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A Year in Review, a Year of Blessings (2014 was Awesome!)


Oftentimes around Christmas time people send out letters to their family and friends about what they've been up to that year.  It's a good way to update everybody in a personal - but mass-produced - way as to how you are doing and, you know, the cool stuff that has happened in your life since the letter last year.  Well, this, I guess, is a bit like that.  However, I was thinking about doing the usual "year in review" but it didn't seem like the best kind of thing to talk about while contemplating Christmas. You know, here we are preparing for, and celebrating, the entrance of Our Lord into the world to save, redeem, and adopt us, but I'm instead going to spend the entire letter talking about myself, the things I've been up to, or gotten to see/do/experience/eat/enjoy, etc. - it just doesn't seem like the focus is on the right place.  But, at the same time, I know that many of you are interested in what I've been up to - especially in the transition over here to Rome - so, sticking with the tried and true answer of "D - all of the above" (in the Catholic theology/philosophy world, we use the term "both/and".), I think I'll write both about what I've been doing and how that has been such an incredible blessing from God.  Basically, I've begun to see all these amazing experiences in terms of Divine Providence, as blessings given by God to show me his love and bring me to Himself.  It's an amazing way to see things because not only does it open your (my) eyes to see God's incredible love and generosity, but it also shows Him working in my life, in forming me, guiding me, and opening me to Himself.  This reflecting back is part of the process of knowing oneself, it's super important in seminary and for the priest-in-training (as well as pretty much everybody else), but more than that, it just gives me a bigger picture than the nose-to-the-ground view that I usually have which is either "I can't wait to do X!" or "Ugh, I have so much to do today".  So, starting at the very beginning (it's a very good place to start!), here's the year that I've been blessed with!



The year began - after a wonderful Christmas break spent with family, filled with fun, and the excitement/trepidation of applying to the North American College - with a return to Bishop Brute College Seminary for my last semester of college seminary.  As during my entire time there, I felt extremely blessed to be back with the daily schedule of prayer and Mass and formation, the 40 or so other guys, my last set of "under-grad" classes.  



Adoration in the Chapel at Bishop Brute
First: Prayer and Formation.  Those few months, as in previous semesters, were marked - day after day - by the incredible blessing of consistent, frequent, and intense prayer.  From a purely human point of view, waking up at 5:45 every day to go to Mass and pray Morning Prayer in common with the other seminarians, spending 20 minutes saying the rosary between classes, coming back together for Evening Prayer, and then doing another hour of prayer before going to bed seems crazy.  Literally, as a seminarian, you spend at least 2 hours in the chapel every day!  But those hours were by far the best of each day!  Was I always attentive? - Nope.  Was I always consoled by some sort of overwhelming peace and joy? - Nope.  Were they productive? - Nope, not really.  But, moment after moment, day after day, week after week; all that time spent being with God, offering Him my failures, and joys, and gradually learning to trust, and love, and obey, from Our Lord Himself, is absolutely transformative!  I started to crave the times when I could drop to my knees and gaze at Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament and re-commit myself to following Him.  Don't get me wrong, seminary is amazing (it's not all offering things up...), but much of that awesomeness comes from seeing everything - easy and hard, fun and not-so-much, exciting and boring - with the eyes of faith, from God's perspective, seeing everything as a blessing, everything as a gift, and that only happens by constantly being with Him and listening to Him.  The seminary schedule is intense, it's busy, it's tough, but it's also an amazing chance to grow in love for God, and the love of God - when you're open to it - is pretty amazing!  Formation, briefly, was also very good.  Brute has been blessed with great priests, who consistently inspired us to that growth, and conversion, and openness to God that not only is integral to discerning and following one's vocation, but also has become for me such a source of peace and joy.



After running the Race For Vocations Half-Marathon
Second: All those other guys.  I really can't emphasize how great all the other men were at Brute.  I got to know all of them so well (there was only 40-something of us), and we had an absolute blast together.  Exercising, not my favorite activity, was a ton more fun when you had other guys to do it with - even when it was 25 degrees outside and you had to go on that 5 mile run.  Plus, at the end of the semester, having endured all those early morning runs with a couple of guys, I again ran in the Indianapolis half-marathon!  Not only was it a blessing to have those other guys pushing and encouraging me, and being able to crush my goal of 100 minutes, but during those runs I was given a great opportunity to grow in the virtue of perseverance.  One of the best motivators to keep the pace up (or just keep the legs moving) after 10 or 12 miles of pounding the pavement, I found, was to pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet.  Music-listening is great, but there's nothing quite like praying "Eternal Father ... increase Your mercy in us, that in difficult moments we might not despair ... but, with great confidence, submit ourselves to Your most holy will, which is love and mercy itself."  It's hard to complain about that last hill - or stop to walk - when you are thinking about the hill of Golgotha that Our Lord climbed for our sake!   Playing other sports (football, frisbee, soccer, racquet-ball, hockey, ping-pong) was - no sacrifices necessary - always a great time, as was the time when we went out to eat or cooked something together.  Not only were these times of fun games or good food, but, more importantly, they were times of growing in fraternity, generosity, and joy.  One of the many such fun times was my 21st birthday that I celebrated with a bunch of other guys at the end of the semester (finishing up while still 20!).  Basically, pretty much everything - studying, watching movies, meandering through Indianapolis, doing yard work, waiting in line at Subway, carpooling, making breakfast, getting ice-cream, etc. - was legitimately fun, even when otherwise it wouldn't have been!   They were (and are) a great group of guys, and I was abundantly blessed to have spent a year or two learning, growing, and having fun with them!



Third: Classes.  It was about as challenging a semester as they come, with 19 credit hours total and 12 in philosophy, but intellectually, it turned out fantastic!  God and Philosophy class: yep, it involved a huge paper at the end, immense amounts of deep, tough, reading for each class, and the tests were terrifying, but I was learning to use my rational/intellectual/mental capacity to realize things about God, and fall in love with Him all the more - how do you beat that?  Much the same can be said about my other classes (Logic, Modern/Contemporary Philosophy, Catholic Schools, New Testament, Philosophical Themes in Catholic Authors, and Abnormal Psychology); they weren't always exciting, none were easy, I had the usual assortment of long-papers, tricky quizzes, nerve-wracking presentations, and exams on top of exams, and it was a constant challenge to stay on top of everything, but despite the difficulty, I learned a ton, had a great time studying/learning with the other seminarians, and was able to - better than ever before - make that all-important connection between growing in human knowledge and growing closer to Our Lord, not only because He is the source of truth (Truth itself), and not only because it was Him that blessed me with a productive, successful, and intellectually-awesome semester, but also because in the midst of those late nights, and stressful cramming sessions, and tough days, I grew to trust Him more and approached a bit more to Him on the cross.  



God will not be out-done in generosity!  Perhaps more than anything, my last semester at Brute taught me this truth!  Give God a little - a couple more minutes of prayer when you're really busy, that last mile of your run when you're beat, remaining positive when that professor drops another impossible quiz on you - and, boom!, He will not only shower blessings in the sense of stuff that you'd like (time for enjoying yourself, great friends, a diploma), but also those things that you didn't see coming (joy in prayer, growth in generosity, understanding).  



Vacation with the Family in Washington State
Moving along here...  The summer was busy, and amazing.  I had been accepted in April to come to the North American College to begin my studies in theology, so after getting everything moved out of Brute and back home, I began the process of starting to get things ready for my move over to Italy in July.  Originally, looking at the calendar, I thought I'd have plenty of free time, but after serving for the ordination, and one of the first Masses, of the new priests for our diocese (both amazing and inspirational experiences!), going back and forth to Chicago to apply for my study-visa (which I got!), enjoying a family vacation to Washington (sometimes-peaceful, sometimes-exhilarating, always-wonderful), going skydiving with a couple of other Brute guys (by my standards, crazy, but ... yeah ... crazy), helping lead a vocation retreat/camp at Brute (which re-inspired my own vocation with all those enthusiastic young men, powerful moments of prayer, and phenomenal talks), and having the requisite going-away BBQ with friends and family, I didn't have much time left.  All those things certainly were fun, but at the same time they were the mile-stones marking my eventual departure to Rome, again, an exciting proposition, but at the same time one that filled me with dismay at the thought of leaving behind everything and everyone that I knew and loved.  But, looking back, once again I am reminded of God's providence throughout the entire time - everything came together correctly, I had many great times with my family and friends who I had to say goodby to, and - on an even deeper level - God was able to bring myself to trusting Him a bit more and giving myself a bit more freely to His will.  (I'm not perfect, by any means, but it's so cool to see God - patiently, lovingly, generously - drawing me, through all these things, bit-by-bit closer to Himself).



The View of Rome that I'm blessed with here at the NAC
And then the big moment came.  I gave my family one last hug, and stepped into the TSA line in St. Louis.  Several hours later I was at my terminal in Newark, meeting many of the men from around the country who I'd be spending the next several years with.  Then, a long flight and short bus ride later, I was in Rome and moving into the North American College.  It's a large complex - housing 250 seminarians and a couple dozen priests - and is the place where we pray (in one of a 4, soon to be 5, chapels), eat (in the large refectory or sometimes in the student-kitchen/roof-top terrace), sleep (everybody has a small room of their own, mine is on the 4th floor), hang out (each hall has a lounge, and there is also a larger tv-room, auditorium, and public game room as well), play sports (we have a large, turf, field, as well as basketball and tennis courts), and have formation conferences and other assorted meetings (in the assortment of classrooms that we have here).  Pretty much, we do everything-seminary related here, except for classes (more on that later).


The Holy Stairs
So, that first week was "pre-orientation".  In other words, it was all about getting us to know each other (both my own class-mates as well as the 2nd year men who were running the week), the NAC itself (expectations, ground rules, where things are, what the daily life is like...), and Rome (I usually woke up pretty early and just wandered around the city for a bit, but we also had multiple, awesome, excursions to the different major sites/churches/places around the city.)  It was a magnificent week!  Of course, though, the best blessings wasn't the food, or the fun we had, or the excitement of being and seeing Rome, but instead the supernatural ones.  All those churches were most amazing not because of their history, or significance, or grandeur, but because they were meant to, and quite good at, lifting the mind and heart to God.  The beautiful art and architecture, all interconnected in relating the story of God's salvific plan for humanity, constantly - despite my exhaustion from jet-lag and the intense schedule - reminded me of Him, and the opportunity to pray and attend Mass in such close proximity to the many saints who walked these same streets, and in the churches that so many pilgrims have visited for centuries, was incredible! 



Sienna!
Next up was two months of Italian studies.  The first month I spent in Assisi with about half of my class (20-something out of the almost 50 of us).  Each day began with 4 hours of classes, then lunch, then 2 more hours of class, and then we were free.  I'll be honest, learning Italian was (and still is) hard.  The 6 hours a day was particularly brutal, but gradually - piano, piano as they say - I began to memorize the basic vocabulary and get quicker at being able to utilize it.  During the month I also had the chance to explore the town of Assisi (beautiful basilicas, quaint little streets, good gelato, and multiple concerts and processions on feast days) and the surrounding areas and towns (more beautiful churches, gorgeous vistas over the Umbrian countryside), and, perhaps the most impressive, the palio (an incredible horse race) in Siena.  Thus, it was a fun couple weeks of experiencing Italian culture, all while getting to know the other guys who were with me and struggling together to learn the language.  After that first month we all returned to Rome where we had a couple weeks of orientation (basically, we were slowly introduced to the daily-schedule of life as well as some of the commitments that we have in seminary - formation, spiritual direction, (for me) choir, meals in common, prayer in common, etc.)  At the same time, we continued to take Italian classes, this time only 4 hours a day, and I finally began to see myself making some progress.  It never fell into my head as easily or quickly as I would have liked, but gradually I was more and more capable of carrying on a basic conversation, and, near the end of our classes, I managed to pass the Italian-comprehension exam to begin classes at the Gregorian! (Huge relief there!)  Pretty much, it was another exciting and blessed time.  The challenge of Italian bought us together as a class - and taught me patience and humility - as did the more enjoyable moments of exploring things over here - which were a learning experience as well.


Hiking Mt. Subasio on our first Fraternal Weekend (after Orientation)
There were two weeks between the end of Italian classes and the beginning of theology classes - the first a class-retreat in a little town called Greccio (near Assisi, actually).  It was my first week-long retreat, and it was my first silent retreat.  I thought it would be difficult, or at least uncomfortable - my plan was to enjoy the talks and extra time in prayer, but to spend a lot of the time hiking around the mountains in that area.  However, God had other plans.  From the first moment that I arrived, I was struck with an incredible - surely divine - peace and joy at being there.  The talks, and beautiful, powerful hours of prayer, left me, more than all the basilicas in Rome, in awe of the generosity, love, and benevolence of our God.  He becomes one of us, a little child, to give Himself to us not only then - in the manger, in His words, on the cross - but also now - in the Sacraments, in His abundant blessings, in His word.  It was all facts that I already knew, but that week they went from my mind to my heart, they weren't just facts, I felt God's love just filling and transforming me.  All those struggles of the past couple months, and those that I could see coming up, were nothing when I realized just how much God was willing to love, to help, to sustain me through them.  Following His plan isn't - I finally realized - so much about gritting your teeth and trying your best, it's about surrendering to Him not only to the extent of being willing to obey, but to the much more difficult, yet much more amazing, extent of offering back to Him all the struggles, and joys, the stressful moments and the amazing ones - He wants to transform them, to enter again into our lives, but - as at Bethlehem - He doesn't force Himself in.  


The Other Guys on My Hallway

And that, is the conclusion that all of this past year has left me with.  The ordination of deacons in St. Peter's Basilica the next week was an inspiration for my own vocation, and a fun week just in general (crazy fact: God willing, I'll be ordained a deacon in St. Peter's in 3 short years)!  My trip with some guys to the Eastern coast of Italy (we saw the shrine of St. Padre Pio, a cave where St. Michael appeared 1500 years ago, and the Eucharistic miracle of Lanciano, where the host became Christ's flesh during Mass, and has lasted until today) was a great final hurrah before classes started up, and another amazing spiritual experience.  The semester of classes - tough because of the Italian, cool because of the stuff we are learning (about Christ, the Church, Tradition, Faith, Hebrew, the Trinity, etc.) - has flown by and now I am beginning to prepare for exams in January/February.  The NAC has continued to be a phenomenal place to live - great other young men who are consistently kind, inviting, and tons of fun to be around, constant events and other enjoyable things to do each day (banquets, sports, bible-studies, skits, movies, and so much more), fantastic priests who have continuously amazed me with their insights in the spiritual life and their generosity to us seminarians, and so many other things!  The ability to go back to Alabama for my sister’s temporary profession stands out among everything else as another incredible blessing.  But there are so many other things that have also been amazing: a trip down to the Amalfi coast (where we saw some beautiful view of the Mediterranean as well as the tombs of St. Andrew, Matthew, Benedict, and Scholastica), winning the spaghetti bowl (NAC new men vs. NAC old men),  All of these things, everything that has happened over the past year, I have - especially during this season surrounding Christmas - realized were completely gifts from God.  Even that realization is His gift!  But, beyond all those things - a great experience at Brute, the chance to study here in Rome, good friends, fun times, a supportive and loving family, living 5 minutes from the Pope - God's gift of Himself to me each and every day - in those blessings, but even more profoundly in the incarnation, the Eucharist, moments of prayer, the scriptures, and even my theological studies - is the greatest gift of all.  



An Audience with Pope Francis
Christmas is a time when we give and receive gifts.  I hope and pray that your Christmas may be a chance to realize the gift that Our Lord gives to you - not only at this time, but all the time, both naturally and spiritually.  Don't think I'm perfect at this, at realizing God's many blessings and thanking Him for them, but I hope that my keeping them in mind while looking back at the year will help you to do the same!  Merry Christmas!

A couple of big things have happened since I finished writing this post, namely, I served Christmas Mass for Pope Francis, and I took a trip to France, so, both of those will have to be given a post (or two) or their own!  Thus, consider this a "year" in review, that is missing the last 5 days or so...


The Nativity Scene going up at St. Peter's
sorry, I know it's now after Christmas, but it's the picture I have at the moment.
More to come!


A Day in the Life at the NAC

About a year ago I wrote an entire week of posts, basically just describing what the day-to-day life of seminary involved at Brute.  Well, now I'm in Rome, at the NAC, and I figured that you guys might be interested in the day-to-day happenings here.  I've only been able to write a few posts so far unfortunately, and I found that I really wasn't speaking to much on what the usual life here is like - I either talked just about one little moment or like an entire month, neither of which really tells you what the typical day is all about.  So, without further ado, here's today:

So, this morning the alarm went off at 5 AM.  Unfortunately, I stayed up till midnight last night working on a paper that's due in my theology seminar tomorrow and skyping the family (a seven hour time differential wreaks havoc with communication), so I woke up pretty tired.  Nevertheless, after quickly shutting off the alarm, I creaked down from my bed (I have a loft, which is great, but it does shake a bit when I move around on it), and proceeded to try and wake myself up by doing this "seven minute workout".  It's an app that I found for my phone that times out thirty second intervals during which you do push-ups, jumping-jacks, crunches, lunges, or whatever.  So, seven minutes later I was breathing a bit harder, just about to start sweating, and very much awake.  I turned on a podcast - this one happened to be Fr. Fessio on Catholic Answers Live - and proceeded to get dressed (in clerics! - which is still pretty cool even after wearing them every day for a month or two), brush my teeth, shave, and do those other things that are necessary each morning.  10 minutes later the podcast was paused, I grabbed my breviary, a prayerbook, a notebook, and Scott Hahn's The Lamb's Supper, and rattled down the 6 flights of stairs to the chapel.  It was now about 5:30 and I spent the next 45 minutes doing the Office of Readings, meditating a bit on the readings for the day, reading a chapter on the Mass out of Scott Hahn's book, and just spending some quiet minutes preparing myself for Mass and offering up the entire day to God.  I was certainly tired, but not to such an extent that prayer was impossible, and there was something beautiful about just telling God that - despite everything - I was going to try and give Him my best today.  Nothing spectacular on my end, but a good start to the week nonetheless.

Morning Prayer began (in common) at 6:15, followed by Mass, and - I have to say - I wasn't struggling quite as much as I thought I would based on the amount of sleep I got last night.  I think the time change (which happened last weekend here in Rome) helped because it is now light when we come out of the chapel after Mass (which was a happy surprise this morning, but probably something that unconsciously was helping me stay awake).  One of the deacons (I hate to say it, but I didn't remember his name and I forgot to look it up) gave a very good homily on how Jesus intended to heal the woman on the Sabbath because He is the Logos, the Word made flesh, through Whom the world was first created, and His salvific mission is to bring God's creation back into right relationship with God.  Brokenness, sinfulness, hatefulness, sickness - and every other kind of evil - weren't there when God created the world - He created it good.  But through man's choosing themselves over God - in sin - evil enters the world, and the world becomes twisted, broken away from God.  Jesus enters to bring the world back to God (and radically bring God into the world).  He heals, not to disregard the Sabbath, but to bring mankind to true rest, apart from sin, in union with God.  And, of course, He invites us to that same rest, that same union, every day in Holy Communion!  

After a couple minutes of prayer following Mass I walked down the hall to the refectory for breakfast, which, this morning anyway, involved leftover cornetti (sweet croissants) from yesterday, hard boiled eggs, and some yogurt/cereal/plum concoction.  15 minutes later - after chatting with some guys while eating - I charged up the 6 flights of stairs to my room, spent about 10 minutes getting ready for class, and then grabbed a jacket (it was in the 50s this morning), headed back down the stairs, and out onto the streets of Rome.  Originally, I began my walk listening to another podcast (gotta spend every moment wisely!) and studying the Hebrew alphabet (not terribly easy to do simultaneously), but after about 10 minutes I ran into some other guys on the way to class and so we spent the rest of the 30 minute walk talking about Rome, classes, plans for the rest of the day, and other such things.  It's funny how quickly I got used to walking over to class - it's crazy to think that I get to walk past the Piazza Navona, Santa Maria sopra Minerva, and the Pantheon every day on my way to class!  Fun times!

I arrived at the Greg. (Pontifical Gregorian University - if you want the full name) at about 8:20, with just enough time to head up the 2 flights of stairs, get settled into my desk, and log into the wifi before class began.  Classes are all in Italian - which, today as always, was a struggle.  We had two hours of Pentateuch and then 2 hours of Church History, both divided into two 45 minutes periods with a 15 minute break in between.  I am always very glad when the raucous bell goes off (it really does make a racket) and we get the break because it offers me a chance to clear my mind, stretch a bit, pray a bit (there is a very nice chapel up on the 3rd floor), or otherwise relax a bit - a very necessary thing to do because after 45 minutes of struggling mightily to translate what the professor is saying and type it out, my brain is usually pretty much fried and very ready to get distracted.  Classes have been getting better over the last 3 weeks, I guess I'm picking up new words and getting faster at translating, but I am very glad that guys better at Italian than myself are taking notes (that we then share) because otherwise, I'd be left with only about half of what we talk about in class.  Speaking of which, today we finished talking about the flood and began studying the tower of babel - and how God constantly tries to return man to His loving plan for creation, and away from mankind's tendencies to try to make himself God, and take the easy road to happiness, power, glory, or whatever.  In Church History we talked about the persecution of the early church - the writings of the Church Fathers at that time (St. Justin, St. Ignatius, St. John Chrysostom, etc.), other sources we have of that period (The Acts of the Martyrs, The Letter to Diagnetus, etc.), and the reasons behind the persecution and the phases it went through under different emperors.  That class, in particular, I'm going to have to rely on the notes because while there were PowerPoint slides (which are much easier to translate than simply an oral lecture), they each had about a thousand words on them - so it seemed - so I usually got about half-way through the slide before he flipped onto the next one...  Anyway, piano, piano (slowly, slowly).  In between the first and second period I took like a micro-nap (first time I've ever done that), which actually helped a ton with staying alert for the rest of the time, for the second break I spent some time in the chapel (again, dedicating the work of the day to Our Lord), and I think I just talked with some of the other students for the last break (there are probably about 80-100 students in the class, 20-something of which are from the NAC, and all the others are from other universities or orders around Rome, most of which don't have English as their first language, or Italian, so that can be a struggle at times as well - ah well, we keep trying!)

The walk back was beautiful!  It was just warm enough to not need the jacket, and it was just cool enough to not start sweating on the hike up the hill to the NAC (we're located on the Janiculum hill, one of the 7 hills of Rome).  As always, the streets are busy in places (mainly with people, we actually only have to worry about cars at a couple of intersections), and there are many people stuck in poverty who we always try to give at least a "bongiorno" and a smile.  I'm still getting used to both groups, and trying to constantly remember to be not only polite, but kind and loving - even if only for the moment.  It's one of those things, wearing the collar constantly reminds me of my call - especially as a seminarian - to live, and love, like Christ, which is a constant challenge, especially when you'd really rather just hurry back and get some lunch than stop and give somebody directions, or struggle to communicate your compassion to that homeless lady who always calls out to you as you walk past.  It's a real challenge, one that I didn't expect, and one that I need to constantly take to prayer!

Today, for the first time, I served at pranzo.  That basically means that instead of saying the Rosary like I usually do upon getting back (there's about 20 minutes between us getting back and pranzo), I instead headed into the refectory and started to set out jugs of water and bowls of salad on all the tables (36 tables, 2 jugs each, and the water-machines are pretty slow - it takes a while even with a couple guys working on it).  Then, after about 10 minutes we started carrying back salad plates and carrying out trays of pasta (today was noodles with a creamy red sauce and little flakes of ham - really good but I have no idea what it was called).  20 minutes later, the process repeated, this time carrying back the plate used for pasta and bringing out the secundo (today it was roast beef of some sort with tomato sauce along with peas).  And, a couple minutes after that it was time to carry out bowls of fruit (the dessert for today) and continue to clear plates and stuff.  I would have thought there would be down time, but there wasn't.  I was constantly on the move, going to fetch more food, or cheese, or water, or trying not to drop a stack of plates and silverware (always a balancing act).   Either way, at 2, everybody finishes up, the waiters sit down at their own table, and then we get to eat our own pranzo (same as everybody else's, but we just wolfed it down, and headed off to get things done that afternoon).  It was a fun first time - not hard, not easy, not bad - yeah, actually kind of fun!

I spent the next two hours in the library, working on the process of note-redacting.  Basically, because I'm not one of the chosen note-takers, I have the other job of taking the notes from three different guys for one of our classes (Introduction to Scripture) and combing them all.  The goal is to then have a pretty complete set of notes for the class which everybody can then use to fill in the gaps in their own knowledge.  I thought the process would be easy - boy, was I wrong.  It was such a challenge to look at the 3 or 4 different sets of notes, figure out when they are talking about the same thing, and then combine them in such a way that you lose nothing of any of their meanings but don't repeat anything at the same time.  It was way more of a challenge than I anticipated, and it took all two hours I had open in the afternoon (which I was hoping it wouldn't).  Anyway, such is the way it worked out - I'll have to find more time in the future to do it - but for today, I didn't have any more time!  After struggling to get the computer to save (the network wasn't working quite right) I raced out of the library, down to the St. John Paul II class-room (we don't usually have classes here at the NAC, but they do have some rooms for the occasional lecture or something I suppose), where I attended a meeting of the Legion of Mary.  

I was in the active Legion back at home, before seminary, so the meeting itself wasn't new, but I wanted to check it out as a possible apostolate for next semester because their work sounds really, really cool.  Basically, next semester I'll have an apostolate - which could be helping at a nursing home, working at a soup kitchen, visiting a prison, leading tours of St. Peter's, or - another option - doing evangelization in St. Peter's square for the Legion of Mary.  It sounds really fun actually - standing out there, meeting and greeting tourists who come there and answering any questions they have about the basilica, the Church, Christ, His saints, or any of the other innumerable questions that come up when you visit Rome.  It's an easy opportunity to lead people to grow deeper in their faith (or understand the importance of faith), and I will probably put it as one of the apostolates that I'd like to do.  We'll see, I'll be actually trying out the work in the square on Wednesday, so I guess I'll have to wait till then to be sure.

Anyway - running from one thing to the next - I charged back up the 7 flights of stairs to my room (I was in the basement), grabbed my Breviary, the Bible, Benedict XVI's Jesus of Nazareth, and the Magnificat and headed back down to the chapel for an hour of Eucharistic Adoration.  I got there just in time for it to start at 5:45 and spent the first bit of time just quietly adoring Our Lord, and then meditating on the readings for tomorrow and the psalms for mid-day prayer.  It was tough to strike the balance between quieting my mind and not falling asleep, but I did fairly well today!  I read the chapter on the Kingdom of God today from Ratzinger's book, which was absolutely beautiful.  He explained how the "Kingdom of God" isn't just a individual relationship with Christ, and it isn't just the Church, and it isn't some sort of earthly kingdom which holds Christian principles or something - rather, the "Kingdom of God" is Christ Himself.  Yes, present within us, and His Church, and throughout the world - but fundamentally, when Christ announces that the Kingdom of God is at hand, He is announcing Himself, living, incarnate, actual, moving, loving and desiring that we open ourselves up to Him and allow Him to reign over our hearts, our lives, our families, our decisions, our countries, and our world!  Something that Pope Benedict didn't mention, but I was graced with the thought a couple minutes later during Benediction, was that in the Our Father, Jesus tells us to pray "Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven" - obviously indicating that we should strive to accept, to unite ourselves with, to do, God's will (that He may reign over our hearts - where He truly wants His Kingdom to come), but the very next line - drum-roll please - is "give us this day our daily bread".  Again, boom, it struck me of the incredibleness and importance of the Eucharist.  It is in this "daily bread", this supernatural bread, that Jesus gives us Himself.  Our "Amen" to receiving "the Body of Christ" is not only our statement of belief that this is "Christ the Son of the Living God", but also that we are willing to unite ourselves with Him so closely that He can enter our very hearts and souls.  With our reception of Holy Communion, we let Christ reign over us, we surrender to His will for our lives, we let His kingdom come!  Yeah, that was a pretty awesome moment! 

After doing Evening Prayer as a community, and saying another quick little prayer of dedication and thanksgiving, everybody headed off to the refectory for dinner.  I chose (it is buffet style) to have a little bit of pasta (shells with a cream sauce), some slices of turkey in gravy, a salad, and a banana with peanut butter (we rarely have bananas here, at least right now, so it was a treat!).  Again, nothing outrageously amazing, but it was all good, and hot, and there were good conversations to be had, and there was a banana!  

Alright, the day's almost complete!  After dinner I ran back up to my room, spent a bit of time on writing this post, worked for a couple minutes on Hebrew (I need to spend so much more time on that), and then went down and caught the last 30 minutes of a praise-and-worship hour that happens here once a week.  I had rarely done that sort of things before this semester, but there is something beautiful about that way of singing and praising God - I guess I didn't expect to like it, but in the right context it is beautiful, powerful, and prayerful!  Then, continuing to run to the next thing, I watched one episode of Agents of Shield, a TV series based off of the Marvel comic strips and films.  It's actually quite a good show - without too much language or other kinds of vices, but showing a decent amount of action and some seriously difficult moral decisions (which they don't always make the right choice).  You know, a couple super-hero's, good guys fighting bad guys, it's fun!

And now, I'm finally finishing this post, getting ready to post it and hit the sack (currently, I'll be getting 5 hours and 56 minutes of sleep tonight... - not enough, but it'll have to do).  It was a long day, I literally didn't have more than a couple minutes anywhere when I wasn't doing something or onto the next thing, but - as always - God provides and "tomorrow will worry about itself".  I recall hearing of a priest saying that he wanted to be tired each evening - spending himself for God and his flock - and I was inspired by it!  Don't we all want to really give our lives for something that's worth it!  But, I was kind of assuming that he woke up every morning having gotten 8 hours of sleep, with the sun shining, and a game-plan of what amazing things he was going to do that day.  Apparently, yeah, God is asking me to give myself - day-in-day-out - to Him, but that means being tired when you go to bed, and when you wake up!  Hmmm...  Something about picking up one's cross comes to mind - I guess I should have expected a bit of tiredness, frustration, business, and the daily grind.  Ah well, again, God will provide - it's an amazing life, if busy, and I'm loving every minute, even if exhausted!

Whoever Finds a Friend, Has Found a Treasure!

So, for whatever reason, I woke up with the words from the palio "run, so as to win!" in my mind - don't ask why, I have no idea!  BUT, they reminded me of a very important fact: the incredible generosity and support that I've been given over the past couple months here in my transition to the NAC by everybody here.  See, in the Palio, when the priest is giving the horse that blessing before-hand, he shouts at it to "run" [va! - go!] "so as to win" [per vincere (something like that...)].  But the thing is, that the horse is all on his own - if the jockey falls off, the horse can still win, as long as it just keeps running and manages to get around first.  Here, at the NAC, things have felt just about as hectic, just about as fast-paced, and just about as crazy as the three, insane, blisteringly-fast, laps of the Palio.  These last couple months have been absolutely packed with stuff to get done, things to complete, places to go, things to do, people to meet, new things to learn, culture to immerse yourself in (not only Italian, but also getting to know how things work here in the seminary) - it's been about the busiest time of my life!  BUT, unlike the palio, and that horse, I have not been alone at all. Every single step of the way - from the faculty, the other upper-year men, and the other guys in my class - I've gotten just blown away by how much everybody is willing, and wanting, to help me out.

The Opening Banquet, in the NAC Dining Room
Last evening (now last week, this post is taking longer than I though) was the opening banquet, a pretty fancy meal that they have every year after the first week of classes (for most guys - some of the 2nd-cycle guys, in their 4th and later years start on different weeks) to officially start the year and welcome everybody back.  We had had a smaller, but just as fun, banquet maybe a month or two ago (I think it was after we got back from our first month of Italian studies outside of Rome - for me, in Assisi) to welcome all the new men (myself and my 50 or so classmates), but this was the final, official, one, and it marks the moment when everything finally settles down - for the most part - and things get into the usual schedule and whatnot (6:15 AM Mass, then breakfast, then classes, then pranzo, then studying, then sports, the Adoration, then Evening Prayer, then cena, then hanging-out, then bed, etc.!)  Anyway, so after a delicious meal (antipasto: prosciutto, buffalo mozzarella, mushrooms, and dried tomatoes; primo: carbonara; secundo: roasted chicken, cooked spinach, and mashed potatoes; and dolche: a kind of cream-filled, powder-sugar-covered cake), one of the men from my class (Colin Jones, who also has a blog) gave the opening-banquet-toast on behalf of the new-men during which he expressed exactly what I'm trying to say here.  

First of all, the faculty! The talks that we've had so far - about the different basilicas, homilies during Mass, conferences on life here at the NAC, and in Rome - have been inspiring, beautiful, reassuring, and everything else that I could possibly hope for.  I've started taking notes for pretty much every single talk I hear because I know they'll be great! Msgr. Checchio, the rector, gave us our first formation conference this past Thursday, and in it he was completely genuine in his exhorting us to open ourselves to formation here - to allow the priests, the experience, and most of all, Christ, to form us, above everything else, after the heart of Christ.  Everything else - academic prowess, physical fitness, even spiritual-ness - only comes after that foundational love, that fundamental openness, to become more and more, day after day, in every single moment and every single way, like Christ.  Priests are meant to go [va!] - to teach, to preach, to heal, to help - in the most profound and extraordinary way, like Christ - in persona Christi capitis - and seminary, Msgr. explained, is meant, above all, to form us to be more and more like Him.  Of course, he continued, this means that it's not always easy, it's meant to be a challenge because - face it - we're not all that much like Christ at the moment, though were striving for that.  The challenge of living a truly radical, completely loving, absolutely dedicated, perfectly generous life is a life-long one (and one that requires that we depend on God and His grace).  BUT, getting back on track, Msgr. Checchio reminded us that the seminary is designed - in every single way - to get us on that path of holiness and Christ-likeness.  Everyone, himself included, is watching out for us, not - in the words of Pope Francis - because the seminary is a police-state or something - but because they want us, above all, to grow towards Christ during our time here, in faith, and hope, and love, and chastity, and preparation, and courage, etc.  He reiterated that all the priests here, and all the formation that we'll be experiencing over the next years - spiritually, pastorally, humanly - will be hard at times, but that we must, like Christ, remain obedient to God's will (as indicated through those He has chosen - our bishops) and stick it out, trusting that all is meant to lead us closer to God so as to love His people better.  My synthesis of his talk, incomplete as it is, makes it less inspiring, and more scary, than it actually was.  It was an amazing, impassioned, inspiring talk, and it made me ready and willing to throw myself into formation - come what may - to become that holy, healthy, and happy priest that the NAC is striving to prepare and form!

In so many other ways too, the priests have been so very helpful over the past couple of months.  From their constant offers to help us, and their constant willingness to direct us, and their constant patience with our mistakes, forgetfulness, and confusion of getting to know a new place, to their inspiring example of being priests just joyfully giving themselves to Christ and His church, to their always-happy greetings in the hallways, there have been so many examples of generosity among the faculty here it's just astounding!  I know for myself, they've been an inspiration!  Like that time I got hundreds of bug bites, and looked like the panther from "Put me in the Zoo" [yeah, that was a long time ago, even for the youngest member of our class...], a very obvious ailment because the next day was our beach-outing, and several of the priests immediately offered different medicines/creams, and arranged to have the sisters who run the infirmary to come over, and then checked up over the next couple days to make sure I was doing fine.  It was awkward, I wanted to "be a man" and just tough it out, but their help meant I itched for a couple days rather than a couple weeks, and it taught me the even more important lesson of learning to look out for, and help, everybody around me.  Just last Thursday - another great anecdote - the new priests on faculty made their oath of fidelity to the faith and to the church.  It was so cool, and powerful, to see those priests, standing in front of the entire community and commiting themselves to forming me, and the other seminarians, according to the faith! Colin gave some good examples, and some funny ones, in his speech, (and I could as well) but I won't dive into those here (some other time); this is supposed to be a short post (after all, it is [was] like 5 in the morning... on a Saturday) and I'd like to get my ideas down as quickly as possible.


The Guys from my Hall (which is called "4th NASA")
The second group of guys that Colin thanked, and I'd totally agree, are the other men here.  A huge thumbs-up to all those guys who have constantly, after I bring up the topic of struggling in Italian (like every day...), given me advise, and encouragement, to stick it out, be patient with myself, and that eventually it will come.  Or those guys who've bought us gelato, or cooked us meals, or baked cookies, or told us the best places to eat in Rome, or organized sports, or put tons of free-stuff [regalo] on the halls for me to scavenge and fill my room with (seriously, I've picked up a couple of chairs, books, a bunk-bed, a fan, a carpet, a table, a clock, and some other things), or invited us into their groups during dinner, or welcomed us warmly when we showed up at the lounge that first night, or showed us around the KNAC (a little store they run here with stationary, snacks, soap, and other important little things), or opened the bowling alley for us (yep, we have a bowling alley - the second oldest one in Europe - down in the basement), or helped tutor us in Italian, or came and visited us on the breaks during our first week of classes, or walked us over to our schools for the Italian proficiency test, and helped me retrieve my back-pack after I forgot it during the Italian proficiency test [ho domenticato il mio zaino...], or stopped by our rooms to greet us, to chat, to welcome us (again, and again, and again!), or complemented us on those little things we got right, or put like a hundred different holy cards in our boxes, or talked about places we should visit, or prayed for us during this previous summer...  (If you hadn't guessed, I could go on!)  Colin again, had a couple of good examples, some funny some seriously eye-opening to just how generous these guys have been, and just how far they've gone to welcome and help us.  Again, I'm going to keep it short and move onto the last group of awesome folks I've become friends with.

My Class, In Front of St. Peter's
My Class, After our Retreat in Greccio
And that would be the members of my own class.  We were all thrown together there at the airport in Newark a couple months ago, myself knowing very few of them, but ever since that moment I've been enjoying my time with them immensely.  They're a great group of guys!  Enthusiastic about diving into the next level of seminary, incredibly supportive when I'm feeling overwhelmed by whatever challenge happens to hit me his week (mainly, it's been the Italian), competitive on the sports field, ready and willing to wander around with me, constantly giving a little grin or "hello" as they walk past my room, models for holiness, and perseverance, and discernment.  But, above all those superlative adjectives, they are just a bunch of men that are a ton of fun to spend time with, and I'm privileged to count them as friends!  Growing together, praying together, struggling together, exploring together, settling-in together; it forms close bonds, and it forms close friendships!  Yeah, it's a great class, the next five years will be full of wonderful times and experiences, and - God-willing - in 3 years, I'll be laying down next to them in St. Peter's basilica about to be ordained a deacon!  

Yeah, so the NAC is a phenomenal place to be preparing for priesthood, due very much so to the great men that are here - priests and other seminarians!  They are all open to God's grace working in their lives, and God's love working through their lives, and it shows!  It's a wonderful place to be!  

Softball!
Side note: with 250 guys it's really hard to get to know, or even remember the names, of everybody.  Literally, I don't think I've met everybody and we've been all back for probably about a month...  Still, while that's the challenge of having such a large group, thankfully things are broken down quite a bit into smaller groups.  For instance, there's the usual guys who play soccer, or the guys in the choir, or the guys in my class at the Greg, or the guys on my hall, or the guys from Illinois, or the guys who do a Bible Study every Thursday, etc.  It's a great way to build those stronger friendships that would be tough otherwise if you just had to jump into the whole huge group of them.

"Faithful friends are a sturdy shelter: whoever finds one has found a treasure.  Faithful friends are beyond price; no amount can balance their worth.  Faithful friends are life-saving medicine; and those who fear the Lord will find them.  Those who fear the Lord direct their friendship aright, for as they are, so are their neighbors also." - Sirach 6:14-17