Showing posts with label Priesthood. Show all posts

Legion of Mary, in St. Peter's Square!

In your second semester at the NAC you get assigned an apostolate, which usually involves some kind of work in the fields of evangelization or charitable work.  Options are as varied as working with the Missionaries of Charity to feed the poor, to teaching students catechism, to giving tours of St. Peters, to - and this is the one I am blessed to be a part of - evangelizing pilgrims in St. Peter's square as part of the Legion of Mary.  Lets just say, it's an amazing apostolate!

Like any other Legion group (it is a worldwide organization, with "Legions" of Mary at Parishes all over the place), the 10 or so of us meet once a week and pray the rosary, read out of the hand-book (both devotional, speaking about the beauty of emulating and following Our Lady, and practical, as in, how to do that out in the world when trying to evangelize), and go through the reports of what all the members did over the past week.  In our case, the work we do doing during the week is always evangelizing down in St. Peter's Square.  We go out in pairs, for about 2 hours, and just make ourselves available to whoever wants to talk with us during the time.  So, I've been out a handful of times now (I started at the beginning of this semester), with a couple of different guys, and it has had a profound effect on my approach to evangelization, my confidence in approaching and conversing with strangers, and my excitement for the priesthood.  

Regarding evangelization, two factors have made this apostolate a fantastic chance to learn how to take the Gospel out to the world.  Firstly, the other guys that I've been going down there with are great examples - they're zealous, loving, excited, patient, knowledgable, and approachable - and they've taught me a lot about how to jump into a conversation with a random pilgrim in the Square.  I found myself prone to sort of dismiss those who just wanted directions to the Vatican Museum or the times for Masses in St. Peter's; it was easy just to give them the info and send them on their way.  But, as the other guys showed me, evangelization often begins with the most humble of openings - just ask them how they liked St. Peters, or how long they've been in Rome, or where they are from, and boom, things happen.  Like the lady we encountered asking where to buy rosaries - simple, I thought, head down the Borgo Pio and you're set - but instead we started to talk with her, and she started talking about her kids, the trip she was currently taking with her husband, and asking about our vocations and what we were doing in Rome.  We ended up inviting her to the NAC for Evening Prayer, went out for dinner afterwards, and it turned into a profound conversion experience for her and her husband who hadn't been to church in years!  Factor number two: a lot more people have questions about the Church and the faith, than I would have thought.  I guess I figured that most people wandering in and around St. Peters would be Catholics, or at least Christians, coming to the center of Christ's church here on earth.  But, that is not the case at all.  Sure, there are many, many pilgrims who don't have questions about the faith, but an awful lot do!  Is Pope Francis changing the Church's teaching on marriage, abortion, etc? (answer: nope - Jesus taught otherwise.)  Will we have female priests? (answer: nope - Jesus chose otherwise.)  Why are the churches so lavish, yet there are poor people all around? (answer: love of the poor has to be integrated with love of God, beautiful churches aren't antithetical to caring for the poor), Why is Peter this important? (answer: Christ chose him to lead His church, as He chooses every Pope to continue being his vicar until His return).  

The Fountains are Flowing Again!
(they are especially beautiful at night, lit up from below)
Obviously, conversations have gotten a lot deeper than that, and I don't want to leave you with the wrong emphasis by my summary of conversations that we've had.  I've learned that above all it's important to not go into a situation with the idea to argue the person out from their error to the truth.  Yes, apologetics plays a role in the conversations - that's part of proclaiming the truth - but, possibly just as important, is exuding the joy and excitement that comes from following Christ.  People don't like an argument, even if it's convincing, they do like happiness.  Christ offers both: truth and joy, and they do go together, but a glum, argumentative, seminarian doesn't change anybody's life, whereas a person who is excited about the truth does!  (Obviously, with God's help.  That example I gave above truly made me realize this.  I said very little during the multi-hour conversation, yet, somehow, God was able to work through our presence to bring Himself to this couple.)  Being "confident" doesn't mean being macho, and off-putting, it means being willing to share the faith, the relationship with Christ, that I have been blessed to have.  It means showing just how amazing life is when you give it over to Him.  Yep, there are crosses - classes are hard, I don't have enough time to do everything I want (hmmm. maybe it's not all about me...), I'm not perfect, I'm far from home - the cross is part of following Our Lord, but there are so many more blessings!  The chance to be 5 minutes from the Vatican, to play soccer in sight of the dome of St. Peters, to travel around Europe, to delve into the mysteries of the faith, to walk past a dozen beautiful, ancient, saint-filled, churches on the way to class every morning, to start every day with Mass, and spend a couple hours talking with God every day - it's awesome!  Does following Christ automatically mean fun travels and great classes? No. But it does mean fulfillment, the peace of knowing that every moment - good, bad, easy, hard, boring, or busy - is a gift from Him, a gentle reminder to turn to Him and be thankful for His love.  It is challenging, but it is rewarding, and the world doesn't know that those things can go together (they can!)  Evangelization isn't faux-confident, overbearing, pounding-in-the-truths-of-the-faith, arguments; no, it's about living ones life according to Christ and thereby showing just how amazing that is.  This is what the early Christians did (above all in their willingness to die for their faith, confident in Christ and peaceful in knowing that eternal life awaited those who turned their lives over to Him), and they transformed the world!

Last point: Being down there, in the collar, bringing the faith to those traveling through Rome, has made me ever more excited to one day, God willing, be a priest.  Gosh, ordination could be only 3 years away at this point - that's crazy (as in, time is flying by), but it's also exciting!  I can't wait to get back to my diocese and minister to the people there, bringing them the faith that I've experienced here in Rome, the sacraments, an amazing opportunity to encounter our all-loving God, and the inspiration of so many faithful that I've encountered here (that's something that I didn't even talk about in this post, as well as devotion to Mary...  Ah well, it can't be a dissertation.)

So yeah, it's an amazing apostolate and I am so glad that it was the one chosen for me!  So much to learn, so much to see, so much to do - all from, and for, Christ!
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Whoever Finds a Friend, Has Found a Treasure!

So, for whatever reason, I woke up with the words from the palio "run, so as to win!" in my mind - don't ask why, I have no idea!  BUT, they reminded me of a very important fact: the incredible generosity and support that I've been given over the past couple months here in my transition to the NAC by everybody here.  See, in the Palio, when the priest is giving the horse that blessing before-hand, he shouts at it to "run" [va! - go!] "so as to win" [per vincere (something like that...)].  But the thing is, that the horse is all on his own - if the jockey falls off, the horse can still win, as long as it just keeps running and manages to get around first.  Here, at the NAC, things have felt just about as hectic, just about as fast-paced, and just about as crazy as the three, insane, blisteringly-fast, laps of the Palio.  These last couple months have been absolutely packed with stuff to get done, things to complete, places to go, things to do, people to meet, new things to learn, culture to immerse yourself in (not only Italian, but also getting to know how things work here in the seminary) - it's been about the busiest time of my life!  BUT, unlike the palio, and that horse, I have not been alone at all. Every single step of the way - from the faculty, the other upper-year men, and the other guys in my class - I've gotten just blown away by how much everybody is willing, and wanting, to help me out.

The Opening Banquet, in the NAC Dining Room
Last evening (now last week, this post is taking longer than I though) was the opening banquet, a pretty fancy meal that they have every year after the first week of classes (for most guys - some of the 2nd-cycle guys, in their 4th and later years start on different weeks) to officially start the year and welcome everybody back.  We had had a smaller, but just as fun, banquet maybe a month or two ago (I think it was after we got back from our first month of Italian studies outside of Rome - for me, in Assisi) to welcome all the new men (myself and my 50 or so classmates), but this was the final, official, one, and it marks the moment when everything finally settles down - for the most part - and things get into the usual schedule and whatnot (6:15 AM Mass, then breakfast, then classes, then pranzo, then studying, then sports, the Adoration, then Evening Prayer, then cena, then hanging-out, then bed, etc.!)  Anyway, so after a delicious meal (antipasto: prosciutto, buffalo mozzarella, mushrooms, and dried tomatoes; primo: carbonara; secundo: roasted chicken, cooked spinach, and mashed potatoes; and dolche: a kind of cream-filled, powder-sugar-covered cake), one of the men from my class (Colin Jones, who also has a blog) gave the opening-banquet-toast on behalf of the new-men during which he expressed exactly what I'm trying to say here.  

First of all, the faculty! The talks that we've had so far - about the different basilicas, homilies during Mass, conferences on life here at the NAC, and in Rome - have been inspiring, beautiful, reassuring, and everything else that I could possibly hope for.  I've started taking notes for pretty much every single talk I hear because I know they'll be great! Msgr. Checchio, the rector, gave us our first formation conference this past Thursday, and in it he was completely genuine in his exhorting us to open ourselves to formation here - to allow the priests, the experience, and most of all, Christ, to form us, above everything else, after the heart of Christ.  Everything else - academic prowess, physical fitness, even spiritual-ness - only comes after that foundational love, that fundamental openness, to become more and more, day after day, in every single moment and every single way, like Christ.  Priests are meant to go [va!] - to teach, to preach, to heal, to help - in the most profound and extraordinary way, like Christ - in persona Christi capitis - and seminary, Msgr. explained, is meant, above all, to form us to be more and more like Him.  Of course, he continued, this means that it's not always easy, it's meant to be a challenge because - face it - we're not all that much like Christ at the moment, though were striving for that.  The challenge of living a truly radical, completely loving, absolutely dedicated, perfectly generous life is a life-long one (and one that requires that we depend on God and His grace).  BUT, getting back on track, Msgr. Checchio reminded us that the seminary is designed - in every single way - to get us on that path of holiness and Christ-likeness.  Everyone, himself included, is watching out for us, not - in the words of Pope Francis - because the seminary is a police-state or something - but because they want us, above all, to grow towards Christ during our time here, in faith, and hope, and love, and chastity, and preparation, and courage, etc.  He reiterated that all the priests here, and all the formation that we'll be experiencing over the next years - spiritually, pastorally, humanly - will be hard at times, but that we must, like Christ, remain obedient to God's will (as indicated through those He has chosen - our bishops) and stick it out, trusting that all is meant to lead us closer to God so as to love His people better.  My synthesis of his talk, incomplete as it is, makes it less inspiring, and more scary, than it actually was.  It was an amazing, impassioned, inspiring talk, and it made me ready and willing to throw myself into formation - come what may - to become that holy, healthy, and happy priest that the NAC is striving to prepare and form!

In so many other ways too, the priests have been so very helpful over the past couple of months.  From their constant offers to help us, and their constant willingness to direct us, and their constant patience with our mistakes, forgetfulness, and confusion of getting to know a new place, to their inspiring example of being priests just joyfully giving themselves to Christ and His church, to their always-happy greetings in the hallways, there have been so many examples of generosity among the faculty here it's just astounding!  I know for myself, they've been an inspiration!  Like that time I got hundreds of bug bites, and looked like the panther from "Put me in the Zoo" [yeah, that was a long time ago, even for the youngest member of our class...], a very obvious ailment because the next day was our beach-outing, and several of the priests immediately offered different medicines/creams, and arranged to have the sisters who run the infirmary to come over, and then checked up over the next couple days to make sure I was doing fine.  It was awkward, I wanted to "be a man" and just tough it out, but their help meant I itched for a couple days rather than a couple weeks, and it taught me the even more important lesson of learning to look out for, and help, everybody around me.  Just last Thursday - another great anecdote - the new priests on faculty made their oath of fidelity to the faith and to the church.  It was so cool, and powerful, to see those priests, standing in front of the entire community and commiting themselves to forming me, and the other seminarians, according to the faith! Colin gave some good examples, and some funny ones, in his speech, (and I could as well) but I won't dive into those here (some other time); this is supposed to be a short post (after all, it is [was] like 5 in the morning... on a Saturday) and I'd like to get my ideas down as quickly as possible.


The Guys from my Hall (which is called "4th NASA")
The second group of guys that Colin thanked, and I'd totally agree, are the other men here.  A huge thumbs-up to all those guys who have constantly, after I bring up the topic of struggling in Italian (like every day...), given me advise, and encouragement, to stick it out, be patient with myself, and that eventually it will come.  Or those guys who've bought us gelato, or cooked us meals, or baked cookies, or told us the best places to eat in Rome, or organized sports, or put tons of free-stuff [regalo] on the halls for me to scavenge and fill my room with (seriously, I've picked up a couple of chairs, books, a bunk-bed, a fan, a carpet, a table, a clock, and some other things), or invited us into their groups during dinner, or welcomed us warmly when we showed up at the lounge that first night, or showed us around the KNAC (a little store they run here with stationary, snacks, soap, and other important little things), or opened the bowling alley for us (yep, we have a bowling alley - the second oldest one in Europe - down in the basement), or helped tutor us in Italian, or came and visited us on the breaks during our first week of classes, or walked us over to our schools for the Italian proficiency test, and helped me retrieve my back-pack after I forgot it during the Italian proficiency test [ho domenticato il mio zaino...], or stopped by our rooms to greet us, to chat, to welcome us (again, and again, and again!), or complemented us on those little things we got right, or put like a hundred different holy cards in our boxes, or talked about places we should visit, or prayed for us during this previous summer...  (If you hadn't guessed, I could go on!)  Colin again, had a couple of good examples, some funny some seriously eye-opening to just how generous these guys have been, and just how far they've gone to welcome and help us.  Again, I'm going to keep it short and move onto the last group of awesome folks I've become friends with.

My Class, In Front of St. Peter's
My Class, After our Retreat in Greccio
And that would be the members of my own class.  We were all thrown together there at the airport in Newark a couple months ago, myself knowing very few of them, but ever since that moment I've been enjoying my time with them immensely.  They're a great group of guys!  Enthusiastic about diving into the next level of seminary, incredibly supportive when I'm feeling overwhelmed by whatever challenge happens to hit me his week (mainly, it's been the Italian), competitive on the sports field, ready and willing to wander around with me, constantly giving a little grin or "hello" as they walk past my room, models for holiness, and perseverance, and discernment.  But, above all those superlative adjectives, they are just a bunch of men that are a ton of fun to spend time with, and I'm privileged to count them as friends!  Growing together, praying together, struggling together, exploring together, settling-in together; it forms close bonds, and it forms close friendships!  Yeah, it's a great class, the next five years will be full of wonderful times and experiences, and - God-willing - in 3 years, I'll be laying down next to them in St. Peter's basilica about to be ordained a deacon!  

Yeah, so the NAC is a phenomenal place to be preparing for priesthood, due very much so to the great men that are here - priests and other seminarians!  They are all open to God's grace working in their lives, and God's love working through their lives, and it shows!  It's a wonderful place to be!  

Softball!
Side note: with 250 guys it's really hard to get to know, or even remember the names, of everybody.  Literally, I don't think I've met everybody and we've been all back for probably about a month...  Still, while that's the challenge of having such a large group, thankfully things are broken down quite a bit into smaller groups.  For instance, there's the usual guys who play soccer, or the guys in the choir, or the guys in my class at the Greg, or the guys on my hall, or the guys from Illinois, or the guys who do a Bible Study every Thursday, etc.  It's a great way to build those stronger friendships that would be tough otherwise if you just had to jump into the whole huge group of them.

"Faithful friends are a sturdy shelter: whoever finds one has found a treasure.  Faithful friends are beyond price; no amount can balance their worth.  Faithful friends are life-saving medicine; and those who fear the Lord will find them.  Those who fear the Lord direct their friendship aright, for as they are, so are their neighbors also." - Sirach 6:14-17
New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)
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Arrivederci! - A Week of Fun & Family, Packing & Preparing, Finding God's Good Amidst the Sacrifice of Going to Rome

So this morning I sat down at mom and dad's computer (because mine is broken) and started writing a post about love, how it is so much more than the modern world thinks it is, and requires so much more on our part.  But then I started getting bogged down trying to introduce the topic and so, I switched to this post, which is just as belated in coming, but will be much easier to quickly bang out.  Of course, the one on love is probably more important, but I'll have to wait for a bit of inspiration before that one gets moving again...

Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati
There are so many things that I have wanted to blog about this summer: just the typical day with the family (wake up at 7, pray, eat breakfast, work on Italian a bit, go to Mass, eat lunch, pack something, pray some more, go for a run, eat dinner, watch a movie, play a board game, pray the rosary, go to bed...), more about vacation (something about all the wonderful blessings God has given me - a great family, so much great hiking, kayaking, site-seeing, and eating), or about true fatherhood (and how it must emulate the Trinity, especially in a sacrificial love), or how difficult it is to avoid being lazy during the summer (how to carve out time for prayer, or growing in generosity...), or about Our Lady, or the Sacred Heart, or Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati (feast day a few days ago, incredible model for sanctity, charity, and chastity, from the modern world), and so on...  Basically, as always, I've had a ton of good ideas and not enough time and - more disastrously - not enough will power, to write them up (as of right now, I have like 60 something posts that are stuck in some kind of preliminary draft, most, I don't think, are going to escape that status).

So, I find myself less than a week away from leaving for Rome and I haven't wrote much, if anything, about what that means. So, this post will be practical, and maybe a bit funny - explaining what I've been up to lately in regards to preparing for my immanent departure - as well as explanatory - saying what I know about my trip over to the Eternal City, and what will happen once I get there - and finally, it will also be reflective - on my discernment up to this point and what it's like to be heading off to Rome.  I haven't gotten all these ideas straightened out in my head yet, but hopefully they will all come out in some sort of coherent fashion.

My Italian Visa!
Alright, so last week, having spent the previous 4 weeks at Springfield (for the ordinations), Chicago (to apply for an Italian Visa - which I have since received in the mail!), Washington (on vacation), Indianapolis (for Brute days), and Marbury, AL (to visit my sister, who is a novice at the Dominican Monastery of St. Jude down there), I didn't have much time to pack.  And so, when the 3rd or 4th week of July came around - the recommended dates by which I should ship my stuff over to Rome - I hadn't even started.  In fact, I still had four boxes of stuff on my floor, not to ship over, but ones that I hadn't even unpacked yet from moving out of Brute (yeah, I've been procrastinating).   So, as is usually the case, when I reached the point where I absolutely couldn't wait any longer, I decided to start.  I began by throwing everything in those boxes out on my floor, printing off the handy list that the NAC has made of things you should bring, and starting some sort of Catholic podcast on my iPod - here we go!  "School supplies" - well, I can get those later, I wouldn't forget things like that [yeah right!]..., "Liturgy of the Hours" - grabs them, shoves as many Holy Cards as possible into crevices between books, places in empty box - check, "Contact Lenses and Solution" - pounds down stairs, "hey dad, what's that place that you order contacts from?" [several minutes later, myself mystified by the technical jargon cryptically printed on the side of the box - spherical correction, pupilary distance, DIA, BC, ... dad decides to order the stuff - THANKS DAD! - and I pound back up to my room - check, "Italian grammar books" - checks Amazon.com, scrolls through the first 5 Italian/English dictionaries, finds one for $10, with 4 star reviews, clicks "add to cart", then gets distracted by Facebook, or YouTube, or some technology site - maybe I should get this tablet, or camera, or cool power conversion thingamabob - and then finally moves back to packing - check, "Two black suits and black pants" - check, "dozens of black socks" - "dozens!, I've never had a dozen black socks, if I have 6 pairs, that match, I think I'm doing good!", digs through the box of clothes that mom ordered, "hey look, black socks - oh yeah, mom printed this list out! [THANKS MOM!]" - check, "books" - glances around at pile of papers strewn across the floor - information on debit card, nope, visa application, nope, candidacy paperwork, nope, travel documentation, nope, finally finds the list of books, and then spends hours painstakingly tracking down the best prices for those books, and then orders the really important ones - check, sort of...  Then I glance at the clock, 11:20, good grief, we're leaving for Mass in 20 minutes, and I still need to take a shower and do morning prayer...

Too much stuff!
Such was the typical morning last week - I say week because though I expected to be able to get all my boxes packed up in a day or two, that didn't exactly happen.  Actually, I decided that I would ship my bike over as well - a lot of guys apparently have them over there, and I could see that it would be genuinely useful - can't be too hard right?  Off I went to the bicycle shop - on my bike, so they could see what kind I had - "Do you guy sell bicycle boxes?", "yep.", "OK, can I get one for my [insert type of bicycle here] bike?"  "Sure, but there is no way you'll be able to carry it home riding your bike." Oh ye of little faith, think I, it's only like a mile home, and I'm not too ashamed to look like a dork for a few minutes...  "Alright, I'll come back with a car." [a few hours later, having gone to Mass, talked with the guy at the FedEx place, and run by the bank, I return to the bike shop.] "Hi there, I'm here to pick up a bicycle box."  "Alright, that'll be $5.35, they're bringing it out from the back now."  Then, out from the back came one of the biggest boxes I had ever seen.  I mean, you couldn't fit a refrigerator in it, but there is no way I could have carried it on my bike, not even for a couple of blocks.  I awkwardly grappled with it and marched out to the car, where thankfully it squeezed into the backseat.

 Fast-forwarding through the last week - I managed to fit my bicycle into this enormous box (it took up way more space than I thought it would), and I packed in as much clothing and towels and whatnot in around it (not only to secure the bike, but also to use up all that otherwise empty space) to the point where the box was bulging ominously, and I also finally got around to fitting the last several books into each of those other boxes, and finally [sorry, this is definitely a run-on sentence] I roped my brother into helping me and we took them out to the FedEx place [5 'and's - that's terrible].  And, wouldn't you know it, they were closed because it was the day before Independence Day.  I was a bit frustrated, not only because they were closed, but also because I was already running about a week behind on getting everything shipped and now it looked like it would be another week before I could get everything moving.  Thankfully though, I found another FedEx place outside of Quincy (I guess their sorting facility or something) and they were open.  So, after driving out there, and filling out the paperwork (which wasn't short or easy), and lugging the stuff into the tiny office, I finally was able to drive away knowing (alright, more like hoping) that it was all on its way.  Update from the future: Everything arrived just a few days later in Rome and is now awaiting my arrival!

 Another big thing that happened this week regarding my immanent departure for the Eternal City was a big going away party of sorts on Saturday.  Mom had been planning it for several weeks now, thinking about all the different cool kinds of food, writing up lists of people to invite, scoping out (and renting) a pavilion at a park, and getting the house ready for the 20ish family members who were staying over.  Basically, it was going to be a pretty big deal and a last major opportunity for me to tell people what I was heading into (as well as I knew it) and - you know - saying good-buy.  Many of my cousins/aunts/uncles/grandparents were there, as were a lot of family friends from Church and elsewhere, and after a bit of rain and chilly weather in the morning, the afternoon turned into a perfect 80 degree and sunny day!  We had brats, hot-dogs, pulled-pork, mustard, onions, pickles, cole-slaw, potato-salad, pasta-salad, texas caviar (salsa on steroids), chips of all kinds, baked beans, watermelon, cookies, brownies, blackberry dump cake, angel food cake, strawberries, peaches, and on and on...  (It was all absolutely delicious!)  I was able to tell pretty much everybody a huge thanks for coming as well as a brief summary of what I would be up to over the next few weeks (on Sunday, fly to Rome, stay a week at the PNAC doing preliminary orientation stuff, then go to Assisi for 4 weeks of Italian immersion, then back to Rome for the full orientation, with all the old/past-year guys as well, before finally starting classes in late September).  And, to my delight, I was also able to have a ton of fun playing tag and soccer - I am not in as good of shape as I was even 2 months ago, something about not working out 4 times a week does that to you (oh, and all that food)...

 So yeah, gosh, it was a spectacular, awesome, really-fun day.  I could go into many of the minor stories of talking with people, trying to stay warm during the morning of July 5th (what's up with that?) launching paper lanterns with cousins, collapsing that night on my sleeping-bag (the boys were kicked outside in tents because "there was no room for [us] in the place where travelers lodge" - sorry, I had to do that, the tents actually weren't bad at all).  I could reminisce about just how much of a blast it was to spend the weekend with all my cousins (as well as all those other friends) - all the fun things we did, chats we had, food we ate, or time we spent together.  But I guess I won't - rather I just want to emphasize just how blessed I am with all those wonderful, fun, people in my lives.  The times I've spent with all of them are beyond wonderful, they've been absolutely splendid, and I suppose that's a good segue into the next topic of this post: just how much I'm going to miss all of them.

 At first glance - for myself too - being able to study in Rome looked like a dream come true.  I'll be honest, every since I first heard that seminarians studied in Rome, I was hoping to be able to do it.  But then came the moment of decision, back several months now, and I saw that it would also be hard to leave everything I know and love behind (to some extent).  Of course, back in November, that moment was far removed, so even though it was one of the few things that held me back from immediately saying yes, it wasn't an immediate concern.  Now, of course, it is.  I have watched the months slip past from the beginnings of my last semester in college, to Easter, to finals, and then to summer.  Even after graduation I comforted myself with the thought that I had another 2 months - packed with things to do and see and experience with family and friends - before I had to leave for Rome.  But now, 3 days away from take-off, I find myself in the really weird situation of being incredibly excited about taking that next step, of heading off to Rome for the theology years of seminary, and at the same time being saddened by the thought of leaving my family and friends behind.  Don't get me wrong, I'll make tons of great, new, friends over there, but it's going to be hard to not be with everybody from back home.  Am I worried about the Italian - sure - the oral finals - a bit - the totally unfamiliar place - yeah - but not that much...  I'm confidant that I can manage all those things.  But the remaining challenge, of leaving family and friends behind (again, not completely, I can skype, but it's not quite the same), that is something that no amount of hard work, or late nights, or confidence, can overcome.  That is a "loss", a sacrifice, that only God's grace is going to bring good out of.  Again, don't think that I'm considering it some dire, terrible, moment - moving away happens to everybody at some point, it would have happened in some measure regardless of whichever seminary I did theology at, but for me, going as far away as Rome, I think, will be especially challenging.  

 I guess, what I'm trying to say here, is that I first thought that doing seminary in Rome would be completely wonderful, no sacrifices in sight - but I was wrong.  I still consider it a huge opportunity, and I'm sure it will be a wonderful, awesome, fun experience, and I know it will be spectacular to see everything over there, but I am now realizing that following ones vocation always brings one closer to the cross.  In a way, I'm glad, it means I'm on the right track - no pain, no gain; no cross, no Christ.  My aunt reminded me of this precise truth when she was here (and helping me go through the list of things I still need to pack) - every vocation - marriage, priesthood, religious life, single life - requires us to unite ourselves with Christ on the cross.  There is no resurrection, no victory, no heaven, without Calvary, without deciding to give up my wants, my petty pleasures, my sins, and instead allowing Christ's love to completely penetrate me.  Every vocation requires conversion, requires us becoming more like Christ (meaning being humble enough to accept death, even death on a cross), and I have found a tiny sliver of this truth in the otherwise fantastic chance I have received to be able to study in Rome.  I've been telling people over the past few months that I am both excited and scared to do my theology there, but in writing this post, I have realized that I'm not scared, I'm just excited.  Wait a second, you say, half this post was about how tough it's going to be for you to go over there, isn't that fear?  Well, no it's not, at least not any more.  Now, knowing full well that it could be tough to step on that plane (as well as the weeks that follow), I have realized that that small cross, that tiny sacrifice (in the big scheme of things) is a chance for me to follow Christ.  I feel better than ever about going to Rome because I feel like it won't just be an awesome experience, it will also be an experience that makes me a better man, a better (God willing) priest, and hopefully a saint.  It's not just an opportunity to see the world, it's an opportunity to increase my faith in God, to trust Him more, to become less attached to the passing things of this life.  

 I had prayed over the past month or so that God - in taking me away from my family and friends - could somehow allow me to love them more, and I'm starting to realize how He is doing that.  Certainly, I won't be able to hang out with them in the same way, but maybe I'll come back a slightly holier person (we can hope!), maybe I'll be reminded to pray for them more, maybe I'll better realize their connection to me in the mystical body of Christ?  It's a more mystical, hard to see, kind of love, but its a better, stronger, more divine way to love at the same time!

 Alright, so back to the present.  I have a few more days at home with the family - which I will use to pack up the last of my stuff (I sure hope it all fits in a suitcase) and spend some quality time with the family and in prayer - and then on Saturday, when everything gets done, I will head down to St. Louis for the afternoon/evening/night before boarding my plane from the airport there on Sunday morning at 9AM.  My flight goes to Newark, where I will wait around for several hours, and then - along with some 40 other new guys heading to the NAC - get on the plane for Rome at 5:15 PM.  After 8 and a half hours of flying (15-something hours on the clock), I will land in Rome!
Just what I needed...

Another update from the very annoying present: my computer just broke (best guess: the power jack, or charging sub-system, or maybe flux capacitor, fried itself), and is now heading across the country for repairs.  Thus, I won't have it for a while in Rome/Assisi.  So, while I hope to get some posts up here, and I really hope to keep Facebook and Flickr up to date on what's going on over there, it may not be as frequent as I'd like.  We'll see...  (God sure is good at making sure I'm detached from things - if anything, the money that I'm going to have to shell out to fix/replace things that I didn't want to fix or replace!)

 Your quick recap of this post:  God is wonderful!  He has given me a wonderful family, and fantastic friends, both of whom I will miss greatly in heading over to Rome.  But, that sacrifice, I am starting to see, is not just a trade-off that comes with studying abroad (a cost, for the benefit of seeing the world), it's also a very real opportunity to grow in love for Christ (as every moment is)!  Please send some prayers my way so that I can continue to realize that truth, and continue to grow more like Christ (I'll reciprocate!)
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Simplicity - Making Room for Christ, and His Cross, Over Everything Else

Well, I have been really busy lately...  3 weeks ago we went on a family vacation out to Washington State - spending time at both Mt. Rainier and Olympic National Parks (both incredibly beautiful and spanning everything from alpine mountains, snow covered peaks, rain forests, the ocean, tons of waterfalls, and so much more) and enjoying a lot of great hiking, eating, kayaking, relaxing, reading, and hanging-out.  It was an absolute blast, and we all had a spectacular time spending time with each other.  Then this last week, after being home for a day, I went over to Brute for the week for something called Brute Days, during which almost 40 young guys (!) from 7th grade and up, came and listened to talks, prayed in common, played sports, and chatted with us seminarians (of which I was happy to be one).  It was not only a great time, and reminded me of similar camps that I greatly enjoyed from years past, it also was an incredible spiritual experience for me personally.  I got to return to praying the divine office in common (something I found I missed from the last month of doing it on my own), and spend an hour in adoration each day (also something I missed), and on top of that all the talks we got were absolutely phenomenal (on the virtues especially important to the priest: charity, humility, simplicity, obedience, and chastity, as well as how the Eucharist is fundamental to, the foundation of, and the font from which all those virtues flow), as were the small-group conversations we had with the guys afterwards (so many great ideas on how to make those virtues concrete in our lives)!  It was wonderful!

This post, though, because typing something about all of that would take me a tremendous amount of time that I don't have (you know, packing for Rome, heading down to Alabama to visit my sister, and a few other little things are keeping me busy), will be about just one of those talks/virtues: simplicity.  

I guess I'll just start with the obvious.  Simplicity is the diocesan "version" of the first of the first of the evangelical virtues (poverty, chastity, obedience).  Basically, since diocesan priests can't take a vow of poverty - because they often don't live in community, and so, need to own things in order to do their "job" - they instead are expected to live a life of simplicity.  What does that mean? - The exact same thing it means for all the other virtues: putting Christ absolutely first.  If you think about it, all the virtues boil down to this incredibly simple task.  CCC 1803: "A virtue is an habitual and firm disposition to do the good. It allows the person not only to perform good acts, but to give the best of himself. The virtuous person tends toward the good with all his sensory and spiritual powers; he pursues the good and chooses it in concrete actions. The goal of a virtuous life is to become like God."  Simplicity and poverty, then, is directed specifically at the area of material, earthly, temporal stuff.  The reality is that we are surrounded, distracted, even bombarded, by things every day.  Stuff, gadgets, entertainment, possessions, fun, relaxation, adventures, whatever - most of the time these things aren't inherently bad/sinful, often times they can be good: when God created the material world, "He saw it was good" - but, these things can turn us away from God if we inordinately desire them, if we place them above God in our lives.  Simplicity is desiring everything as it truly is, God as the greatest good, and everything else as lesser-goods that can lead us to God, or give glory to God.  Like the other virtues, this is the basic orientation of oneself towards the good (which is God); it's "pointing" ourselves towards God above all else and habitually, constantly, continuously choosing to direct our hearts toward God, and not all those things that distract us from Him.

Now, simplicity, in real life, involves giving things up.  Again, it's not like everything around us is bad, quite the contrary, but all-too-often, because of the world (we live in a society that puts pleasure above everything), the flesh (we are weak - fancy term: concupiscence), and the devil (who wants to turn us away from God) we find ourselves overly attached to physical stuff, temporal pleasures, and worldly possessions.  Basically, we put these things above God in the ordering of our lives.  Nicer cars, bigger TVs, newer phones, fancier clothing, expensive vacations - these aren't necessarily bad things - but all-too-often we choose these things ahead of God.  We skip giving money to charity in order to buy that newer car, or we watch that TV instead of saying a daily rosary, or we spend time playing Angry Birds instead of talking with God or neighbor.  Examples abound, basically, our task, our challenge, is to order those things correctly.  To give our first-fruits to God - and then enjoy them ourselves, to force ourselves to spend that extra time in prayer - instead of on Facebook, to get rid of the clutter, and distractions, and attractions that lead us away from God - and choose Him.

It's incredibly hard!  I struggle with all these same things - which is probably why this talk, and this virtue, really resonated with me - but the fact is that if we put anything in front of God in our choices, decisions, actions, and lives in general, we aren't becoming virtuous, we won't learn to love God, and we can't become saints.  Christ promised us eternal happiness, but only if we pick up our cross now, tackle those things that keep us from following Him, and get to work accepting God into our hearts and lives.  It's pretty basic: if our lives are focused on something other than God, then we can't truly receive Christ into our hearts, where He wants to take up His dwelling and fill us with His love, joy, peace, and everything else good.  We just celebrated Corpus Christi - praising and thanking Christ for the gift of Himself that He gives us at every Mass - but, guess what, if we are attached to tons of other passing, unnecessary, and otherwise, non-eternal, things, then our hearts aren't fully ready to receive Him.  I'm not saying we are automatically in mortal sin or something, that requires a much more decisive turning away from God (grave matter, full knowledge, full consent - just to be precise), but until we are striving to clear everything away between us and God, there will be a disconnection - on our end - between us and Him. All the virtues involve the cross because all involve us trusting God more than ourselves, opening our hearts to Him, and not something else.  Simplicity, as well as poverty, is a habitual choice on our part to clear away the things that contaminate, or maybe just fill, our heart and soul, and make way for Christ to fill us with His own love and His own life.

All-Night Adoration during Brute Days
some of the best prayer that I have done (alright, He did it, not me) in a while!
Alright, time to get practical.  One of the other seminarians that was helping out with the retreat, and who I was very glad to be teamed up with (we were both leaders of group 1 - the crusaders), always reiterated to the guys that if they couldn't come up with some practical way to work on these virtues, daily, then most likely they wouldn't make much progress.  Face it, it's hard to habitually do anything, much less something that requires us to put our own (misguided) desires behind us, and instead choose Christ; something that requires us to give up worldly things, hoping for the heavenly things to come.  It's hard to have that insight from faith that allows us to give up momentary pleasures for the sake of eternal ones!  If we don't find a way to work on it every single day, then we aren't going to grow in virtue (remember: it's a habit).  So, how to work on simplicity:  First, pray.  Prayer is opening oneself up to God, and that is exactly what all the virtues require, including simplicity.  Turning ourselves towards God is only possible with His grace, and that grace only can come to the soul open to receiving it!  Furthermore, specifically in the area of simplicity, make it a practice to pray about purchases before you make them - trust me, it's harder to buy that electronic gadget (usually what I am interested in) if you pray about it and really discern whether it will lead you closer to God (of course, if it will, by all means, buy it - if you can afford it).  Second, examine your conscience.  I don't know about you, but I usually neglect this area of life when examining my conscience.  Yeah, I was angry, or I didn't pray, or I over-ate, but I rarely consider the times where I indulged too much in temporal things.  I rarely ask where did I get upset because I didn't get as nice of ___ as I wanted?  Or, when did I spend too much time on the computer?  Or, how did I put something before God today?  It's a big topic, and a tough one, but give it a go!  Third, give something up.  I've already covered prayer, and the second weapon in our spiritual arsenal, fasting can also be an aid to virtue - temperance probably more than simplicity - but the final thing: almsgiving, is directly aimed at increasing simplicity and a poverty of spirit (making room for Christ).  When we give something away - money, clothes, unnecessary belongings, whatever - we detach ourselves from it, and great blessings will certainly follow (an immediate one being a greater pleasure in the smaller - and more important - things, as well as a more intense love for Christ and awareness to His presence and will).  Not only will we be making more room for Christ in our lives, but we will also be uniting ourselves with His cross (in a tiny, little way), and showing love of our neighbor at the same time (which, Christ tells us, is love for Him) - you absolutely can't beat it!  So, choose some little way that you will increase your prayer life - seriously, say an extra Hail Mary every day, it doesn't have to be big, just not sporadic - redouble your diligence in examining your conscience - again, don't overdo it, just figure out where you are failing and resolve to do better tomorrow - and finally, figure out something to give away, or go without - again, not big, but do it every week, or month, or something! 

To conclude!  Christ promises us that "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven".  I can't think of a better goal than that: perfect happiness with God forever!  The difficulty, of course, is allowing God to make us poor in spirit.  He so wants to fill us with Himself - just look at the price He paid to enter our world!  But, He will only give us what we want! 

I've been recently graced with the instigation (that talk and retreat) and opportunity to really focus down on this particular virtue.  Going off to Rome means I have to carefully choose what I am taking with me, and that means simplifying my life, and getting rid (or at least leaving behind) a lot of stuff that has previously filled and constrained my heart.  Christ - I know - is directly challenging me to (literally) leave behind "houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or farms" for Him (Matthew 19:29) so that He can give me "many times as much, and [eventually] eternal life".   (Oh, also, my computer power-cord broke, which is one of the reasons I haven't blogged much, but it is also a chance to work on simplicity - thanks Lord!)

The virtue of simplicity - poverty in spirit - is a difficult and underestimated one, especially in our day and age which constantly emphasizes that wealth, prestige, and pleasure are the ultimate good (notice how that brings in the virtues of humility and temperance along with simplicity).  Our task - as much as the term is overused - is to live counter-culturally.  At Christ's time it was counter-cultural to follow Him, and it still is.  Christ doesn't move - He's always awaiting us at the foot of the cross - but our world is always trying to find away to the joy and love of Christ without approaching the cross.  Guess what, it isn't possible.  Thankfully, Christ gives us all the graces we need in order to brave that cross, to shed those things that pull us away from Him, to ignore, and stand up to, the world that wants us to try and find our own joy, our own love.  Christ, as for all the virtues, is the model of simplicity, our task is to emulate Him, to constantly work to accept His grace (especially from Holy Communion), and to turn our lives ever more fully over to Him.  The message isn't going to change, but will we?
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After the Ordination - Dinners, Volleyball, Candidacy, 1st Masses, Goodbye's - Entrusting Myself to God



Myself, After receiving a 1st blessing from Fr. Arisman
After the ordination on Saturday morning, I helped to “unset” the altar (put away chairs, take the sacred vessels back to the sacristy, etc.) and then divested from my cassock/surplice/collar (thank goodness – I could finally breathe!).  I got back into by suit/tie and went out into the nave of the cathedral and jumped in line to receive a first blessing from Fr. Seth Brown.  As it turned out, mom and dad were just a few people in front of me, so they joined me in the back of the line and I got to fill them in on what I had been up to over the past few days (Alex didn’t make it because he had the flu or something).  We talked a bit with the people around us (I introduced them to some of the other guys who had joined the line behind us) and then got a beautiful blessing from Fr. Seth.  Unfortunately, I don’t remember the words that he used because they were incredibly beautiful – in a simple, excited, loving, concerned way.  We then walked over to the other side of the cathedral and joined Fr. Steve Arisman’s line (which was considerably longer).  It also went pretty quickly, and again his blessing was incredibly touching.  For mom and dad he asked God to continue to bless them, showing in their love the love of the Trinity, and strengthening and enlivening their marriage.  For me he asked God to strengthen my vocation and form me into a good and holy priest.  Obviously, I am missing huge portions of these blessings – but overall there was a certain tenderness and profundity to them that your typical-old-blessing just usually doesn’t have – it was really cool!  After the blessings, we went down into the basement under the cathedral school and had a tasty little luncheon of sandwiches, pasta salad, and cake.  Mom and dad took off after several minutes and I joined the group of Bruté guys, who were hanging out with one of the priests of the diocese.  After another several minutes, with the party starting to disperse, our conversation also ended, and I caught a ride with Dcn. Stone back to the Villa Maria.  [picture of myself with newly ordained Fr. Steve Arisman]

Once back at the villa, pretty much everybody took a quick nap (myself included), and then around 5 PM most of the remaining guys (some had gone home) headed out to celebrate with the individual newly-ordained-priests.  I went to Fr. Seth’s reception/dinner which was at his parish about 45 minutes from the villa.  I rode with Jason again – why take two cars when you’re going the same place? – and we got there just in time for the small celebration.  Matching his personality perfectly, Fr. Seth’s “party” was extremely modest – with just a smattering of seminarians (some Springfield guys as well as friends of Seth’s from other dioceses) and his family and close friends.  Dinner was delicious: pork loin, rolls, salad, baked potatoes, green beans, and cake – and I spent the meal talking with a few of the other Bruté guys as well as some seminarians from Mundelein (from other dioceses).  It was a fun, quite, simple evening!  After the meal I said my congratulations to Fr. Brown again and he courteously asked about my plans for the summer – it was so like him: just quietly listening to my plans for the summer and wishing me luck.  He will make a phenomenal priest! 

Around 7:30 we took leave of Seth’s party, this time with a full car-load (some of the other guys piled into Dcn. Stone’s car to catch a ride over to Fr. Arisman’s party).  As we drove up to the K of C hall about 20 minutes later, I was bemused to hear music blasting.  I chuckled to think of how different Fr. Steve was from Fr. Seth.  As it turned out, the music was out behind the hall (which shared a building with a restaurant), so it wasn’t exactly for the celebration of an ordination, but it was still funny to compare the different between the two parties.  Though I wasn’t hungry at all, I got a small slice of pizza and some beer.  The pizza was great, the beer was, well beer, (it was my second beer since turning 21 and I am not at all used to the taste, so I can’t really stand the flavor yet).  Fr. Steve was wandering around greeting and talking to people and when he got to the Bruté table he quickly roped us into a game of volleyball with some kids who were present.  I wasn’t really feeling a game of volleyball – I had just ate, I was wearing dress pants, shirt, and tie, and I’m not any good at volleyball – but he convinced me (I am trying to push myself outside of my comfort zone and I knew that I’d enjoy it either way), so out we went.  It was a fun little game.  We played like the family plays tennis: if the ball is still moving it’s still in play J, so that made my mistakes less obvious and the game more fun.  However, after about 20 minutes of that we went back inside only to find that the Mundelein guys (from other dioceses) were interested in playing a game.  I was much more reticent to play this game – surely they would be more competitive – but again, I let myself get talked into it…  Again, though, it was a fun game!  I found that I wasn’t as bad as I thought (especially once I got the hang of hitting the ball with my palm, not punching it, and risked my clothing with a few dives to save the ball).  We played three games, had a blast, got all sweaty, and Bruté ended up winning!  We headed back inside, drove back to the villa, and went to bed – it was a long, exciting, blessed, sacred, fun, and awesome day!
The Cathedral before my admission to candidacy
The next morning, unlike everybody else, I woke up early (7 ish), took a shower, got dressed in suit/tie, said matins and lauds, had another tasty breakfast (fruit, cereal, cinnamon rolls, hash-browns, etc.), and then drove myself over to the cathedral for 10 AM Mass.  Most of the other guys weren’t going because they didn’t have to be there (only at the first Masses later that day), but I had to be there because that was the day chosen for me to receive/enter (don’t know the right terminology…) candidacy.  Usually this is a step that guys take once they get into upper seminary, but the NAC requires guys to have it before they arrive, so I was blessed to do it in the Cathedral in front of the bishop!  Candidacy is a further commitment, on the part of the seminarian, to continue his formation towards becoming a priest, and the further acceptance, on the part of the bishop and diocese, to accept and endorse the seminarian.  I had written a letter to the bishop a month before (or so) basically requesting that I be admitted and confirming my intention to continue on towards the priesthood.  It actually is a pretty big deal – about the closest that I’ll come to “signing on the dotted line” before getting ordained a deacon (I think).  Mass was completely typical, if you consider a Sunday Mass celebrated by the bishop at the cathedral typical, except for the simple ceremony after the homily in which I verbally made this commitment.  Dcn. Larry (who was “deaconing” the Mass), said something to the effect of “for the admission to candidacy, may Dominic Joseph Rankin come forward”, with a booming voice and I had to stand up, say “present”, and walk up into the sanctuary (from the first pew where I was attending Mass with mom and dad, who had come for the occasion).  Then the bishop said two questions to me:  “In response to the Lord’s call are you resolved to com­plete your preparation so that in due time you will be ready to be ordained for the ministry of the Church?” and “Are you resolved to prepare yourselves in mind and spirit to give faithful service to Christ the Lord and his body, the Church?” to which I responded “I am”.  It was a simple little moment, but I was actually listening to those questions (duh!) and it kind of hit me in that split second that I was committing myself to something huge.  Seminary, most of the time, is just one day on top of another – classes, serving, praying, eating, having fun, discerning, etc. – and it is all-too-rarely that I think of the immense calling that I am discerning and preparing.  I was so glad to “do” candidacy at the cathedral, but even more than that, I was glad to do it over this weekend where I had just seen Steve and Seth get ordained.  It filled me this excitement – I could be in their shoes in 4 short years! – but it also fills me with apprehension – will I be ready? Will I be capable?  It was the same questions that had shot through my mind the day before, but this time they were even more clear and obvious.  Gosh, the priesthood is an incredible calling, but it is also a supernatural one, I need to rely on God so much more, to love Him so much more, to follow Him so much more closely, and to be so much more dedicated to Him (and less attached to everything else…)  I love to listen to or read great homilies, and I usually am sort of thinking about how I can make my writing/speaking that cool, awesome, compelling, and enthusiastic, but the fact is that that kind of awesomeness and enthusiasm only comes from God.  It’s not that I can’t think of myself as humanly capable – those difficulties (speaking, writing, knowing, serving) can be learned, but if I’m to be a great priest the only way is going to be relying on, and totally loving, God.  Yeah, so I’ve got a lot of work to do, but more importantly, I have to let God do the working...  We also carried up the gifts (haven’t done that in a while), and otherwise Mass continued as usual – but I had a lot of thinking to do.

After Mass, to my surprise, Fr. Alford (now the vocation director if you didn’t already know) and Bishop Paprocki agreed to go out to breakfast with us.  Beforehand, I just invited some of the other “sems” to go out to breakfast, but Dcn. Stone was the only one there (and he had already had a big breakfast), so I just threw it out for the bishop and Fr. Alford, and – surprise! – they agreed.  We went to a nice restaurant inside of a hotel, which was totally empty (fine with me) and had some pretty tasty food.  It was cool to spend an hour or so talking with the bishop – about Rome, about running, other such things…  It was cool!

St. Agnes before Mass
After that mom and dad took off and I drove over to St. Agnes (Fr. Steve’s parish).  Fr. Arisman was going to have his first Mass there at 3 PM, and it was only 1 or so, but the extra time allowed me to scope things out and think about what serving would entail (a month or two ago he asked me to MC for his first Mass).  I was thrilled to be serving, especially as [assistant] MC, but I wasn’t terribly knowledgeable with the ins and outs of a first Mass, especially with the numbers of concelebrants and servers that would be showing up.  Thankfully, another seminarian from Denver (I think?), by the name of Luke had been chosen as head MC, so that took a lot of the pressure off of yours truly!  After saying mid-day prayer, and spending a few moments thanking Our Lord for the wonderful weekend that He had given me, I saw that Luke had arrived and so I went and began to work with him on planning everything out.  As I said, I was extremely thankful that he was there – not only was he more knowledgeable, but he was also much more prepared (he had handouts explaining all the positions, where people would be, which priests would do which part of the Eucharist Prayer, etc.).  We spent probably 30 minutes hashing things out between us and then I was tasked with trying to communicate what I knew with the servers who had arrived.  I kept running up against things that I didn’t know the answer to (when did we need the boat bearer, whether all the servers would fit on the altar, intricacies of the procession, etc.), but I just kept asking around or coming up with answers on the spot, and we got through most of the Mass for most of the guys.  I kind of ran out of time, so in the end I was just hoping that they knew what they were doing (maybe not the best assumption, but it worked out). 

During Mass
Mass was beautiful!  It began with an impressive procession - probably a dozen seminarians and at least 20 priests and deacons, with the (large) choir beginning the Mass with Ave Verum Corpus, Anima Christi, and then Go Up to the Altar of God - all phenomenal hymns.  Basically, everything was done in as awesome a manner as was possible (I was thrilled).  Also, I didn't have too much to worry about at this time (after showing the priests/deacons their places), so I could - for the most part - just sit there and enjoy it.  I did have to worry a bit about the Gospel procession - which could have gone smoother - but Dcn. Stone got to his place eventually, and things worked out in the end.   Fr. House's homily (often at their first Mass a newly ordained priest chooses another priest to give the homily) - about obedience, and how it is a crucial part if every Christian's life (and isn't just submission, but is also our emulation of Christ, and His love - sorry, I was distracted at the time and it has been two weeks since then, so I don't remember the rest of the excellent homily).  For the Liturgy of the Eucharist, I had a few more things to worry about - making sure everything was carried over to the altar, the thurifur was at hand, and guys knew when to make their moves, etc.  They all pretty much knew what was going on (and Luke was keeping a better eye on things than I was), so everything was completed well enough (there was a little bit of a struggle during the Eucharistic Prayer, when I was unable to direct the priests correctly and the candles/thirifur left their places too early, but neither were disasters by any means, and most everything else went along as planned).  Before Mass ended, Fr. Arisman spent a long time thanking all the many people that had helped him throughout his life, and also - in a beautiful ceremony - he gave his maniturgium (the cloth that wrapped his hands after being ordained/anointed) to his mother, his first stole to his father, and also placed a banquet of roses at the altar of Our Lady - consecrating his priesthood to her.  They were all beautiful, profound, moments, and well worth the additional length that they added to the Mass.  Fr. Arisman gave the final blessing and everyone processed out to the triumphant O God, Beyond all Praising.  It was a beautiful - if long and complicated - Mass, and I was humbled and honored to have MC'ed for Fr. Steve.  I was again inspired with enthusiasm for the end-goal which I am aiming towards (priesthood).  Yeah, it was just really, really cool!

After Mass I stuck around for the dinner served to everyone afterwards.  I sat with a bunch of other guys from Brute, and we sat and chatted waiting for the meal to begin (as well as during the meal).  I was glad to be able to catch up with them for a little while, because - for most of us - after that afternoon we would each be heading off to summer jobs/assignments (Totus Tuus, Peru, me: Rome).  Obviously, those are all good things, but - for me at least - it was a hard moment because I don't know when I'll get to see those guys again.  Anyway, it was a fun evening, I said my goodbyes to everybody, and then headed for home.  

I guess it's hard to put into words the awesomeness of the entire weekend.  I obviously had a blast hanging out with all my diocesan brothers, as well as the other seminarians visiting from other dioceses.  I also sincerely enjoyed all the beautiful (and spectacular) Masses that I had the chance to serve at (in positions that put me right in the middle of the "action").  But most of all, I guess, I was truly reinvigorated in discerning my vocation, in putting myself out there for God, in sticking through the (sometimes) hard times.  Gosh, being there when those guys - my friends - were ordained, when they gave their first blessings, when they said their first Mass; it was extraordinary, their joy, their excitement, their enthusiasm - the graces of Holy Orders were evident!  I was not only inspired by them, their commitment, their happiness, but even more by the love and inspiration that was flowing through them.  More and more, in seminary, I have come to realize that it is only through God's help that being a priest is even possible, but over that weekend I saw - I was reminded - that God will provide that grace.  The transformation that I saw in Fr. Seth and Steve is evidence of Our Lord's incredible love for them, and the incredible life that He has called them to.  Yes, for me, things are a bit scary - I don't know how easy it will be to move over to Rome, I don't know if I'll be ready for ordination in (God willing) 4 short years, I don't know if I have what it takes to give myself totally to God, to be obedient (life Fr. House was talking), to make myself prepared to become a priest (as the Bishop asked me), and on and on...  But, that weekend not only made me more enthusiastic and excited about continuing on the path that I am on, it also reminded me of the immensity of God's grace, of the incredible things that happen when you put your life in His hands.  

Yep, life is good!
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