Open Wide the Doors for Christ!

Welcome to Advent (a couple of weeks late)!  Here at the NAC we just had our annual Christmas party (basically, a fun meal - accompanied by the 3rd year guys providing music and cookies followed by a free-night in the lounge - think ice-cream, beer, and some of the guys composing a band, all surrounded by the completion of all the Christmas decorations around the NAC - think lights, and snowmen, and banners, and guys-dressed-up-as-elves all over the place).  However, despite all these festivities, and entering the last week of classes before break, and seeing lights and trees going up all over the eternal city, we are still in Advent, and that is a good thing! 

Here's why:  Advent is meant to be a time when we get prepared for the coming of Christ.  Obvious right?  Well, St. Bernard reminds us that this isn't as obvious, or as easy, as we'd think. 

"there are three comings of the Lord.  The third lies between the other two.  It is invisible, while the other two are visible.  In the first coming he was seen on earth, dwelling among men; he himself testifies that they saw him and hated him.  In the final coming all flesh will see the salvation of our God, and they will look on him whom they pierced.  The intermediate coming is a hidden one; in it only the elect see the Lord within their own selves, and they are saved.  In his first coming our Lord came in our flesh and in our weakness; in this middle coming he comes in spirit and in power; in the final coming he will be seen in glory and majesty." 

The Church divides the liturgy of Advent into two halves: the first 2 or so weeks of Advent emphasizing, in the readings at Mass and Liturgy of the Hours, the second coming of Christ (at the end of time, to judge the world) and the last 2 weeks of Advent emphasize the first coming of Christ (in the Incarnation, to save the world).  However, while these are incredibly important things to meditate on - God becoming man, yep, pretty world-changing; the end of the universe, again, pretty big deal - often in celebrating Christ's coming 2000 years ago, or getting excited about His coming in the future, we forget that He wants to enter our hearts and lives every day, right now.  Bernard continues:

"Listen to what our Lord himself says: If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him. There is another passage of Scripture which reads: He who fears God will do good, but something further has been said about the one who loves, that is, that he will keep God's word.  Where is God's word to be kept?  Obviously in the heart, as the prophet says: I have hidden your words in my heart, so that I may not sin against you.  Keep God's word in this way.  Let it enter into your very being, let it take possession of your desires and your whole way of life ... If you keep the word of God in this way, it will also keep you.  The Son with the Father will come to you." 

So, our goal this Advent has to be to truly prepare ourselves for Christ's coming - not only by considering the Incarnation, recognizing the incredible love that Jesus humbly shows us at Bethlehem, and not only in making sure we'll be ready when Christ comes in glory - but even more immediately, in being ready for Him to enter our hearts now, at this moment, in the Eucharist, in the Scriptures, in those we meet. 

I was listening to a homily by Fr. Michael Schmitz and he recounted how he had been struck by a quote which read something like "do I desire to love God as much as He can be loved?"  That's a question that we all need to ask ourselves (and I've been asking myself these last few weeks).  Do I desire, do I strive, do I pray, to have the grace, strength, conversion-of-heart, fervor, and everything else, to love God, as much as He can be loved.  The fact is that we are created to love God, and only in loving Him will we find true fulfillment.  No amount of Christmas cookies, the latest technological gizmo, going out to eat, watching movies, plush cars, honors, or even friends will fill our hearts because they have been created for something more, for something infinite, for someone (God) to fill.

However, here we can fall into another trap: trying to fill ourselves with God.  It's tempting to think that if we pray enough, or read enough theology, or kneel stoically enough, or fast arduously enough, that we will turn ourselves into saints and - boom - live happily ever after (with God dwelling within us).  The problem: praying, studying, kneeling, and fasting aren't any good if we're doing them out of our own pride (thinking ourselves better than others, or thinking that we're now deserving of God).  Sanctity, holiness, grace, divine-love, Christ dwelling within us - it's all a complete gift of God.  We can't deserve it; we can't earn it; we can't "steal" it.  We can only accept it.

I am a "doer", I'm that guy that thinks that if I fit in another holy hour, or pray that extra devotion, or read some extra book, or make another sacrifice, then I'm making myself a saint, but while all those things are great, they aren't the most important.  Martha was a doer, she was, I'm sure, running around making a delicious meal for Jesus, but Mary, who isn't doing anything, just sitting at Our Lord's feet, is the one who has chosen the "better part".  Samuel, in the Old Testament, gives us an example as well, responding to God, "speak, Lord, your servant is listening".  We, this Advent, need to have this mentality.  Before we start doing something, we need to  allow Christ to do the doing within us.  We can't fill ourselves with His love, only He can.  Certainly, we must be attentive, we must be listening, but - above all else - we must simply be open to God, and not filled with our own desires, plans, goals, or ideas.  St. Bernard has this in mind when he exhorts us to "let [God] take possession of your desires and your whole way of life".  Our job isn't  so much to go bulldozing through our life, making room for Christ, how we think we should, but instead we should simply surrender to His will, in each and every moment, and allow Him to make room within us for His love. 

Some days things don't happen the way we want them too - so many times I get to the end of the day and I think "gosh, I didn't get as much done as I wanted to today".  But this is my own idea of a productive day, God simply wants me to get to the end of the day and ask if I loved God as much as I could that day.  He doesn't ask for efficiency, but charity, not production, but love.  Blessed Mother Theresa was quoted saying "do little things with great love".  It's a quote we've all heard before, but do we follow it?  Are we willing to be so humble as to accept whatever God - in His providence - has planned for us today, and simply trust that He will give us the grace necessary to do it in the loving way that He wants.  Are we willing to surrender to such an extent that we allow Christ to come to us, and not try to force our way to Him? 

In His coming at Bethlehem Christ emphasizes humility.  In His middle coming into our heart - whether through sacrament, scripture, or neighbor - He also emphasizes humility.  Christ humbles Himself completely in order to come with us, are we willing to stoop low enough to enter that stable with Him - to leave behind our own ideas, plans, or whatever, and simply kneel there in His presence?  Are we willing to be like Joseph, silent before the Christ child, simply gazing upon God's incarnate love?  Are we willing to be like Mary, staying the night in a stable because nobody else cared?  Are we willing to round up our sheep, tossing out our own plans, like the shepherds, and tromp into Bethlehem to bow before our infant king?  Are we willing to pack up our treasures and sit on a camel for a month, to just catch a glimpse of Jesus?  All the figures we see didn't really do something to earn God's coming to them, they were just ready to obey when God announced it to them.  We too, during this advent, aren't so much called to do something, as we are called to willing do whatever God places before us. 

For me, that means studying Hebrew (one of my classes this semester) - not exactly my favorite past-time - is more important than doing something different where I think I will encounter God.  Praying the Office - even when I think it gets repetitive, or boring, or tiring - is a better prayer than whatever devotion resonates with me this week.  You get the picture, following God's plan is more important that following our own plan.  Why?  Because God can only enter the humble heart.  The heart filled with its own plans, ideas, or pseudo-holiness, doesn't have any room for God.  Advent isn't for replacing our old attachments with new, better, ones, it's for emptying our hearts of our own attachments completely and letting God fill us.  Back to the analogy of listening: we aren't supposed to start pumping new, better, music through our ears, but to stop filling our ears with any noise and just allow God to speak. 

Is this hard?  You better believe it!  Stepping back, accepting everything as an opportunity to follow God's will, listening, surrendering - all these things mean coming out of ourselves and dying to self.  You have no idea (ok, maybe some of you do) how hard it is for me to kneel there during a holy hour and not pick up a book to read.  I want to do something, I feel like I am so distracted when I'm just there, doing nothing, in the presence of God.  But God so often comes quietly, humbly, simply.  2000 years ago, God came - not as a mighty, world-conquering, evil-pulverizing, divine king - but as a child, a weak, helpless, approachable, little baby.  And, today, He enters our hearts in the same way - in silence, in stillness, tenderly knocking and asking if He can enter. 

Do you desire to love God as much as He can possibly be loved?  That's the question this post began with, and hopefully that is the question that it ends with.  Christ comes to bring us love, to unite us with God, to restore us to the original union He had planned for us since the beginning.  Advent is a time of preparation, not in the sense of packing up our stuff and asking God where He wants to send us, but in leaving our stuff behind and watching Our Lord, to follow the path He takes before us - the path of humility, love, and obedience.  May we pray, with Our Lady, that God's will be done, in us, according to His word - not expecting, or predicting, or presuming, what God wants us to do, but allowing His will to unfold before us and accepting whatever it might be with His gratitude, enthusiasm, joy, and love.  Not filling ourselves with our own love - whatever that might mean - but simply remaining open to God filling us with His love, and stretching us to hold more of His love, throughout every day.  Not doing something to try and bring Christ to us, but just being ready to receive Him when He comes.

As you may have noticed, I haven't been particularly on top of the whole blogging thing for a few weeks.  Now, I had a good excuse last week, it was finals week - that's understandable - but why no posts this week (other than videos)?  Well, as always, I've been busy.  I really have wanted to get some posts written (I enjoy doing it), but life has just been non-stop lately.

I really was assuming that I would have a good bit of time to relax and get some good spiritual reading done over Christmas break.  I have large (and growing) stack of books that I want to read and I got through very few of them this past semester because I was kept busy by a hard course load, not to mention the other seminary obligations, and just spending time doing things with the other guys.  Anyway, I figured that once I got home I would have a week or two to really crack down on Advent, get some serious reading/prayer time in and adequately prepare myself for Christmas.  Well, that hasn't happened yet.  Anyway, here's a few of the things that happened to me this week...  (I'm also working on a more faith-oriented post, but that will have to come a bit later.)

Terrible at the beginning

Last Friday I filled my day helping out around Brute (they were about to have an open house), packing everything I wanted to take home (always takes longer than I expect), and doing a little bit of ice-skating with a few guys (which is fun, but a bit freaky considering I never figured out how to stop).  Early Saturday morning I went to Mass and pretty shortly afterwards threw my stuff in the car and started towards home.  As forecasted, about 6 inches of snow had fallen the night before, so the highways were absolutely horrible.  I was hoping that they would be cleared off by the time I got going, but they were anything but clean.  The snow had softened on the pavement, only to refreeze into a slippery, dangerous, frozen slush.  Along with that, I couldn't see half the time because snow was streaming down and whenever I got behind someone it was just a cloud of slush that even turbo mode on the wipers couldn't fix it was probably the worst road conditions I had ever driven in and there were way too many moments where I was legitimately doubting how much control I had over the car.

beautiful at the end!

Thankfully (and showing, once again, just how awesome of a guardian angel I have), I didn't get stuck in a ditch anywhere or slide into any other cars (but it was pretty close a few times)...   Anyway, it was only really bad for the just the first 100 miles or so.  Once I got past Springfield it was much better and I finally started appreciating the beauty of the snow covered landscape.  Actually, it was quite stunning - everything was covered in a fresh layer of snow and all the intricate branches of the trees were outlined with a thin layer of snow - it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

I got home around 4 PM and found that Dad and my younger brother, Alex, were over at Church building a outdoor crèche so that we could have a nativity scene outside.  Mom said they had been working on it all day and apparently weren't going to finish it that evening.  I was a little incredulous that a simple stable would take hours and hours, but I decided to head over there and see what was going on.  Anyway, to finish off the rest of the story, this project was much, much bigger than I had imagined it and the skeleton that I found constructed in the basement of the hall was nearly 10 feet on each side and poking up into the ceiling (it's a dropped-ceiling, so they had removed some of the tiles so that it would fit.)  As it turned out, it was quite the project because it had to be fully able to be disassembled into several pieces so that it could be reused, so they had two platforms bolted together for the base, 4 different wall pieces (in varying states of completion), three of which would have glass once they were finished, and the back one which would be solid wood, 4 trusses to hook onto the walls and hold the roof panels.  

the semi-finished creche

Now complete, as it appears at night

Needless to say, it was a much bigger project than I had anticipated, so I lent a hand that evening, and several more evenings that week, to hash out how everything would go together, assemble it, and slowly figure out each section by repeating that process.  Finally, this morning we took the (now disassembled) stable-thing out of the basement, across the iced over parking lot, and assembled it in front of the Church/rectory.  I again underestimated the time it would take to get everything put together and the complications that we would run into (apparently, once you take something like that apart it is difficult to put everything back the way you had it, and then you get a piece almost in place only to be unable to fit that last bolt in place...)  It was drizzling and 30ish the entire time, so that was a bit miserable, but we did eventually get it together, so it was all worth it.  I'm glad I was able to help, I haven't been able to do projects like that in a while.  Good times!

In a funny twist of scheduling I have had an unprecedented number of appointments this week.  On Tuesday it was a physical (those are always enjoyable...), on Wednesday it was the dentist (one more appointment and hopefully I'll have the final implant to replace a tooth I knocked out on my bike almost a decade ago...), on Thursday it was the dentist (a different one, this time to just get a cleaning), on Friday it was for an EKG (the doctor on Tuesday thought he heard a heart murmur...), and an eye appointment (no glaucoma, retina in good shape, lens prescription hasn't changed - basically, my eyes haven't changed at all...)  I usually don't have that variety of different health-oriented checkups in a year, much less a week.  Oh well, I guess I'm just blessed, or something like that...

Gosh, there was so much else that went on this week.  So, in my usual style I think I will rattle them all off really quickly (only stopping to throw details within an absurdly long, but hopefully enlightening, set of parentheses).  I wrote Christmas cards to my family (the first time I have done that, to update them all on what's up in my life and wish them a particularly wonderful, peaceful, and blessed Christmas).  I went to the Monday-evening meeting of the Junior Legion of Mary (I was a member for years before becoming the president of the small group a few years back.  It was a fun time, I always love to drop in when I can to see how they are all doing and enjoy the beautiful mission of the legion - do the work of the Church with and through Our Blessed Mother)  On Monday evening I went with the family and both priests from St. Rose to The Hobbit - The Desolation of Smaug (It was a good movie, though I'll have to think about it a bit more before giving it my final review)  On Wednesday night I went over to Church where Father gave a short talk on Matthew 25-26 before watching the DVD lecture on that same topic by Jeff Cavins.  (It was about Jesus' apocalyptic words covering the end of the temple/world, hopefully I'll be able to work that into a post in a few days...)  On Thursday, I went to Exposition for an hour (which was peaceful and really, really "productive") and then a talk by some theology professors from Quincy University at St. Peter's on humility and love (both were fantastic talks, if I can remember enough details, those will also get wrapped into my post-of-the-future).  I finished polishing up some bits of my senior seminar paper (the professor asked me to get it a bit more finished over Christmas break, which was good because there was some spots that I just wasn't quite happy with).  I wrote a letter to my sister (wishing her a merry Christmas and updating her on what has happened since my last letter around Thanksgiving).  I worked out a time or two (the treadmill is as boring as ever, but I just couldn't force myself to go outside...)  Finally, to end this long monologue, we are just now driving back from some friends who just got their house built, having enjoyed a wonderful evening and delicious dinner, and were lucky/blessed to have relatively good roads despite the ice storm that went through today).  That, I think, is almost everything that has happened this week - I am sure I missed something, but I wanted to get some sort of update out about what happens once I go on break (hint: in this case "break" would be used in the equivocal sense, in other words, not really a break at all).  Nevertheless, I am enjoying myself, getting a little more sleep than I did last week, and otherwise having a great time.  We'll see if I can get any time to do some preparing for Christmas. 

I hope you all have a wonderful last few days before Christmas! 

Today the second movie for The Hobbit opens, and so, here's a fantastic video from Life on the Rock talking about the Catholic undertones in The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit.  Man, it is so interesting! 

 

Well, after staying up until (almost) 4AM yesterday, I finally got my metaphysics paper done and turned it in yesterday afternoon (it was a great feeling!).  I think the paper turned out pretty good in the end.  Earlier this week I was spending pretty much all my free time on that paper and it just wasn't coming together how I wanted it to.  I was talking about teleology (that things, particularly humans, have ends, in our case, happiness in God) and this allows morality/ethics to exist.  Basically, without teleology, everybody has to figure out their own end (power, money, pleasure, work, whatever), and for this reason (along with some other logical/metaphysical reasons) teleology must exist and ethics must be based on it.  It was a really cool paper and unfortunately this summary doesn't do the topic justice (my paper didn't either I imagine), but I am really glad that I finally found the sources that I needed to finish the paper off. 

 

I still have to finish up the senior seminar paper, something that I will work on for the next hour or so before meeting with Dr. Denz (the professor for that class).  Hopefully he's happy with my (very) rough draft that I gave him a few weeks back. 

 

Next week I have all the typical finals - Monday: calculus and moral issues (neither will be easy, but shouldn't be impossible either), Tuesday: Augustine and Aquinas (again, it'll take studying, but I'll be ready), Wednesday: senior seminar and psychology (senior sem. is a take-home, but will probably be one of my hardest finals, psychology is a presentation and should be easy), and Thursday: metaphysics (tough, but should go alright).  I am very glad that my finals are spaced out over the week - usually I'd want to get them done as quickly as possible, but all my classes are tough this semester, so I am glad that I should have enough time to study before each one.

 

the holly tree in Brute's courtyard

Of course, the fun doesn't stop just because everybody is getting ready for finals!  This afternoon we are going to play some football (in the snow!), and (recap from the previous post) this evening we have the first-ever Brute talent show.  The Springfield guys will be doing something, and there are a bunch of other guys who will be showing off as well.  It should be awesome!  Tomorrow there are a bunch of us going caroling at a Catholic nursing home (actually the same one that Ray and I have for our ministry) - it was a blast last year, and this year, I'm sure, won't be any different.   On Sunday evening I'm going with some guys to Cincinnati for "lessons and carols", which is some sort of Advent/Christmas concert put on by the seminary up there.

 

Fr. Joe said something quite profound in his homily this morning.  He said that Advent is a time to deepen our faith and, like the blind men in the Gospel this morning, ask Jesus to heal the places within our soul that are broken, hurt, warped, or suffering.  This same faith must then give us the insight to see our life (physically and spiritually) as it really is, a gift from God, and then give our lives back to God.  To cultivate those talents, abilities, and blessings that we have been given, and use them for the greater glory of God and the good of all His creation.  Obviously, my summary is lacking the awesomeness and persuasion that father included in his homily, but my brain is a bit fried from the past few days...

 

I hope you have all had a good (almost) first week of Advent.  I hope to get back to blogging more frequently once I knock out these finals.  May the mercy and love of the Sacred Heart enflame you with His joy, peace, love, and energy on this first Friday, especially in this beautiful season of Advent.

Oh, happy feast of St. Nicholas!

Also, I'm going to post some videos that I've found during this week (they're cool and I won't have time to post something more substantial...)

As with most of my post during the last few weeks of a semester, this will be short.

 

Advent is wonderful.  The readings and psalms are so beautiful in the breviary every day, it is so awesome to read everything in light of the coming of Christ into the world (in Bethlehem, at every Mass, and at the end of time), even the old, familiar things that I say every day take on a new, profound meaning.

 

The metaphysics paper is slowly coming together (meaning I'm a few pages into it, but it isn't by any means in my head yet).  I am really hopeful to get a bunch done tomorrow, but my hopes weren't very accurate today, so we'll see...

 

I'm tired.  Gosh, I thought that the last weekend would push me into the final stretch with tons of energy and enthusiasm, but I am starting to feel the pressure of the end of the semester.  I've got a few things left this week (metaphysics paper being the biggest, but also a psychology test and the senior seminar paper).  Next week should be even more fun, I have 2 finals on Monday (psychology should be easy, calculus will be more challenging), 1 on Tuesday (Augustine and Aquinas, shouldn't be bad if I study enough), 1 on Tuesday/Wednesday (it's the senior seminar take-home, which should be long, tough, and cover plenty of material that I haven't seen yet...), 1 on Wednesday (moral issues, shouldn't be bad.), and 1 on Thursday (metaphysics, should be hard, but I will have time to study, so that's good).  There you have it, the negatives...

 

How about some positives?  I had a fun time this evening going out to celebrate one of the guy's 21st birthday.  I'm not 21, so I didn't participate in any drinking, but it was a fun meal anyway, and a good break from the philosophizing.  On Wednesday we will celebrate the annual Brute Christmas (basically a good meal and a fun time giving each other presents.  On Friday I'll be done with the papers!, and we are also having the first ever Brute talent show - should be quite the evening!  On Saturday I will be going out caroling with a bunch of other guys.  We are going the same place that Ray and I go for our ministry (a Catholic nursing home), so that is cool too!  On Sunday, I'm going over to Cincinnati for a Christmas concert of some sort put on by the seminary over there (Mount St. Mary's of the West).  Basically, the next week will be daunting and awesome!

 

On that note, I'm going to get a decent night's sleep - I feel like I need it right now.  Hopefully the run that I'm going on with a few other guys tomorrow will galvanize me for the rest of the semester.  I'm usually not the guy that wants the semester to be over, I have so much fun and grow so much while here, but this semester has been pretty tough.  Hmmm.  This post isn't overly positive, sorry about that - it's late, I'm tired, and I guess the school work is getting to me...

 

Good Night, I hope that your Advent is a blessed as mine!