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Last Day in the USA
Alright, so I'm trying to get back into the whole blogging about my day thing (if that makes sense) so here I am in St. Louis, it's closing in on midnight, and I'm pecking away at this Bluetooth keyboard (connected to a cheap tablet that is the stand-in for my computer for the next few weeks) and I decided to write up a quick (yeah right) blog post!
So, today began - after a long day yesterday of stressing out about what I needed to pack/bring in my suitcase with me - with 8 AM Mass at St. Francis. It was great to begin the day with Holy Mass - we've been going to noon Mass at St. Rose on most days - it just made sure my heart was in the right place when the day began. Following Mass, we went over to Underbrinks (a local bakery) to pick up some breakfast, but ended up at Daylight Donuts because Underbrinks was closed for the week. After some tasty donuts, I was back in packing mode and started shoving the last bit of stuff in my suitcase and trying (with little success) to fit all the notebooks and other remaining stuff in my backpack (I was trying really hard to keep everything in just those two bags). As it turned out, I got most everything squeezed in there, but my one large suitcase was over the 50lb weight limit - it was pretty densely packed, what can I say - so I spent another half hour or something carefully taking things out (I was legitimately counting ounces as things came out) and got my bag down to 49lbs. We'll see what the baggage people say tomorrow, but I think I'll barely fit under the limit.
For lunch the entire family went over to the Veteran's Home and had lunch with a previous pastor of ours (from several years back). It was good to see him again, and good to see that he was doing pretty well (though he does seem to be going downhill a bit). Dad had made a delicious lunch with leftover burgers and bacon (along with other stuff, but I'm currently focusing on eating as much American food as I can, so that is what jumped out), which undoubtabely made the event that much more awesome.
Anyway, we then quickly ran home, I grabbed a few things that I had remembered that I had forgotten (if that makes any sense) and we hit the road to St. Louis. It was a moment of both excitement and trepidation and - you know - a bit of emotion as I walked out of the house that I had grown up in, and always fondly returned to, knowing that I wouldn't be back for a couple of years. I'll miss it - it's home... On the road I typed addresses and phone numbers into my new tablet (so I can keep in touch with people back home) and after a couple of hours of that excitement we arrived at my grandparent's house in the St. Peters area. We chatted for just a bit and then drove down into down-town St. Louis to the Cathedral.
Because my flight leaves so early tomorrow (I have to be at the airport at 7 AM), we were going to go to the Saturday Evening Mass of anticipation (to be precise!), and I hadn't been to the St. Louis Cathedral in a while and so that's where we went. Well, what can I say, it is breathtaking. I've been to Rome a few years back for just a week or two and I think that this cathedral is preparing me well for my return there. Just a huge, stunning, ornate, heavenly, beautiful place of worship - you can't help but feel the presence of God! Oh, and the homily (given by a transitional deacon - I assume for the Archdiocese of St. Louis) was also excellent.
He was talking about the parable of the seed that falls on different kinds of soil and originally he mentioned that he was planning on preaching about evangelization - how we must be sowers of God's seed. But then he said that he had read the catechism section about this scripture passage and found that his focus should rather be on us, individually, who must make the choice to convert (turn back) to God, to truly listen to what Christ is calling US to, and to ask him - humbly - for the grace necessary to overcome our weaknesses and failings to follow that plan. Gosh, it's such a simple, foundational, message, but I need to be reminded of it so often. Following Christ isn't just reading about Him, His church, or His teaching (that's part of it), and it isn't just intellectually knowing that we should rely on Him and abandon ourselves to Him. It also, very importantly, is about dropping on our knees and begging Him to show us the way, to strengthen our wills, to soften the ground of our hearts so His word, and love, and grace can fill us and lead us. Sometimes I think that I consider this too simple, but that humble, simple, complete reliance on God is what the spiritual journey is all about. We are called to do little things with great love (words of Mother Theresa), not great things with whatever love we can come up with ourselves. Great love, divine love, only comes from Christ. The words, the seed, the vocation, the faith, only comes from Him! I did try to track down the exact quote he pulled from the catechism, but I was unfortunately unable to dig it out (limited resources here...) Basically, it was a magnificent reminder - to me at least - that I really need to just throw myself down in front of Our Lord and give Him everything, no offering up this day, or this sacrifice, or this cross, or weakness, or whatever - actually telling Him to take me completely - all my talents, all my disordered attachments, all my failings, all my fears, all my weaknesses, all my abilities - and use me for His will. Humility is realizing our ranking in comparison to God - yeah, nilch - and then realizing that He has entrusted us, has planned for us, some path that will bring us to perfect happiness with Him, and further realizing that we can't even accept/strive after this gift without His help (we're that weak and broken and attached to sin). But God is love, He gives Himself to us every day in the Holy Eucharist, and every other Sacrament, and so many other moments of grace, and we just need to remember to beg Him to soften our hard hearts, to help us to open ourselves to Him. It's hard, but even that is the wrong way to think about it because on our own it's impossible.
Alright, so I could go on, but I won't. The homily was excellent - that was only part of it, the few minutes we explored the basilica after Mass was incredible - so many awesome mosaics, and the dinner we had afterwards was about as American as they come - golden corral! It was a great day, now it's way past the time I should have gone to bed, and with no means of getting the pictures from my camera to my tablet, I guess for now this post will have to be a boring wall-of-text.
Night folks! God bless! Say a quick prayer for me tomorrow as I say good-by to my family and board a plane for Rome! Man, I can't wait! God is great!
