Showing posts with label Awesome. Show all posts

Legion of Mary, in St. Peter's Square!

In your second semester at the NAC you get assigned an apostolate, which usually involves some kind of work in the fields of evangelization or charitable work.  Options are as varied as working with the Missionaries of Charity to feed the poor, to teaching students catechism, to giving tours of St. Peters, to - and this is the one I am blessed to be a part of - evangelizing pilgrims in St. Peter's square as part of the Legion of Mary.  Lets just say, it's an amazing apostolate!

Like any other Legion group (it is a worldwide organization, with "Legions" of Mary at Parishes all over the place), the 10 or so of us meet once a week and pray the rosary, read out of the hand-book (both devotional, speaking about the beauty of emulating and following Our Lady, and practical, as in, how to do that out in the world when trying to evangelize), and go through the reports of what all the members did over the past week.  In our case, the work we do doing during the week is always evangelizing down in St. Peter's Square.  We go out in pairs, for about 2 hours, and just make ourselves available to whoever wants to talk with us during the time.  So, I've been out a handful of times now (I started at the beginning of this semester), with a couple of different guys, and it has had a profound effect on my approach to evangelization, my confidence in approaching and conversing with strangers, and my excitement for the priesthood.  

Regarding evangelization, two factors have made this apostolate a fantastic chance to learn how to take the Gospel out to the world.  Firstly, the other guys that I've been going down there with are great examples - they're zealous, loving, excited, patient, knowledgable, and approachable - and they've taught me a lot about how to jump into a conversation with a random pilgrim in the Square.  I found myself prone to sort of dismiss those who just wanted directions to the Vatican Museum or the times for Masses in St. Peter's; it was easy just to give them the info and send them on their way.  But, as the other guys showed me, evangelization often begins with the most humble of openings - just ask them how they liked St. Peters, or how long they've been in Rome, or where they are from, and boom, things happen.  Like the lady we encountered asking where to buy rosaries - simple, I thought, head down the Borgo Pio and you're set - but instead we started to talk with her, and she started talking about her kids, the trip she was currently taking with her husband, and asking about our vocations and what we were doing in Rome.  We ended up inviting her to the NAC for Evening Prayer, went out for dinner afterwards, and it turned into a profound conversion experience for her and her husband who hadn't been to church in years!  Factor number two: a lot more people have questions about the Church and the faith, than I would have thought.  I guess I figured that most people wandering in and around St. Peters would be Catholics, or at least Christians, coming to the center of Christ's church here on earth.  But, that is not the case at all.  Sure, there are many, many pilgrims who don't have questions about the faith, but an awful lot do!  Is Pope Francis changing the Church's teaching on marriage, abortion, etc? (answer: nope - Jesus taught otherwise.)  Will we have female priests? (answer: nope - Jesus chose otherwise.)  Why are the churches so lavish, yet there are poor people all around? (answer: love of the poor has to be integrated with love of God, beautiful churches aren't antithetical to caring for the poor), Why is Peter this important? (answer: Christ chose him to lead His church, as He chooses every Pope to continue being his vicar until His return).  

The Fountains are Flowing Again!
(they are especially beautiful at night, lit up from below)
Obviously, conversations have gotten a lot deeper than that, and I don't want to leave you with the wrong emphasis by my summary of conversations that we've had.  I've learned that above all it's important to not go into a situation with the idea to argue the person out from their error to the truth.  Yes, apologetics plays a role in the conversations - that's part of proclaiming the truth - but, possibly just as important, is exuding the joy and excitement that comes from following Christ.  People don't like an argument, even if it's convincing, they do like happiness.  Christ offers both: truth and joy, and they do go together, but a glum, argumentative, seminarian doesn't change anybody's life, whereas a person who is excited about the truth does!  (Obviously, with God's help.  That example I gave above truly made me realize this.  I said very little during the multi-hour conversation, yet, somehow, God was able to work through our presence to bring Himself to this couple.)  Being "confident" doesn't mean being macho, and off-putting, it means being willing to share the faith, the relationship with Christ, that I have been blessed to have.  It means showing just how amazing life is when you give it over to Him.  Yep, there are crosses - classes are hard, I don't have enough time to do everything I want (hmmm. maybe it's not all about me...), I'm not perfect, I'm far from home - the cross is part of following Our Lord, but there are so many more blessings!  The chance to be 5 minutes from the Vatican, to play soccer in sight of the dome of St. Peters, to travel around Europe, to delve into the mysteries of the faith, to walk past a dozen beautiful, ancient, saint-filled, churches on the way to class every morning, to start every day with Mass, and spend a couple hours talking with God every day - it's awesome!  Does following Christ automatically mean fun travels and great classes? No. But it does mean fulfillment, the peace of knowing that every moment - good, bad, easy, hard, boring, or busy - is a gift from Him, a gentle reminder to turn to Him and be thankful for His love.  It is challenging, but it is rewarding, and the world doesn't know that those things can go together (they can!)  Evangelization isn't faux-confident, overbearing, pounding-in-the-truths-of-the-faith, arguments; no, it's about living ones life according to Christ and thereby showing just how amazing that is.  This is what the early Christians did (above all in their willingness to die for their faith, confident in Christ and peaceful in knowing that eternal life awaited those who turned their lives over to Him), and they transformed the world!

Last point: Being down there, in the collar, bringing the faith to those traveling through Rome, has made me ever more excited to one day, God willing, be a priest.  Gosh, ordination could be only 3 years away at this point - that's crazy (as in, time is flying by), but it's also exciting!  I can't wait to get back to my diocese and minister to the people there, bringing them the faith that I've experienced here in Rome, the sacraments, an amazing opportunity to encounter our all-loving God, and the inspiration of so many faithful that I've encountered here (that's something that I didn't even talk about in this post, as well as devotion to Mary...  Ah well, it can't be a dissertation.)

So yeah, it's an amazing apostolate and I am so glad that it was the one chosen for me!  So much to learn, so much to see, so much to do - all from, and for, Christ!
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Serving for the Pope II - God's Generosity

This is a write-up I did for the Quincy Herald Whig about a month ago (they surprised me by requesting a reflection on my opportunity to serve for the Pope, so I wrote this up for them).  They published it back then in part, but here is the entire reflection (kind of a different angle than my previous post about the Mass).  In other news, I finished my oral final in Fundamental Theology, which went really well - as far as I could tell - even though I ended up taking it in Italian, as well as the one in Hebrew, which also went well (good to be done with a couple more!)  Christology is tomorrow, and is said to be one of the harder ones, so I'll be studying a good bit today and praying tomorrow!
 
“The patience of God” – God’s immense love and generosity towards us – was a point that Pope Francis returned to again and again during his homily for Christmas. It was also the idea that was running through my mind as I knelt there – in Rome, in St. Peter’s Basilica, in the first row of chairs behind Bernini’s immense baldacchino, serving Christmas Mass for the pope,– as the Holy Father pronounced the words of consecration, “This is my body… This is my blood…”, repeating the words that Our Lord pronounced so long ago, transforming, as Jesus promised, the host into Our Lord’s body, and the wine into His blood. It was an incredible moment!

Before my eyes flashed past the last several years of my life. My moving from being homeschooled, to attending community college in Quincy, to finally getting up the gumption to enter seminary and follow His “call”, discerning whether the desire in my heart to become a priest was also God’s will. I entered Bishop Bruté College Seminary in Indianapolis, studying for the diocese of Springfield, IL, in August of 2012, and Our Lord immediately made that patient, generous, love immensely evident to me. He graced me with tremendous growth in prayer, and my personal relationship with Him, with a sincere enjoyment of, and progress in, my philosophy studies, with the friendships, and fun, of being surrounded by dozens of other excellent, joyous, and eager seminarians, as well as so many other moments of excitement and happiness (sports, youth-rallies, skydiving, bar-b-quing, and so much more). God, though, has continued to amaze and astound me with His generosity because now I have been given the marvelous opportunity to study theology in Rome, here at the North American College. It’s as if Our Lord has “upped the ante”, drawing me into even deeper prayer through the magnificent churches, beautiful art, and proximity to the saints that one finds here, putting me in phenomenal, interesting, and edifying classes, surrounding me with another outstanding group of friends, classmates, and brothers, and – like this past evening – filling my days with once-in-a-lifetime opportunities of all sorts.


Washing the Pope's Hands!


At the end of the ceremony, as the choir triumphantly sang “Adeste Fidelis” during the procession out of the packed basilica, and the Pope carried the statue of the Baby Jesus to the crèche, my mind was distracted with the growing fatigue of my arms. Those processional candles were beautiful alright, but they were also heavy, and not being the tallest of the group, I had to hold mine at an uncomfortably high position, further hastening the buildup of lactic acid in my muscles... But then I glanced around and realized for the umpteenth time during that Mass that I was in St. Peter’s Basilica, mere feet from the Pope, Christ’s vicar, and celebrating the beautiful and awesome feast of Our Lord’s birth. It was a situation that reminded me, again, of everything that had happened over the last several years. It hasn’t always been easy – those philosophy classes were tough, and the theology ones in Italian are even more difficult, prayer hasn’t always felt fruitful, and so often I’m too tired to truly raise my mind to God, sometimes those other guys got on my nerves, and saying goodbye to come over to Rome certainly wasn’t easy – but in every moment, fun and stressful, easy and hard, exciting and exhausting, I can see God’s providence constantly guiding me down the way He wants me to take, making me the individual He wants me to be. Getting drawn closer to Jesus, and His joy, means being drawn closer to the cross, and further away from my own selfishness, laziness, fears, and desires. Those shepherds got to meet Christ their savior, but only after getting over there fears and trekking down into town, out of their way, to find Him. I got to serve Mass for the Pope, but only if I sweated a bit and carried around that heavy candle. As Pope Francis emphasized, God is immensely patient: this is what Christmas is all about! God humbly, innocently, without coercion, becomes one of us, to show us His love and draw us to Himself. All those incredible blessings, and difficult struggles, that I have experienced, have been His gifts – sometimes humble, sometimes frightening, sometimes small, sometimes big – and through them, God continues, ever so gently, to direct me towards his will. As it turns out, life as a seminarian here in Rome is very much like that Mass: an incredible, awesome, fun, and life-changing experience, but requiring a little soreness and trepidation as part of the process.

Not only was it incredible to be there – serving Mass for the Pope – but it was even more incredible to realize God’s love present constantly in my life. Every year, billions of people celebrate Christmas – the coming of Christ, as a man, into the world, 2000 years ago – but we forget that He wants to enter our lives at all times, not just on December 25th. So often I get distracted by the problems and struggles of life, and forget to step back and notice how much He gives me, not only in the overtly blessed, exciting and joyful moments, but also in those times of weariness, fear, and difficulty, when He desires that I return and trust in Him. So many times I forget to thank Him, or forget to have faith in Him. Yet He continues to give Himself to me, and to all of us, humbly lying there in the manger, in the Sacraments, in the Scriptures, in the encounters of daily life, patiently awaiting our approach and acceptance of Him.

“The patience of God” – it’s something God has generously shown me time and again in my own life, and it’s a gift that He gives all of us. The extraordinary, unlikely, and wonderful experience of serving Christmas Mass at St. Peter’s, for Pope Francis, has reminded me yet again of the profound truth in the saying “God will not be outdone in generosity”. You don’t, though, need to serve in a Papal Mass to see that: at Christmas we celebrate the even more extraordinary, unlikely, and wonderful event of God becoming man, of Jesus being born. That event, the coming of Christ into our world, also requires a bit of sacrifice on our part (to open ourselves up to Him), but it, even more than Mass with Pope Francis, or living in Rome, is totally worth it! 

I have ordered some "official" pictures of the Mass so hopefully in the coming weeks I can get those up here - they're a lot better than a screen-grab from the YouTube video...  Still, the experience is more important than the pictures, so I wanted to get this post up here.
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Serving for the Pope - Awesome in More Ways Than Meets the Eye

So, I've come to the conclusion that gazillion-word blog posts are not a good thing (primarily because they take forever for me to write - so I don't often write them - but also because they take a long time to read - and most of you folks don't have an over-abundance of time, so here's a short post about my serving for the Pope this past Christmas).  I'm currently  in the midst of 2-3 weeks of oral finals (the 6 of them are spaced out pretty well - which is nice because there's less stress, but not-so-nice because it means I'm doing finals for 3 weeks...), but since my next one isn't until Friday, I decided to get an update out...
 
Background: a group of guys from Brute were going to be coming to Rome after a pilgrimage to the Holy Land, and so I stuck around here for the first week of Christmas break so that I could show them around and hang out with them while they were here.  Obviously, I wasn't going to miss the chance to spend time with them, and I was also pretty pumped to be able to experience Rome around Christmas and show them around the city that I had been enjoying for the past few months, but those reasons would quickly be over-shadowed by a certain even-more-amazing blessing that was given us...
 
My task, in the months leading up to their trip here, was to line up the things we'd be seeing/doing while they were here, so - besides tours of St. John Lateran's, St. Mary Major, St. Peter's, the Scavi, a trip to Assisi, different walks around Rome to see other churches, and the coliseum, and stuff like that - I also wanted to get them tickets to attend Midnight (actually 9:30 PM) Mass on Christmas at St. Peter's.  So, I contacted the sisters at the Casa Santa Maria (located right next to the Gregorian, it was the NAC before it moved up here on the Janiculum, and these days it's the house of further studies for American priests, and the place where the sisters work to line things up for American pilgrims/tourists in Rome).  Basically, I contacted them to request tickets for the 9 of us seminarians and to check into how Fr. Bob (the rector at Brute) could be able to concelebrate at Christmas Mass.  As it turned out - a couple of weeks later - the sisters were unable to get tickets for us to attend Mass (they didn't get very many this year), but Fr. Bob, who had meanwhile contacted the liturgical folks over at St. Peter's, had gotten a ticket to concelebrate and permission for us seminarians to attend Mass.  The letter, though, was in Italian, and it also - intriguingly - asked that us seminarians show up to St. Peter's the day before for a prova [Italian for "practice" or "meeting"].  I didn't know why we would have to show up for something the day before (it wasn't specific) - surely we weren't serving or something... - but the more I asked around, the more I found that there was no other reason for us to be there the day before unless we were going to be serving. 
 
Practicing before Mass!
So, long story short, we made our way into St. Peter's on the morning of the 24th, found Msgr. Cihak, who we were supposed to meet up with, and - after he asked if we were the group from Indianapolis - he immediately started assigning us different things to do during the Mass.  I was picked for carrying the 7th candle (indicating the presence of a bishop - in this case the pope), to hold the microphone for the deacon (prayers of the faithful, "the Mass is ended, go in peace", etc.) and to wash Pope Francis's hands during the offertory.  We were all looking at each other like - wait, so we're serving for the Pope! - and sure enough, we were!  We then had a practice to run through everything we'd be doing that evening (all the MC's made it super easy, literally, you just waited at your spot until they came and got you for your next task), and then we were asked to show back up that evening early enough to run through everything again, oh, and so we could meet, and help vest, the Pope before Mass!  Needless to say, we were on cloud nine for the rest of the day! 
 
 

Waiting for His Holiness!
We arrived back at St. Peter's around 8 PM, had our practice, and then spent 30 minutes anxiously in the chapel of the Pieta (which I hadn't ever seen anybody inside of, it is all behind glass) for the Pope to arrive.  20 minutes until Mass, in walked the Vicar of Christ, and moments later he was walking around greeting us and shaking our hands!  What a moment!  Looking back, even after a month, I can't quite wrap my mind around it.  It wasn't just a cool moment because I got to greet the pope - you know, he's pretty famous, the head of the Church, directly connected with St. Peter, and Christ's chosen vicar here on earth - gosh, it was so much more than that.  But, so much more amazing to me than that, was the realization that Pope Francis is a human being like the rest of us.  Maybe that should be obvious - ok, it definitely should - and don't get me wrong - he's definitely been given a position, and a responsibility, way beyond mine, and I'd guess most of yours...  But, as I shook his hand and looked into his eyes I saw a man that was excited to celebrate Christmas, and tired from a long day in a hard "job", and happy to see us serving for him, and - in so many ways - a person a lot like myself.  I don't want to underplay his role in the Church by any means, but it was such an eye-opening experience to realize that he's not just a person that shows up on TV, or gives an angelus address each week, or writes encyclicals that I try to read.  He's a person with strengths and weaknesses, joys and sorrows, favorite
foods, and books, and hobbies... 

 
 
A couple months back we had the opportunity to go on a tour of the Swiss Guards' barracks, and the guard giving us a tour mentioned that from time to time he got to be stationed outside of Pope Francis's apartment, and so he got to know the Pope fairly well, including the fact that he really liked candy but had been told by his doctors that he'd have to cut back on sweets for health reasons.  At the time I chuckled with everybody else, but that little detail didn't actually sink in until I had the chance to meet the pope and serve for him.  Seeing him - up close - during that Mass reminded me again and again that he's a man like the rest of us -  and weak like the rest of us.  Yet, he's been given a responsibility - to feed Christ's flock - that's absolutely tremendous.  Basically, I saw that he wasn't some sort of super-human character, but he still has a super-human job to do!  He didn't look invincible, or for that matter terribly weak, he just looked really normal!  What I realized during that Mass was that - above all else - he needs our prayers!  How quick we are to complain about Pope Francis - he's too vague, he's too critical, he's too liberal, he's too conservative, whatever - but how often we forget to pray for him: for his health, and strength, and holiness! 
 
So yeah, it was an amazing experience to be able to serve for the Pope!  I was thrilled while I was doing it, it'll probably be one of my top-10 experiences for the rest of my life, and it's bound to make good homily material one day (God willing).  But, as so often is the case, there's so much more to each experience than meets the eye!  This is why I love blogging about these things, it makes me reflect back on them and see the deeper meaning.  Serving for Pope Francis means serving him in so many more ways than just holding a candle and pouring water over his hands!  It means serving along-side of him in the Church, in praying for him and for the Church that he is leading, and I am also a part of. 
 

Yeah, so it was incredible, and eye-opening, and inspiring, and profound, and awesome!
 
Sorry, they did take pictures of the actual meeting with the Pope (and Mass afterwards), but I haven't bought them, so I can't put them  up here, yet...
 
 
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A Year in Review, a Year of Blessings (2014 was Awesome!)


Oftentimes around Christmas time people send out letters to their family and friends about what they've been up to that year.  It's a good way to update everybody in a personal - but mass-produced - way as to how you are doing and, you know, the cool stuff that has happened in your life since the letter last year.  Well, this, I guess, is a bit like that.  However, I was thinking about doing the usual "year in review" but it didn't seem like the best kind of thing to talk about while contemplating Christmas. You know, here we are preparing for, and celebrating, the entrance of Our Lord into the world to save, redeem, and adopt us, but I'm instead going to spend the entire letter talking about myself, the things I've been up to, or gotten to see/do/experience/eat/enjoy, etc. - it just doesn't seem like the focus is on the right place.  But, at the same time, I know that many of you are interested in what I've been up to - especially in the transition over here to Rome - so, sticking with the tried and true answer of "D - all of the above" (in the Catholic theology/philosophy world, we use the term "both/and".), I think I'll write both about what I've been doing and how that has been such an incredible blessing from God.  Basically, I've begun to see all these amazing experiences in terms of Divine Providence, as blessings given by God to show me his love and bring me to Himself.  It's an amazing way to see things because not only does it open your (my) eyes to see God's incredible love and generosity, but it also shows Him working in my life, in forming me, guiding me, and opening me to Himself.  This reflecting back is part of the process of knowing oneself, it's super important in seminary and for the priest-in-training (as well as pretty much everybody else), but more than that, it just gives me a bigger picture than the nose-to-the-ground view that I usually have which is either "I can't wait to do X!" or "Ugh, I have so much to do today".  So, starting at the very beginning (it's a very good place to start!), here's the year that I've been blessed with!



The year began - after a wonderful Christmas break spent with family, filled with fun, and the excitement/trepidation of applying to the North American College - with a return to Bishop Brute College Seminary for my last semester of college seminary.  As during my entire time there, I felt extremely blessed to be back with the daily schedule of prayer and Mass and formation, the 40 or so other guys, my last set of "under-grad" classes.  



Adoration in the Chapel at Bishop Brute
First: Prayer and Formation.  Those few months, as in previous semesters, were marked - day after day - by the incredible blessing of consistent, frequent, and intense prayer.  From a purely human point of view, waking up at 5:45 every day to go to Mass and pray Morning Prayer in common with the other seminarians, spending 20 minutes saying the rosary between classes, coming back together for Evening Prayer, and then doing another hour of prayer before going to bed seems crazy.  Literally, as a seminarian, you spend at least 2 hours in the chapel every day!  But those hours were by far the best of each day!  Was I always attentive? - Nope.  Was I always consoled by some sort of overwhelming peace and joy? - Nope.  Were they productive? - Nope, not really.  But, moment after moment, day after day, week after week; all that time spent being with God, offering Him my failures, and joys, and gradually learning to trust, and love, and obey, from Our Lord Himself, is absolutely transformative!  I started to crave the times when I could drop to my knees and gaze at Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament and re-commit myself to following Him.  Don't get me wrong, seminary is amazing (it's not all offering things up...), but much of that awesomeness comes from seeing everything - easy and hard, fun and not-so-much, exciting and boring - with the eyes of faith, from God's perspective, seeing everything as a blessing, everything as a gift, and that only happens by constantly being with Him and listening to Him.  The seminary schedule is intense, it's busy, it's tough, but it's also an amazing chance to grow in love for God, and the love of God - when you're open to it - is pretty amazing!  Formation, briefly, was also very good.  Brute has been blessed with great priests, who consistently inspired us to that growth, and conversion, and openness to God that not only is integral to discerning and following one's vocation, but also has become for me such a source of peace and joy.



After running the Race For Vocations Half-Marathon
Second: All those other guys.  I really can't emphasize how great all the other men were at Brute.  I got to know all of them so well (there was only 40-something of us), and we had an absolute blast together.  Exercising, not my favorite activity, was a ton more fun when you had other guys to do it with - even when it was 25 degrees outside and you had to go on that 5 mile run.  Plus, at the end of the semester, having endured all those early morning runs with a couple of guys, I again ran in the Indianapolis half-marathon!  Not only was it a blessing to have those other guys pushing and encouraging me, and being able to crush my goal of 100 minutes, but during those runs I was given a great opportunity to grow in the virtue of perseverance.  One of the best motivators to keep the pace up (or just keep the legs moving) after 10 or 12 miles of pounding the pavement, I found, was to pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet.  Music-listening is great, but there's nothing quite like praying "Eternal Father ... increase Your mercy in us, that in difficult moments we might not despair ... but, with great confidence, submit ourselves to Your most holy will, which is love and mercy itself."  It's hard to complain about that last hill - or stop to walk - when you are thinking about the hill of Golgotha that Our Lord climbed for our sake!   Playing other sports (football, frisbee, soccer, racquet-ball, hockey, ping-pong) was - no sacrifices necessary - always a great time, as was the time when we went out to eat or cooked something together.  Not only were these times of fun games or good food, but, more importantly, they were times of growing in fraternity, generosity, and joy.  One of the many such fun times was my 21st birthday that I celebrated with a bunch of other guys at the end of the semester (finishing up while still 20!).  Basically, pretty much everything - studying, watching movies, meandering through Indianapolis, doing yard work, waiting in line at Subway, carpooling, making breakfast, getting ice-cream, etc. - was legitimately fun, even when otherwise it wouldn't have been!   They were (and are) a great group of guys, and I was abundantly blessed to have spent a year or two learning, growing, and having fun with them!



Third: Classes.  It was about as challenging a semester as they come, with 19 credit hours total and 12 in philosophy, but intellectually, it turned out fantastic!  God and Philosophy class: yep, it involved a huge paper at the end, immense amounts of deep, tough, reading for each class, and the tests were terrifying, but I was learning to use my rational/intellectual/mental capacity to realize things about God, and fall in love with Him all the more - how do you beat that?  Much the same can be said about my other classes (Logic, Modern/Contemporary Philosophy, Catholic Schools, New Testament, Philosophical Themes in Catholic Authors, and Abnormal Psychology); they weren't always exciting, none were easy, I had the usual assortment of long-papers, tricky quizzes, nerve-wracking presentations, and exams on top of exams, and it was a constant challenge to stay on top of everything, but despite the difficulty, I learned a ton, had a great time studying/learning with the other seminarians, and was able to - better than ever before - make that all-important connection between growing in human knowledge and growing closer to Our Lord, not only because He is the source of truth (Truth itself), and not only because it was Him that blessed me with a productive, successful, and intellectually-awesome semester, but also because in the midst of those late nights, and stressful cramming sessions, and tough days, I grew to trust Him more and approached a bit more to Him on the cross.  



God will not be out-done in generosity!  Perhaps more than anything, my last semester at Brute taught me this truth!  Give God a little - a couple more minutes of prayer when you're really busy, that last mile of your run when you're beat, remaining positive when that professor drops another impossible quiz on you - and, boom!, He will not only shower blessings in the sense of stuff that you'd like (time for enjoying yourself, great friends, a diploma), but also those things that you didn't see coming (joy in prayer, growth in generosity, understanding).  



Vacation with the Family in Washington State
Moving along here...  The summer was busy, and amazing.  I had been accepted in April to come to the North American College to begin my studies in theology, so after getting everything moved out of Brute and back home, I began the process of starting to get things ready for my move over to Italy in July.  Originally, looking at the calendar, I thought I'd have plenty of free time, but after serving for the ordination, and one of the first Masses, of the new priests for our diocese (both amazing and inspirational experiences!), going back and forth to Chicago to apply for my study-visa (which I got!), enjoying a family vacation to Washington (sometimes-peaceful, sometimes-exhilarating, always-wonderful), going skydiving with a couple of other Brute guys (by my standards, crazy, but ... yeah ... crazy), helping lead a vocation retreat/camp at Brute (which re-inspired my own vocation with all those enthusiastic young men, powerful moments of prayer, and phenomenal talks), and having the requisite going-away BBQ with friends and family, I didn't have much time left.  All those things certainly were fun, but at the same time they were the mile-stones marking my eventual departure to Rome, again, an exciting proposition, but at the same time one that filled me with dismay at the thought of leaving behind everything and everyone that I knew and loved.  But, looking back, once again I am reminded of God's providence throughout the entire time - everything came together correctly, I had many great times with my family and friends who I had to say goodby to, and - on an even deeper level - God was able to bring myself to trusting Him a bit more and giving myself a bit more freely to His will.  (I'm not perfect, by any means, but it's so cool to see God - patiently, lovingly, generously - drawing me, through all these things, bit-by-bit closer to Himself).



The View of Rome that I'm blessed with here at the NAC
And then the big moment came.  I gave my family one last hug, and stepped into the TSA line in St. Louis.  Several hours later I was at my terminal in Newark, meeting many of the men from around the country who I'd be spending the next several years with.  Then, a long flight and short bus ride later, I was in Rome and moving into the North American College.  It's a large complex - housing 250 seminarians and a couple dozen priests - and is the place where we pray (in one of a 4, soon to be 5, chapels), eat (in the large refectory or sometimes in the student-kitchen/roof-top terrace), sleep (everybody has a small room of their own, mine is on the 4th floor), hang out (each hall has a lounge, and there is also a larger tv-room, auditorium, and public game room as well), play sports (we have a large, turf, field, as well as basketball and tennis courts), and have formation conferences and other assorted meetings (in the assortment of classrooms that we have here).  Pretty much, we do everything-seminary related here, except for classes (more on that later).


The Holy Stairs
So, that first week was "pre-orientation".  In other words, it was all about getting us to know each other (both my own class-mates as well as the 2nd year men who were running the week), the NAC itself (expectations, ground rules, where things are, what the daily life is like...), and Rome (I usually woke up pretty early and just wandered around the city for a bit, but we also had multiple, awesome, excursions to the different major sites/churches/places around the city.)  It was a magnificent week!  Of course, though, the best blessings wasn't the food, or the fun we had, or the excitement of being and seeing Rome, but instead the supernatural ones.  All those churches were most amazing not because of their history, or significance, or grandeur, but because they were meant to, and quite good at, lifting the mind and heart to God.  The beautiful art and architecture, all interconnected in relating the story of God's salvific plan for humanity, constantly - despite my exhaustion from jet-lag and the intense schedule - reminded me of Him, and the opportunity to pray and attend Mass in such close proximity to the many saints who walked these same streets, and in the churches that so many pilgrims have visited for centuries, was incredible! 



Sienna!
Next up was two months of Italian studies.  The first month I spent in Assisi with about half of my class (20-something out of the almost 50 of us).  Each day began with 4 hours of classes, then lunch, then 2 more hours of class, and then we were free.  I'll be honest, learning Italian was (and still is) hard.  The 6 hours a day was particularly brutal, but gradually - piano, piano as they say - I began to memorize the basic vocabulary and get quicker at being able to utilize it.  During the month I also had the chance to explore the town of Assisi (beautiful basilicas, quaint little streets, good gelato, and multiple concerts and processions on feast days) and the surrounding areas and towns (more beautiful churches, gorgeous vistas over the Umbrian countryside), and, perhaps the most impressive, the palio (an incredible horse race) in Siena.  Thus, it was a fun couple weeks of experiencing Italian culture, all while getting to know the other guys who were with me and struggling together to learn the language.  After that first month we all returned to Rome where we had a couple weeks of orientation (basically, we were slowly introduced to the daily-schedule of life as well as some of the commitments that we have in seminary - formation, spiritual direction, (for me) choir, meals in common, prayer in common, etc.)  At the same time, we continued to take Italian classes, this time only 4 hours a day, and I finally began to see myself making some progress.  It never fell into my head as easily or quickly as I would have liked, but gradually I was more and more capable of carrying on a basic conversation, and, near the end of our classes, I managed to pass the Italian-comprehension exam to begin classes at the Gregorian! (Huge relief there!)  Pretty much, it was another exciting and blessed time.  The challenge of Italian bought us together as a class - and taught me patience and humility - as did the more enjoyable moments of exploring things over here - which were a learning experience as well.


Hiking Mt. Subasio on our first Fraternal Weekend (after Orientation)
There were two weeks between the end of Italian classes and the beginning of theology classes - the first a class-retreat in a little town called Greccio (near Assisi, actually).  It was my first week-long retreat, and it was my first silent retreat.  I thought it would be difficult, or at least uncomfortable - my plan was to enjoy the talks and extra time in prayer, but to spend a lot of the time hiking around the mountains in that area.  However, God had other plans.  From the first moment that I arrived, I was struck with an incredible - surely divine - peace and joy at being there.  The talks, and beautiful, powerful hours of prayer, left me, more than all the basilicas in Rome, in awe of the generosity, love, and benevolence of our God.  He becomes one of us, a little child, to give Himself to us not only then - in the manger, in His words, on the cross - but also now - in the Sacraments, in His abundant blessings, in His word.  It was all facts that I already knew, but that week they went from my mind to my heart, they weren't just facts, I felt God's love just filling and transforming me.  All those struggles of the past couple months, and those that I could see coming up, were nothing when I realized just how much God was willing to love, to help, to sustain me through them.  Following His plan isn't - I finally realized - so much about gritting your teeth and trying your best, it's about surrendering to Him not only to the extent of being willing to obey, but to the much more difficult, yet much more amazing, extent of offering back to Him all the struggles, and joys, the stressful moments and the amazing ones - He wants to transform them, to enter again into our lives, but - as at Bethlehem - He doesn't force Himself in.  


The Other Guys on My Hallway

And that, is the conclusion that all of this past year has left me with.  The ordination of deacons in St. Peter's Basilica the next week was an inspiration for my own vocation, and a fun week just in general (crazy fact: God willing, I'll be ordained a deacon in St. Peter's in 3 short years)!  My trip with some guys to the Eastern coast of Italy (we saw the shrine of St. Padre Pio, a cave where St. Michael appeared 1500 years ago, and the Eucharistic miracle of Lanciano, where the host became Christ's flesh during Mass, and has lasted until today) was a great final hurrah before classes started up, and another amazing spiritual experience.  The semester of classes - tough because of the Italian, cool because of the stuff we are learning (about Christ, the Church, Tradition, Faith, Hebrew, the Trinity, etc.) - has flown by and now I am beginning to prepare for exams in January/February.  The NAC has continued to be a phenomenal place to live - great other young men who are consistently kind, inviting, and tons of fun to be around, constant events and other enjoyable things to do each day (banquets, sports, bible-studies, skits, movies, and so much more), fantastic priests who have continuously amazed me with their insights in the spiritual life and their generosity to us seminarians, and so many other things!  The ability to go back to Alabama for my sister’s temporary profession stands out among everything else as another incredible blessing.  But there are so many other things that have also been amazing: a trip down to the Amalfi coast (where we saw some beautiful view of the Mediterranean as well as the tombs of St. Andrew, Matthew, Benedict, and Scholastica), winning the spaghetti bowl (NAC new men vs. NAC old men),  All of these things, everything that has happened over the past year, I have - especially during this season surrounding Christmas - realized were completely gifts from God.  Even that realization is His gift!  But, beyond all those things - a great experience at Brute, the chance to study here in Rome, good friends, fun times, a supportive and loving family, living 5 minutes from the Pope - God's gift of Himself to me each and every day - in those blessings, but even more profoundly in the incarnation, the Eucharist, moments of prayer, the scriptures, and even my theological studies - is the greatest gift of all.  



An Audience with Pope Francis
Christmas is a time when we give and receive gifts.  I hope and pray that your Christmas may be a chance to realize the gift that Our Lord gives to you - not only at this time, but all the time, both naturally and spiritually.  Don't think I'm perfect at this, at realizing God's many blessings and thanking Him for them, but I hope that my keeping them in mind while looking back at the year will help you to do the same!  Merry Christmas!

 A couple of big things have happened since I finished writing this post, namely, I served Christmas Mass for Pope Francis, and I took a trip to France, so, both of those will have to be given a post (or two) or their own!  Thus, consider this a "year" in review, that is missing the last 5 days or so...


The Nativity Scene going up at St. Peter's
sorry, I know it's now after Christmas, but it's the picture I have at the moment.
More to come!
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