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Stretching Myself
Ever since I entered seminary, I have found that I have been "stretching myself" in the (good) sense of growing and pushing my comfort zone. Well, this morning I had yet another chance to do this.
One of the guys couldn't be here today, and since it was his day to lead the divine office, he asked me to fill in for him. Of course, I said sure, and then remembered that I hadn't ever done it before. (I think I did morning prayer one time in the context of Mass where it is a bit simpler). Anyway, so this morning, since it is Sunday, we do morning prayer before Mass, so I had to get up in front of everybody (gulp), and lead the angelus (I'm glad I had a card) the opening hymn (thankfully I knew it), the psalms (easy), the canticle (chanted), the Our Father (not hard), and whatever parts I forgot to mention (all in all pretty nervous 10 minutes). I pulled it off, didn't wreck the chanting, didn't miss anything, and feel much better about doing it in the future.
Of course, that wasn't the end of my morning. This was also the first time I have cantored on Sunday. I guess it's kind of ironic that the guy in charge of the cantors hasn't done Sunday Mass yet, but I just wasn't scheduled to do it last semester. On a typical weekday all you have to do as a cantor is start the opening hymn and sing the Alleluia (Praise to You Lord Jesus Christ Kind of endless glory in lent) with the gospel acclimation - in other words, typically not hard. However, this Sunday I had to do the opening hymn (thankfully, with the organ because I didn't really know the song), and then the dreaded Responsorial Psalm. This is what I was really worried about; you all know the drill, the cantor chants/sings the responsorial and the congregation follows and then the cantor moves on by chanting/singing the verses, for lack of a better word, of the psalm. It is totally a-capella, ie: no organ, so I had to learn (and remember!) how to do the chanting. Of course, looking back it was pretty simple, but at the time I was pretty nervous. Well, Mass wasn't over yet, but it was all reasonably easy from there on. The schola did the song at the offertory and the hymn during Communion, so that was easy. I did have to do the sanctus, mysterium fidei, and agnus dei, but other than these being in Latin they were pretty simple (I again had the organ, so that helped). Then it was just the closing hymn and I was done.
Dreading would be too strong of a word to describe how I was feeling about this morning, but I definitely was nervous. Thankfully, each time I do a new thing (and thank goodness don't mess it up) gives me more experience and greater confidence in the future. Great times!
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