving would entail (a month or two ago he asked me to MC for his first Mass).  I was thrilled to be serving, especially as [assistant] MC, but I wasn’t terribly knowledgeable with the ins and outs of a first Mass, especially with the numbers of concelebrants and servers that would be showing up.  Thankfully, another seminarian from Denver (I think?), by the name of Luke had been chosen as head MC, so that took a lot of the pressure off of yours truly!  After saying mid-day prayer, and spending a few moments thanking Our Lord for the wonderful weekend that He had given me, I saw that Luke had arrived and so I went and began to work with him on planning everything out.  As I said, I was extremely thankful that he was there – not only was he more knowledgeable, but he was also much more prepared (he had handouts explaining all the positions, where people would be, which priests would do which part of the Eucharist Prayer, etc.).  We spent probably 30 minutes hashing things out between us and then I was tasked with trying to communicate what I knew with the servers who had arrived.  I kept running up against things that I didn’t know the answer to (when did we need the boat bearer, whether all the servers would fit on the altar, intricacies of the procession, etc.), but I just kept asking around or coming up with answers on the spot, and we got through most of the Mass for most of the guys.  I kind of ran out of time, so in the end I was just hoping that they knew what they were doing (maybe not the best assumption, but it worked out). 

During Mass
Mass was beautiful!  It began with an impressive procession - probably a dozen seminarians and at least 20 priests and deacons, with the (large) choir beginning the Mass with Ave Verum Corpus, Anima Christi, and then Go Up to the Altar of God - all phenomenal hymns.  Basically, everything was done in as awesome a manner as was possible (I was thrilled).  Also, I didn't have too much to worry about at this time (after showing the priests/deacons their places), so I could - for the most part - just sit there and enjoy it.  I did have to worry a bit about the Gospel procession - which could have gone smoother - but Dcn. Stone got to his place eventually, and things worked out in the end.   Fr. House's homily (often at their first Mass a newly ordained priest chooses another priest to give the homily) - about obedience, and how it is a crucial part if every Christian's life (and isn't just submission, but is also our emulation of Christ, and His love - sorry, I was distracted at the time and it has been two weeks since then, so I don't remember the rest of the excellent homily).  For the Liturgy of the Eucharist, I had a few more things to worry about - making sure everything was carried over to the altar, the thurifur was at hand, and guys knew when to make their moves, etc.  They all pretty much knew what was going on (and Luke was keeping a better eye on things than I was), so everything was completed well enough (there was a little bit of a struggle during the Eucharistic Prayer, when I was unable to direct the priests correctly and the candles/thirifur left their places too early, but neither were disasters by any means, and most everything else went along as planned).  Before Mass ended, Fr. Arisman spent a long time thanking all the many people that had helped him throughout his life, and also - in a beautiful ceremony - he gave his maniturgium (the cloth that wrapped his hands after being ordained/anointed) to his mother, his first stole to his father, and also placed a banquet of roses at the altar of Our Lady - consecrating his priesthood to her.  They were all beautiful, profound, moments, and well worth the additional length that they added to the Mass.  Fr. Arisman gave the final blessing and everyone processed out to the triumphant O God, Beyond all Praising.  It was a beautiful - if long and complicated - Mass, and I was humbled and honored to have MC'ed for Fr. Steve.  I was again inspired with enthusiasm for the end-goal which I am aiming towards (priesthood).  Yeah, it was just really, really cool!

After Mass I stuck around for the dinner served to everyone afterwards.  I sat with a bunch of other guys from Brute, and we sat and chatted waiting for the meal to begin (as well as during the meal).  I was glad to be able to catch up with them for a little while, because - for most of us - after that afternoon we would each be heading off to summer jobs/assignments (Totus Tuus, Peru, me: Rome).  Obviously, those are all good things, but - for me at least - it was a hard moment because I don't know when I'll get to see those guys again.  Anyway, it was a fun evening, I said my goodbyes to everybody, and then headed for home.  

I guess it's hard to put into words the awesomeness of the entire weekend.  I obviously had a blast hanging out with all my diocesan brothers, as well as the other seminarians visiting from other dioceses.  I also sincerely enjoyed all the beautiful (and spectacular) Masses that I had the chance to serve at (in positions that put me right in the middle of the "action").  But most of all, I guess, I was truly reinvigorated in discerning my vocation, in putting myself out there for God, in sticking through the (sometimes) hard times.  Gosh, being there when those guys - my friends - were ordained, when they gave their first blessings, when they said their first Mass; it was extraordinary, their joy, their excitement, their enthusiasm - the graces of Holy Orders were evident!  I was not only inspired by them, their commitment, their happiness, but even more by the love and inspiration that was flowing through them.  More and more, in seminary, I have come to realize that it is only through God's help that being a priest is even possible, but over that weekend I saw - I was reminded - that God will provide that grace.  The transformation that I saw in Fr. Seth and Steve is evidence of Our Lord's incredible love for them, and the incredible life that He has called them to.  Yes, for me, things are a bit scary - I don't know how easy it will be to move over to Rome, I don't know if I'll be ready for ordination in (God willing) 4 short years, I don't know if I have what it takes to give myself totally to God, to be obedient (life Fr. House was talking), to make myself prepared to become a priest (as the Bishop asked me), and on and on...  But, that weekend not only made me more enthusiastic and excited about continuing on the path that I am on, it also reminded me of the immensity of God's grace, of the incredible things that happen when you put your life in His hands.  

Yep, life is good!
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Good Friday - It's Not About Me

Thank goodness that we celebrate Easter for an entire week (actually 8 days!) because I have been extremely busy for the last week, and I haven't had the chance to say anything about the most important solemnity of the year.  Happy Easter!  He is Risen!  Continuing my previous thought though, you know what, being busy is OK.  Obviously, I'd like to have been able to have some more free time and be able to write some more posts (and do other things), but I have slowly come to realize over this Easter that my life absolutely has to be about God, and what He wants me to do, not what I want to do.  I'm hoping to churn out a few posts over the next several days all encompassing (or at least relating back to) this all-important point because over everything else that has been going on it is this idea that keeps hitting me.  I guess I have some work to do!  

Alright, first story: being a subdeacon...  After finishing up my classes on Holy Thursday, I endured the long drive home and made it back in time to go to the Mass of the Lord's Supper that evening.  As I have mentioned in the past, we (the family) attend Mass at St. Rose, which is staffed by the F.S.S.P. and has Mass in the Extraordinary Form.  Anyway, I ended up helping out at the end of Mass when they transferred the Eucharist to the reserve Tabernacle and needed a thurifur (interesting fact: it's harder than you think to spin around, incense the Blessed Sacrament, and then continue walking forward without tripping or running into the priest).  

That evening, knowing at this point that I was going to have to be subdeacon for the rest of the Easter Triduum (and not really wanting to), I spent a lot of time praying that God's Will be done and that I'd have the strength and courage to do it.   (Another thing that I learned: don't think that by kneeling the entire 3 hours on Holy Thursday night impresses anybody, but yeah, it does hurt the knees, and thighs, and back...)  Back onto topic: I really wasn't scared of what I would have to do for subdeacon - that sort of thing you can learn in practice - but I was very uncomfortable stepping into that role.  It turned out to be a good - though long - evening of prayer; I had some quality time to think about things, offer them up, and realize that my doing subdeacon was a small way to become a bit more like Christ, especially as we were in the midst of recalling His Passion.  I mean, there I am - trying to spend some time in prayer, as Jesus asked His disciples to do - and it's really hard to complain to Him about being subdeacon when He accepted from God a much, much, harder task.

On Good Friday morning I went for a short run (we are back in the swing of training for a mini-marathon) before myself and my brother headed over to church to do some training for the liturgy that would take place that afternoon.  We returned home after the hour-long practice and found that one set of cousins/aunt/uncle had arrived.  It was one of those things, I wasn't looking forward to the whole subdeacon thing, but I always enjoy hanging out with my extended family immensely, so that took my mind off the whole thing.  We attended Stations of the Cross at noon, followed by a small collation (don't get to use that word too often...) of PB&J's and apples.  3 PM eventually did roll around though, and so back to church I went, feeling at peace with the whole thing but still kind of wishing that I didn't have to.   We (Father, the deacon, and myself) vested in albs/cinctures, with amice and biretta (the first time I had worn either of those) and out we went - them, probably meditating on Christ's passion, me, on the "outfit" I was wearing.  However, my selfish focus wore off pretty quickly when the liturgy began with us prostrating ourselves for a minute on the marble floor of the sanctuary; it was a cold, hard, reminder that His will is more important than mine!  There were a set of prayers/readings that were chanted (during which I didn't have to do much of anything) and then the Passion was chanted (again, I was just standing there).  Next we had the veneration of the cross.  My part was simple: stand next to Father and help him slowly unveil the (large and heavy) crucifix.  It wasn't perfect (I missed one of my genuflections), but nothing went up in flames, or broke, or was invalid, so that's alright.  Then we took off our shoes and walked up to venerate the cross (now supported by two servers) - again reminding me that it has to be about Him, about His will, about loving God and giving yourself entirely to His Will (not about my qualms about wearing a biretta, acting as subdeacon, and everything else)...  The last part of the liturgy went quickly - there was just the distribution of Holy Communion, a few more prayers/readings, and then the procession out, but it was the most uncomfortable and difficult moment for me because this was when I had to put on a tunicle (which looks really similar to the dalmatic which a deacon wears).  As I mentioned before, canonically it's fine for a layman to fill the position of subdeacon (in case of necessity), but I sure didn't feel ready to do so.  Anyway, I put it on, we finished up the liturgy, and that was that.  It wasn't quite as bad as I thought, and the world didn't end when I put it on, but what struck me was how heavy it was.  It wasn't like unbearably weighty, just dense.  It's hard to explain, but I couldn't really forget that it was there, it felt like that lead vest they put over you when you have dental x-rays (I've had plenty of practice with those), but of course, in the liturgy celebrating Good Friday, it had a lot more meaning.  It reminded me (again) that my job in life is to discern, and do, the will of God.  Sometimes that will be enjoying the company of people you love, sometimes that will be struggling to stay awake when squinting for 5 hours, sometimes that will be staying up till midnight praying, and sometimes that will be doing something you don't want to do, stepping outside of your comfort zone, (literally) picking up that cross, or yoke, or tunicle.  

After the liturgy we spent a few minutes talking with other people in the parking lot and many were excited that I got to do subdeacon.  I was certainly less enthusiastic than they were (probably need to work on being more positive), but one person said something to the extent that "I bet that made you think about your vocation didn't it?"  And it did!  Being in that position, and not really wanting to be there, made me think about the call to priesthood.  I don't want to keep using the same phrase, but priesthood is not about me.  It's about giving myself completely to God, and to bringing souls to Heaven for Christ.  It's not like as soon as I'm ordained everything will become comfortable and I'll love doing everything.  Sometimes I am going to have to step into tough situations, do things for people that I don't want to do, or just put myself out there in some way.  

Sorry, this will have to be continued...  It's now midnight and Mass will come early tomorrow.  Gosh, I am so sorry to not have gotten out any posts the last week, but after a few tests, and quizzes, and presentations, and miscellaneous assignments, and going out to eat, and training for the mini-marathon, and practicing for schola, oh, and praying, and reading, and studying - and I just didn't have any time.  Again, I really, really hope to get more written this week (especially since I haven't finished even this whole story, much less all the other ones that tie into it, much less the entire realization of learning to follow Christ more fully...)  My plan is to pump out shorter posts, more often - hopefully that way I'll actually be able to get some completed throughout the last week of classes and finals week.  Hope springs eternal!  

Seriously though, I hope that all of you had an amazing, blessed, truly joyful Easter!  Happy Divine Mercy Sunday!  Pope Saint John Paul II and Pope Saint John XXIII pray for us!
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Faith - it's tough, but it transform our lives (video)

This is a fantastic talk on faith, how it is necessary, how it is only from God, how it isn't always easy.  Actually, I met Fr. Romke when he was a seminarian 5 years ago or so - great guy!  The year of faith has finished, but growing in faith is a constant process.  Keep praying for faith!  Enjoy!  The talk is about 20 minutes long, but worth every minute. 
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Preliminary Thoughts on my Classes

OK, well it has been a few days, but, as always, I have been busy.  That said, it's about time that I said something about the classes that I am taking this semester.  On Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I have 4 classes, and on Tuesday and Thursday I have 2 classes - combining to a total of 18 credit hours.

MWF - 9:00 AM - PHL 490 - Senior Philosophy Seminar
MWF - 10:00 AM - THL 216 - Moral Issues
MWF - 11:00 AM - PSY 220 - Human Growth and Development
MWF - 1:00 PM - MAT 215 - Fundamentals and Special Applications of Calculus
TR - 9:30 AM - PHL 205 - Augustine and Aquinas
TR - 2:00 PM - PHL 330 - Philosophy of Being (Metaphysics)

I (so far) really like my schedule this year.  MWF is tight, boom, boom, boom, and the day is done, and TR has tons of time where I can actually get work done for class (or whatever).  Both setups are great for getting stuff done, and I think that for the most part I will have a good ratio of breaks and classes (I guess it would be bad if I have a bunch of hard assignments line up on a certain Friday...).

Now, of course, there is also the issue of the quality of the classes, and as far as I can tell, in that area everything is fantastic.  All three philosophy classes are taught by great professors, who know their stuff and are passionate about it, the theology class is taught by a solid Catholic (yay!), and the calculus and psychology classes also seem to have knowledgeable teachers.  We will see, but I am genuinely excited for pretty much all of my classes.  Now, this doesn't mean that my semester will be easy.  Along with the relatively packed schedule, all the classes will be challenging.  All three philosophy classes will require 10+ page papers, I haven't touched math in almost 3 years, the psychology class has a relatively tough collaborative project (and it's psychology), and the theology class... Well, I don't know if it will be hard yet or not - we will see.  I can't wait to learn about all the stuff, philosophy will be intriguing, theology will be fun, calculus will be cool, and psychology will be...  Yeah, don't know yet on that one either.

Overall - I am pumped about my classes this semester.  I have a good schedule, all the classes should be interesting (but tough).  Fun times!  See the good folks - dwelling on the bad won't get you anywhere.  I was dwelling on all the negatives of this semester for the last few days until I remembered that the entire thing was in God's hands. There are so many positives if you just look for them!

On another note, schola has gotten off to a good start.  I have been moved to the roll of base, something that I was petrified of until we practiced today and I found that I could hit all the notes...  We'll see, but I think the song we are currently practicing will turn out beautifully.  Seminary is awesome folks!
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Almost Moved In

I safely arrived at Brute, and after a few hours of work have gotten everything sort of put away.  We will see if the room stays like this, but it is much bigger and has A/C than my room last semester.  I've met some of the new guys; and forgotten almost all of their names...  Mass is at 6 PM, and I'm reading, so that's all for now.  I don't know what is happening for the rest of the weekend.  I'd guess tomorrow is orientation type stuff.  We'll see!


from inside the room - lots of room!
from the hallway looking in - note the stuff still piled on my chair...
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A Quick Update

Well, this will be brief because I want to get to bed, but basically, I have finished 95% of packing and what-not and should be able to throw it all in the car tomorrow morning.  I have to be to Brute before 4 PM, so I'll be leaving Quincy before 10 AM.  It has been a wonderful summer, and I hate to see it end, but at the same time I am looking forward to a new semester and the challenges, fun, and growth that it will bring.  

Please keep myself and the other 40 some-odd guys that will be at Brute this year in your prayers. 

Thanks for reading my blog, and the prayers!

St. Maximilian Kolbe - Pray for us, that we may be willing to give ourselves totally to God and our neighbors.  Amen
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