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To all the guys at Brute - Thank You!

During finals week - wow, that was only like 2 weeks ago (it feels like so much longer) - owe had the annual baccalaureate Mass on campus at Marian.  This Mass, though open to anybody, was meant as a final ceremony honoring and celebrating the soon-to-graduate class of 2014.  The chapel was packed with seniors and their families and for the first time that I've seen, I struggled to find a seat at a Mass at Marian (which is really cool).  Mass was pretty typical for Marian - with the music that we all like to complain about, but wasn't actually all that bad - and it included a procession of graduates in at the beginning and (for lack of better words) a flower giving ceremony at the end.  Basically, before the priests and servers processed out they asked all the seniors to come up and receive 3 carnations, which they would then give to 3 people who had had a big impact on their college career, a good friend, or a positive influence - you know, somebody who was important in some way to their lives.  

The first one I gave to Fr. Bob immediately following Mass and the second one I gave to my parents when they arrived the next day.  Both were obvious recipients for my flowers - my parents brought me up in the faith, supported my vocation all along, loved me beyond belief, and in every way are the best of parents (THANKS MOM & DAD), and Fr. Bob has had a tremendous impact on my life these past 2 years, not only as a formator but also as an example of a loving, humble priest and a man who has dedicated his life to serving Christ (THANKS FATHER).  Now, of course, I had one flower left, and it took me a while to decide what to do with it.  There were certainly plenty of candidates - teachers who managed to get all that philosophy into my head, another one of the priests at Brute, my academic adviser, another one of the guys... - in the end though I didn't give it to any of those people (worthy though they were).  Instead, I gave it to all the guys at Brute.


Of course, most of them were gone by the end of finals week (when I got the flower), so I left it on the mantle place and took a picture of it.  And then, predictably, I forgot to write this post until now (leaving anybody who saw the pink carnation at Brute still bewildered and everybody who didn't see it oblivious).  Well, here's the post to rectify that situation!  I want to send a big THANK YOU to all the seminarians at Brute during my time there.  You guys were (and are) fantastic!  I enjoyed every minute of my time with you - from your enthusiastic welcomes as I first wheeled my stuff into the "castle", to the many dinners out at different restaurants (American, Chinese, Italian, Mexican, Indian, Greek - you name it, we tried it), to the fun lake-side parties, campfires, bbq's, and community dinners, to the movies we watched together (and which you opened my eyes to - for better or worse), to the ice-skating, football, basketball, soccer, racquetball, dodgeball, and frisbee, schola practice, limbo in the hallway, all the times that I was sore from laughing so hard - I have never had quite as much fun as I did with you guys!  I also learnt a ton from you - you taught me how to come out of my shell, but not be immature, how to joke around, but when to be serious, how to attend Mass reverently, but not stoically, how to do philosophy, without being too weird, how to live the faith and spread the gospel, all in love, how to discern God's will, and to not give up in the hard times.  Literally, in countless ways, you guys were huge parts of my growth so far in seminary.  You made me a better man in every way: academically (all those times studying for Plato/Aristotle, psychology, ethics, calculus, metaphysics, logic, and everything else), spiritually (praying the divine office in common, all those conversations about meditation, liturgy, prayer, all those times when we ended the day together in a Holy Hour, those times when we would get together in the middle of the day to pray a rosary, or mid-day prayer), and in so many other ways...


I could go on and on, but basically, you guys were fantastic teachers - in pretty much every area that seminary necessitates growth in, the best of examples to me in how to go about discernment, prayer, and advancement in the spiritual life, and really, truly, were incredibly important in my learning about (and hopefully advancing in) every kind of virtue - humility, charity, perseverance, joy, courage, chastity, etc.  And all of those things I leaned while having an absolute blast!  I know a flower is a bit cheesy, but please know it is so much more than a flower.  You guys made seminary not only fun, you made it an incredible learning experience.  God willing, in a few years (wow, that's scary) when I'm ordained, I will have been significantly shaped by my time spent with all of you.  Thanks for everything guys (and everything that I forgot), keep in touch!
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The End of the Semester and Trusting God with the Future

Well folks, I just finished college!  I managed to survive Monday (which entailed finishing a paper at 2 AM, and knocking out two tough philosophy tests), and then must of us went to the funeral for Joe's brother on Tuesday (hopefully, I can get together a post entirely on that day), so I then had to make up the New Testament test (not too hard because I studied enough for it) and logic (also easier than expected) on Wednesday.  After that, the only final I had remaining was the take-home essay for modern and contemporary philosophy, which was pretty easy (only a few pages long) and only took an hour or two.  

Of course, the difficulties, successes, and completion of finals week isn't enough of a topic for a post regarding the end of the semester and the end of my college career, so I guess I'll spend the rest of this post talking a bit more about the whole experience so far.

To be honest, I've thoroughly, completely, utterly loved seminary over these past two years.  I was scared out of my wits when I showed up, but within hours I had begun to feel the vibe, the energy, the joy, and the intensity of seminary - and I fell in love.  I can't begin to express how wonderful of an experience it has been.  I have learned more than I thought possible - about philosophy, about life, about friendships, about discernment, about faith, about love - and I've enjoyed every moment - including the hard ones, like tests, and dry periods in prayer, and situations that forced me out of my comfort zone, and the awesome ones, like playing in the soccer tournament, those beautiful moments in Mass where everything clicks and it really feels like heaven, going out to eat with some of your best friends, watching countless great movies, spending hours of supreme peace in front of the Blessed Sacrament, study groups.  Yeah, every moment has been phenomenal!  
And now it's all about to change...  On the one hand, I'm excited.  Not only to graduate and enjoy the feeling of completing college, but also to head home (spend some quality time with the family), and then in July to head over to Italy to begin a new (and awesome) chapter in my seminary "career".  Yeah, I'm looking forward to all of it.  But on the other hand, I'm going to miss Brute.  I love the fact that I have a genuine friend in everybody here - something that is going to be much harder when I'm at the PNAC with 250 other guys.  I love the laughter, and music, and singing, and craziness that echos down the halls - this truly is a fun place!  But, on the third hand (whatever that is...), moving on is a bit scary.  Studying in Rome will be fantastic, but it will also be a struggle.  I'll be a long way away from all the great friends I have (here at Brute as well as at home), and my wonderful family - that's hard, it's a sacrifice I wish I didn't have to make...  Most of the guys here at Brute have been moving out yesterday and today and it finally hit me that I won't be seeing a lot of these guys in the near future - it's a happy moment (the semester is over!), but it's also sad.  In 2 months (almost exactly) I'll be doing the same thing with my family and friends back home, and that will be an even more exciting, and even more difficult, moment.  

Still, I'm putting it all in God's hands.  Lord, lead me where you want me, give me the strength to endure the hardships that your vocation entails for me, and grant me the true joy that comes with following You.

The second half of my New Testament final was an exegesis essay on Luke 2:25-35 (the presentation in the temple and Simeon's canticle).  I talked about how Luke's Gospel, all the way through, is looking at how true joy (from God) only comes through a certain amount of suffering, often in self-sacrifice and trusting Him.  Zechariah and Elizabeth experience the pain of not having a child before God gives them one.  Mary is asked to trust God completely, but receives the incarnate joy of Jesus Christ.  Then, arriving at the temple, they are required to offer Jesus back to God, and not only that, but Simeon prophesies that a sword will pierce Mary's heart.  Following God isn't always easy, it isn't always fun; actually it requires sacrifice - only through sacrificing ourselves to Him can He transform us with His joy.  Only through less reliance on ourselves, and more trust in Him, can he replace our pitiable joys with His own.  It's tough to learn - I for sure want to rely on myself, not Him - but ironically, going to Rome - something that I am super excited for - will also end up helping me grow in the trust of God.  God brings good out of evil, but He also bring supernatural good out of our own natural goods (at least, if we let Him).  

Yeah, so I'm excited, and scared, and happy, and unsure - and life continues to spin along.  The future is bright, but a bit unknown at the same time.  Jesus, I trust in You!
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A Long Over-Due Update...

Hello again!  Sorry for having had such a long hiatus between posts, time just got away from me and I didn't get any posts done.  This will be another quickie update because it is quickly closing in on 11 PM and I'd like to get to bed at a reasonable time tonight...  So, without further ado, my week:

This past weekend, as I briefly mentioned previously, was an open weekend and I had the opportunity to go down with my family and visit my sister.  I've had some previous posts about what we usually do there, so I won't go into innumerable details, just that it was a wonderful, peaceful visit, and she is doing great.  I also greatly enjoyed the time spent with the rest of the family (even if most of it was in the car).  We listened to a few Catholic talks, lots of music, and joked around a good bit - it was great!  

This week in school has gone well.  It was actually somewhat easy (at least compared to last week when I had 4 tests), and I am far enough into all my classes to know how much work each one will usually require.  Thankfully, it doesn't look like any will be overwhelming and all, as far as I can tell, should be very academically enriching (all my classes are really good).  I also had my last class period for the 1-credit-hour Mission & History of Catholic Schools class.  I'm not quite done (still have a short paper to do), but it is nice to know that my Monday evenings won't be completely taken anymore. 

Spiritually, this week has also been really great.  I have found myself being able to concentrate during Mass/prayer better, just finding great little quotes in books, and having those "ah-ha" moments when things just click.  I really want to post about a lot of these things, but no such luck just yet...  Actually, I just looked back at some of my posts from months gone by and I was disappointed to see how life-less they have gotten lately.  Sorry, I really do want to get some quality posts up here, but I'm busy and what time I have I manage to waste usually...

Finally, I'd like to end with a fantastic point that Fr. Tom made in his homily this afternoon.  The 1st reading was from Jude where he lambastes the Christians who give partial treatment to the rich and ignore/mistreat the poor.  Fr. Tom pointed out that we all are poor.  Maybe not monetarily, but in God's eyes (and hopefully in our own) we all are fallible, sometimes broken, weak, sinful human beings.  Worse than this though is our apathy in remaining in this condition (sorry Fr. Tom, this isn't exactly the direction you went, but I couldn't remember the way that you connected these passages exactly...).  Jesus calls us in the Gospel to see as God sees, not as humans do, and that means seeing ourselves as works in progress and others in the same way.  It reminded me of the points that Br. John Mark made about humility needing to become hospitality.  Obviously, we can't be content with remaining in sin, but rejecting other people because they are sinners is hypocrisy because we are sinners too.  (Remember, reject the sin, not the sinner).  What does James conclude with? - "You shall love your neighbor as yourself".  What does Jesus conclude with? - "Get behind me satan!"  The point in all of this: don't think as the world thinks, think as God thinks - and that means giving yourself to the poor (material, spiritual, educational, whatever) as Jesus did.  In one of those talks we listened to while on the road, the speaker (who I don't remember off the top of my head) made the important point that Jesus' death wasn't the most painful ever.  Now, don't get me (or him) wrong, Jesus' passion and death were incredibly, unthinkably, immensely, painful, but that wasn't what made Christ's death infinitely efficacious.  What made Our Lord's death different was His love.  Gosh, it seems like every post boils down to love somehow, but it really is important.  (Now I'm really getting off the track of Fr. Tom's homily).  Anyway, the important thing to remember is that we must try to think as God thinks and have mercy on the sinner, being willing to give an awful lot to do God's will for them, not our own, and often that means helping out people that we sometimes don't think are worth helping. 

Good night! 
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The Crunch Continues!

As with most of my post during the last few weeks of a semester, this will be short.
 
Advent is wonderful.  The readings and psalms are so beautiful in the breviary every day, it is so awesome to read everything in light of the coming of Christ into the world (in Bethlehem, at every Mass, and at the end of time), even the old, familiar things that I say every day take on a new, profound meaning.
 
The metaphysics paper is slowly coming together (meaning I'm a few pages into it, but it isn't by any means in my head yet).  I am really hopeful to get a bunch done tomorrow, but my hopes weren't very accurate today, so we'll see...
 
I'm tired.  Gosh, I thought that the last weekend would push me into the final stretch with tons of energy and enthusiasm, but I am starting to feel the pressure of the end of the semester.  I've got a few things left this week (metaphysics paper being the biggest, but also a psychology test and the senior seminar paper).  Next week should be even more fun, I have 2 finals on Monday (psychology should be easy, calculus will be more challenging), 1 on Tuesday (Augustine and Aquinas, shouldn't be bad if I study enough), 1 on Tuesday/Wednesday (it's the senior seminar take-home, which should be long, tough, and cover plenty of material that I haven't seen yet...), 1 on Wednesday (moral issues, shouldn't be bad.), and 1 on Thursday (metaphysics, should be hard, but I will have time to study, so that's good).  There you have it, the negatives...
 
How about some positives?  I had a fun time this evening going out to celebrate one of the guy's 21st birthday.  I'm not 21, so I didn't participate in any drinking, but it was a fun meal anyway, and a good break from the philosophizing.  On Wednesday we will celebrate the annual Brute Christmas (basically a good meal and a fun time giving each other presents.  On Friday I'll be done with the papers!, and we are also having the first ever Brute talent show - should be quite the evening!  On Saturday I will be going out caroling with a bunch of other guys.  We are going the same place that Ray and I go for our ministry (a Catholic nursing home), so that is cool too!  On Sunday, I'm going over to Cincinnati for a Christmas concert of some sort put on by the seminary over there (Mount St. Mary's of the West).  Basically, the next week will be daunting and awesome!
 
On that note, I'm going to get a decent night's sleep - I feel like I need it right now.  Hopefully the run that I'm going on with a few other guys tomorrow will galvanize me for the rest of the semester.  I'm usually not the guy that wants the semester to be over, I have so much fun and grow so much while here, but this semester has been pretty tough.  Hmmm.  This post isn't overly positive, sorry about that - it's late, I'm tired, and I guess the school work is getting to me...
 
Good Night, I hope that your Advent is a blessed as mine!
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The Crunch Begins!

Good afternoon!  Well, winter is upon us!  We don't have any snow (yet), but it has gotten cold here in Indy (barely got above freezing today).  I was feeling like I had been lazy the last week or two (exercise wise), so I rode my bike to Marian and back today.  Cue the weird feeling of sweating inside and freezing outside of the coat. 
 
As always (at least for this time of the semester), I am really, really busy.  I think this semester has probably been the most crazy of all my previous ones.  I have 3 big (8, 10, and 15 page) philosophy papers due in the next week or so, and that doesn't count any of the finals (which I haven't even thought about yet).  We have to finish recording the schola Christmas CD tomorrow.  I have to get a letter in the mail to my sister, so she can get it before Advent starts.  Yep, so I'm busy!

However, the semester is going really, really, well!  Being busy is a bit fun, it's a challenge to over come and an opportunity to get better spiritually, intellectually, and every-other-which-way-ally.
 
NCYC was phenomenal.  It was tiring at times, and boring at times, and a bit crazy at times, but I had a wonderful, wonderful time.  I got some posters from the Catholic to the Max booth ($15 for 3 of them).  One is Jesus as Divine Mercy, on is of St. Michael, and one is of Mary with Jesus.  They are beautiful!  I hope to get a post up (with pictures and video) of NCYC asap, but that very well could be at the end of the semester...  (sorry).
 
That's my life for now.  I'll be heading home tomorrow evening to celebrate thanksgiving with the family.  I am sure that will be a great time as well!

Ah well, back to work.
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Time Flies When You're Having Fun!

This semester has been absolutely flying by. Not only has every week sped by, due to a relatively heavy course load (last week it still felt like Tuesday on Thursday), but the weekends too have been absolutely chock full of stuff to do (sports, hanging out, events, talks, homework, ministry). It's now my third semester in the seminary, and each one gets better and better. Sure, there were some ups and downs, but seriously, overall it has been absolutely phenomenal so far. That is why I am so surprised at the fact that it is almost over. I only have one full week of classes left (this week is cut short by NCYC, next week by thanksgiving, and the week after that is the week before finals)! It's absolutely crazy! I can clearly remember moving in at the beginning of the semester, and meeting all the new guys, and the first week of classes, and the first wave of tests, and the first discernment dinner, and the many, many community dinners, and the talks on campus, and the midterms, and the soccer tournament, and wow, there has just been so much happening... It has been wonderful, overwhelming, full of growth, and (almost) constant joy! Some of the guys are starting to want the semester to end; I feel like it has just begun. There is so much more to learn, so many more prayers to be said, so much more growth to be had, so much more fun to do. Gosh, I guess it's not a bad problem to have. God is so good! 

Well, that's all for now - sorry, I really want to write something fantastic, deep, and funny, but I'm currently deep into my Augustine/Aquinas and Senior Seminar papers (neither of which will finish themselves), and I should probably focus on getting those done first. Love God, Have fun, and Be Not Afraid!

Please let me know in the comments if this post is almost unreadable because the words are chopped off at the end of each line.  I keep seeing it on my end, and want to make sure that it is just a problem with my computer...  Thanks!
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