Open Wide the Doors for Christ!

It is that time of the semester when I always start to feel a bit overwhelmed.  This last week, for instance, has been an exercise in frustration during which I have been struggling through an Augustine/Aquinas paper on the relationship between faith and reason.  I naively thought that the 8-12 page paper would be easy enough that I could get by without figuring out an overall organization/structure beforehand.  Of course, that plan has since backfired on me.  Not only has it been difficult to keep some semblance of cohesiveness and conciseness to the paper, but the last week has been absolutely packed with things to do.

 

I thought that I would finish the paper on Wednesday, but then I had all my typical classes, a discernment dinner along with Mass in the evening, and Adoration that night, so I didn't get very far - 6 pages done.  Over Thursday, I thought for sure that I would make some progress, but then I was busy keeping on top of metaphysics and calculus during the day, we had Adoration and Mass at Marian in the afternoon, then I played racquetball, did schola practice, and was left with only the late evening (when I don't seem to get anything done), and predictably didn't get anywhere - 7 pages done.  Surely, I thought, I could finish it off on Friday - not!  My day was again full of classes, and though I tried to get stuff done in the afternoon, I didn't know where exactly I was going, and then Fr. Presta, the vice-rector of Mundelein seminary, visited in the evening, and once again I didn't get anywhere - 8 pages done.  Saturday? - nope.  We had Mass, then a work session,  then ministry, then a community dinner, then a marshmallow roast (which was a blast!), and I didn't get to bed until midnight, having gotten little completed - 8.5 pages done.  Sunday? - no again.  I cantored at Mass, then hung out with some guys who had been here last year and were visiting, then I struggled through another page of the paper, then took a short nap, then had a community dinner, then had Holy Hour, then our last football game, and then I went to bed having gotten little progress made - 10 pages done.

 

Basically, I have concentrated just about every free minute of the week on one paper, and it still isn't done.  I was hoping to knock it out quickly so as to get going on my harder and longer papers due in Senior Seminar and Metaphysics, but the combination of my lack of planning and a packed week just didn't work to my favor.

 

Anyway, that is what I've been up to over the past week.  Unfortunately, the next few weeks look to be just as packed, and I'll have just as much to get done, but I guess it will all get done eventually.  Man, this post wasn't very positive was it?  Ah well, I've been having a lot of fun, reading a lot of good sources, and - you know - it's been good, just busy.  Tonight the Springfield guys have a vocation night at Eastern IL university (I think at the St. John Newman center) organized by Fr. John Titus.  It should be fun, but, again, it will cut into my time for doing schoolwork.  Gosh, I wish I wasn't so busy staying on top of school and had more time to work on the other areas of formation (or maybe just had some free time...)  Anyway, I guess I better get back on it. 

Wow, the week is just flying by - I guess that is what happens when your days are absolutely full of thing to do.  Today began with morning prayer at 7:15.  I was somewhat lazy, so I didn't do the Office of Readings beforehand, and said it after Morning Prayer.  Nevertheless, after a quick breakfast of yogurt, a toasted english muffin, and chocolate/caramel milk (we now have caramel syrup, and Adam said it was delicious, so I tried it - pretty good!) , I spent the next hour or so tidying up my room and reading up for different classes.  My room had gotten a bit messy over the past few weeks, and seeing some other guys who have kept their room spotless, I decided some organizing was in order.

In Augustine and Aquinas we talked about Anselm's defense and explanation of free will.  Your synopsis: Free will isn't the ability to choose between two options (alternative possibilities) such as good or bad, or cheerios or corn-flakes, though we do often have that kind of freedom, it is our ability to maintain rectitude of will.  What is rectitude of will?  This is the state our will is in when it is ordered correctly, that is towards the good, which, as Christians, we believe to be God.  Basically, Anselm says that when we choose something that isn't good (or we inordinately desire some temporal/temporary good) we are essentially giving up our humanity.  As humans, we have the option to choose the good, but Anselm explains that when we choose something that is not good we in fact become trapped in sin, and lose freedom.  Obviously, this is a super-summary of the stuff we talked about, but thankfully Anselm ends by explaining that we can get out of this cycle of/slavery to sin through grace that God freely bestows on us.

After class I got an early lunch at the cafeteria.  Today I got salad, meat-on-a-stick (the consensus was that it was chicken, but who knows), and some pumpkin bread.  Everything was actually delicious!  After lunch I headed over to library where I worked on reading for metaphysics, chatted with other people (mostly seminarians, but other folks will join our little zone as well) about all sorts of topics, read a bit for other classes, and then prayed midday prayer.  I was glad that I didn't had too much going on because it allowed me to do some "hanging out" rather than forcing myself to get stuff done.  It's nice every once in a while!

Alright, I'm already beyond half-way through the day!  Metaphysics was pretty cool today.  We dove straight into proving the existence of God.  Today we were going through the argument from motion.  This argument appears as early as Aristotle, but we were going through the version found in Thomas Aquinas's Summa Theologiae.  The basic propositions: (1) - Some things are in motion.  We can see things around us are changing and moving - in metaphysical speak, they are going from potency to act. (2) - A potency can be reduced to a potency only by an agent in act.  If that didn't confuse you, congrats!  Basically what this second proposition says is that the only way that things (people, animals, rocks, stars...) can be changed, moved, or caused to do something (this is going from potency to act) is through the action of something else that actually exists.  (3) - Whatever is [in] motion must be put in motion by another.  Basically, this says that something that potentially is one way cannot move/change itself to be actually that thing.  Example: a rock that is potentially at the bottom of a hill can't move itself there unless something else pushes it (or gravity pulls it).  This gets more complicated with living things, but it still applies.  Example: your leg doesn't move unless your muscles "fire".  (4) - There cannot be an infinite series of motions put in motion by another.  OK, this is where it gets really complicated, and where I don't understand it fully (yet), but basically, the world wouldn't work if you kept going back one step (to the previous agent) infinitely.  So, taking the earlier example, your leg moves because of muscles, which move because of nerves, which move because of signals going around in your brain, which move because your will decided to move your leg, which moved because??  See how eventually you have to get to some agent that isn't explained or moved by a previous agent.  Eventually, Thomas Aquinas says, you have to get to an unmoved-mover.  A being that isn't caused or moved or changed by something previously.  Actually, I've left out a large part of this 4th part, T.A. says that temporal sequences of causality can regress infinitely, but simultaneous sequences of causality don't.  Either way, he argues that God causing the universe/creation is an example of the second type of causality, so the point stands...

Skip the next two paragraphs if you don't want any more metaphysics, but if you're adventurous keep reading...  :-)  During the second half of class, we went through properties which must be true of this prime-mover, unmoved-mover - you know - God.  First He must be immaterial (not made of physical, material, stuff).  Why?  If God is made of matter, he would have to cause the universe to exist through material contact/movement.  Why is this a problem?  Well, the only way that a material can move another material (think pool balls or something), is if itself is in motion.  Yet, if we say God "was" (thinking in our temporal mindset) moving when He created the world, that means He was changing, which isn't right.  We call God the prime-mover because He causes motion/change in the world, not because He was actually moving.  This is tough to think about, but physical movement means that God would have been moved by something else (which means that He isn't the original source of movement).  The second point that we made was that God, the unmoved-mover, is that He is not in potency at all.  This is connected with the previous point.  Remember, movement and change, in metaphysics  is talked about in terms of going from potency to act.  (Before moving, a being has the potential to move, or change, or whatever, and after if moves it is actually in the new state, or place).  So saying that God doesn't have any potency, is saying that He can't change.  If by causing the original motion (creation) of the universe, God moved, or changed, or is any way went from potency to act, that movement wouldn't have been unmoved.  (Something must have moved God from the potential state to the actual one).  I guess I won't get more technical, hopefully the argument above isn't full of fallacies and you can follow the train of thought a bit...

Another point made during this talk of the unmoved-mover (God), the topic came up of how God, if He is in fact immaterial, could move/cause a material universe to move/exist?  I mean, how can something that is spiritual cause something that is material?  We just kind of assume that this is "easy" because God is God.  But in metaphysics we are looking at the issue without having the "back-up" of theology (Revelation and Tradition).  It's not like it is anti-religious discipline, but we are trying to figure out how things could work, or how we can explain what we see, without just saying that God did it.  Obviously, sometimes, God did just do it, and we can't figure out why or how, but sometimes we can answer those questions and that is much of what metaphysics seems to be about.  Alright, back to how God, as immaterial, could cause the world, which is material.  Basically, what the professor said was that this was a tough question, that we really don't understand, how God could do such a thing (using metaphysics).  This argument for God is a demonstration quia, which means it tells us that an unmoved-mover must exist for the universe to exist, but it doesn't tell us how this unmoved-mover works.  Interestingly, and once again we see how philosophy connects with theology, (even though for class today we were trying to prove God without theology as explained above) the professor noted that this paradox of immaterial moving material is very similar to how our (immaterial) will moves our (material) body.  How does it work?  We really don't know.  But it gives insight into just how much we are created in the "image and likeness of God".  It's not like God (pre-Jesus) had a body that looks like ours, but isn't it interesting that somehow God has connected our will to our body - making a hybrid of spiritual and material.  It isn't easily explainable, how this works.  Previously the professor had noted that the human "hybrid" is possibly the hardest thing to explain metaphysically - I am starting to see why.  Man people are cool!

OK, enough metaphysics (want more? check this out at catholic.com)!  After class, I immediately went over to the Marian chapel where, as usual for Thursdays, we had a Holy Hour with the Marian community.  I went to confession, said the rosary, prayed for different people (including all you folks), and prayed evening prayer with everybody.  Mass immediately followed.  Today I was cantor, so that required me to pick and start the opening hymn and lead the alleluia verse.  Usually, I am a bit nervous cantoring at Marian (more-so than at Bruté) I guess because there are more people and you have to use the microphone and stuff, but today it really wasn't that difficult.  After Mass most guys (including myself) went over to the cafeteria for dinner, for which I had a toasted pb&j (really tasty) and a few other things (that I now forget).  

After dinner I hung out in the library because I was supposed to attend this talk about an hour later.  It was a talk about ecology/environmentalism from a Catholic perspective, so I was barely interested, but not really.  Senior seminar class was canceled tomorrow, so the professor asked us to attend this lecture...  Anyway, nobody was at the theater in the library, so I had to look up the event on the computer about a minute before it was supposed to start and found out that it was across campus.  I speed-walked over there, arriving late, but before they started (thankfully).  I don't want to spend too much time on the talk, but basically the guys said that the Catholic church teaches that we need to take care of the environment, you know don't destroy the place, because the Bible says so, and that was pretty much it.  He managed to stretch that into about an hour of talking, and there were a few other bits which I think he could/should have left out, but I won't get into it.  Whatever - I'm not one to complain...

I got to the second half of schola practice after the talk.  We were going though Ave Verum, which we will be singing in 4-part harmony on Sunday.  It is a beautiful song, but I am on the soprano line this time (last song I was on the base line), and there is two places where the song gets really, really high.  I managed to hit the first such "spike" normally, but I have yet to get through the second one without going falsetto.  It actually doesn't sound bad, but I am always just waiting for my voice to crack at just the wrong time.  I guess I'm stretching my vocal range...  

 The last major thing today was night prayer (compline) which I was cantoring today.  We chant night prayer three times a week in common, and we use a cantor-congregation style setup.  Basically, the cantor chants one verse, and then the body of guys, and then the cantor and so on...  I was again, not really nervous about it today (which is awesome), and I think that myself and Aaron (the organist) did a really good job.  The speed seemed good, I didn't stumble on any words, the guys jumped into their parts quickly, it was wonderful (and beautiful).  It's amazing what happens when you do things for the glory of God rather than yourself!

And with that, I basically made the rounds, finished typing this post up, talked with a few guys in my room, and now I'm off to bed.  It was another great day!

Well, here I am again with a daily recap.  So much is happening around here and I decided to just roll it all into one post.  Hopefully it makes a little bit of sense, but it probably doesn't...

Yesterday, as I briefly mentioned I went to Sacred Heart (here in Indianapolis) to take some notes on how their music was for Mass.  We (I'm in the class with 3 other seminarians and other non-seminarians) have an assignment in music class that requires us to go to a Sunday Mass over the next few weekends and write a paper on the music that they do.  (Does the priest chant anything? does the congregation join in?  what songs are chosen?  do they play an organ or something else?  - you get the picture).  Anyway, Sacred Heart, as I was told before I went, is the most beautiful church in the Arch-diocese of Indianapolis, so I was happy to have picked it.  Of course what I didn't know was that they are currently redoing their floors and Mass was in the church hall...  Yep, that was a bummer.

After I got back from Sacred Heart, I joined a group of guys who were making dinner.  On the weekends we don't go to Marian for food, so we have to either eat at Brute or go out someplace.  Being the guy that I am, I typically lean towards eating here rather than spending money elsewhere.  Thus, I was happy to join these guys making dinner, since it would undoubtedly be better than the microwaveable pizza, ramen noodles, or hamburger that I would have made on my own.  It turned out that they were working on a stir-fry with rice, chicken, green peppers, onions, sliced almonds, and a saucy concoction with soy sauce, garlic, and other unidentified spices.  Either way, it turned out delicious!

So, yesterday evening (now it's like 7:30PM), I joined a different group of guys to go ice skating.  Now, I don't think I have ever been ice skating before (maybe some time when an ice storm covered our back yard???), so I was prepared for the worst.  Nevertheless, I quickly got the hand of it, and had a really, really fun evening.  By the end of the hour and a half, I was attempting, unsuccessfully, to learn how to slide to a stop (by flipping your ankles/skates sideways), to skate backwards (I definitely wasn't too elegant doing that either), and racing with the other guys (which, though I didn't win, was relatively successful at).  I only fell down twice and had tons of fun!  (check out my previous post for a video of one of the races).

Now onto today: the first thing on the schedule was Mass at 9:30 AM.  I scheduled myself to cantor it, so on Friday I got together with Aaron, the other guy who is in charge of musical stuff, who also happened to be the organist this weekend, and we picked out the hymns for today.  Unfortunately, at this time I don't remember all of them (opening, offertory  Communion, and recessional) but the opening one was Forty Days and Forty Nights.  - Sorry, my brain is pretty tired, and I'm just drawing a blank -  I managed to pull off everything, even chanting the responsorial psalm without any disasters (it was my 2nd time doing it), except the hymn for the offertory.  Anyway, that was getting on just great; I started on key, with the organ, hitting all the notes correctly, the other guys even joined in singing, and then I got to the 3rd verse, at which point I started singing the fourth...  Yeah, I was oblivious for about a line, then, during the second line, I was trying to figure out why everybody was singing something different from me, and then (3rd line now) Aaron started singing the correct verse, and I finally figured out where I went wrong...  I actually don't know how noticeable it was to everybody else - at Brute the organ/cantor are in the back, so I was possibly drowned out by the organ and everybody else - that's what I'm hoping anyway.  Ah well, it seems as soon as I'm feeling full of myself (just pulled off the responsorial psalm right!), God gives me a dose of humility...  

For lunch one of they guy's family came in to cook us lunch.  As always it was fantastic; lasagna  salad, garlic bread, and a strawberry-pie-on-a-cookie dessert.  Yeah, it was awesome!

Next, for the first time, I went to pray (with a few guys) in front of the abortion clinic.  I'll just note that it was a wonderful experience and leave the details for another post.  (Gosh, I feel like I keep relegating some tidbit to another post and then never get to it...  Sorry, these things take time, and I just don't have much right now...)

When we got back from that around 2:30 we went for a run.  This time we had another guy join the normal group of us (bring the total to 5), who happens to generally run a bit faster than our typical 7:40 pace (more on that in a bit).  It's really funny; I used to always laugh at  those crazy runners that are out pounding the pavement when it's freezing outside.  Well, that's been me for the last week; today was actually a bit warmer than our last run, and it was maybe a bit above 30 degrees.  After a mile or two you do warm up, but until then it's pretty chilly.  Anyway, today was our higher mileage day, so we were doing a four mile loop.  Josh, the "new" guy to our group, really floored the pace when we made the last turn about 2/3 of a mile from Brute (which happens to be 2/3 of a mile uphill) and I drifted slowly off the back.  Thankfully, the other guys were feeling the burn and also began to drift apart, but I only managed to catch up to one of them in the last sprint...  It turned out to be a faster time per mile (under 7:30) then what we typically do for 3 miles, so, yeah, we were cruising.  It was good for me I'm sure, but I'm still pretty sore.

After getting back from the run, I took a hot shower, and then studied with some guys for a theology test on Friday.   (I had avoided doing any schoolwork on Sundays so far this semester, but I was pressed for time, and it was theology, so I did it.)  Then I Skyped with the family until almost 7, when we have a community Holy Hour, and then I ate some dinner, watched a show with the guys, worked on the blog, and now I'm off to bed.  Have a great Monday folks; do something fun!

Ever since I entered seminary, I have found that I have been "stretching myself" in the (good) sense of growing and pushing my comfort zone.  Well, this morning I had yet another chance to do this.

 

One of the guys couldn't be here today, and since it was his day to lead the divine office, he asked me to fill in for him.  Of course, I said sure, and then remembered that I hadn't ever done it before.  (I think I did morning prayer one time in the context of Mass where it is a bit simpler).  Anyway, so this morning, since it is Sunday, we do morning prayer before Mass, so I had to get up in front of everybody (gulp), and lead the angelus (I'm glad I had a card) the opening hymn (thankfully I knew it), the psalms (easy), the canticle (chanted), the Our Father (not hard), and whatever parts I forgot to mention (all in all pretty nervous 10 minutes).  I pulled it off, didn't wreck the chanting, didn't miss anything, and feel much better about doing it in the future.

 

Of course, that wasn't the end of my morning.  This was also the first time I have cantored on Sunday.  I guess it's kind of ironic that the guy in charge of the cantors hasn't done Sunday Mass yet, but I just wasn't scheduled to do it last semester.  On a typical weekday all you have to do as a cantor is start the opening hymn and sing the Alleluia (Praise to You Lord Jesus Christ Kind of endless glory in lent) with the gospel acclimation - in other words, typically not hard.  However, this Sunday I had to do the opening hymn (thankfully, with the organ because I didn't really know the song), and then the dreaded Responsorial Psalm.  This is what I was really worried about; you all know the drill, the cantor chants/sings the responsorial and the congregation follows and then the cantor moves on by chanting/singing the verses, for lack of a better word, of the psalm.  It is totally a-capella, ie: no organ, so I had to learn (and remember!) how to do the chanting.  Of course, looking back it was pretty simple, but at the time I was pretty nervous.  Well, Mass wasn't over yet, but it was all reasonably easy from there on.  The schola did the song at the offertory and the hymn during Communion, so that was easy.  I did have to do the sanctus, mysterium fidei, and agnus dei, but other than these being in Latin they were pretty simple (I again had the organ, so that helped).  Then it was just the closing hymn and I was done. 

 

Dreading would be too strong of a word to describe how I was feeling about this morning, but I definitely was nervous.  Thankfully, each time I do a new thing (and thank goodness don't mess it up) gives me more experience and greater confidence in the future.  Great times!