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A Year in Review, a Year of Blessings (2014 was Awesome!)


Oftentimes around Christmas time people send out letters to their family and friends about what they've been up to that year.  It's a good way to update everybody in a personal - but mass-produced - way as to how you are doing and, you know, the cool stuff that has happened in your life since the letter last year.  Well, this, I guess, is a bit like that.  However, I was thinking about doing the usual "year in review" but it didn't seem like the best kind of thing to talk about while contemplating Christmas. You know, here we are preparing for, and celebrating, the entrance of Our Lord into the world to save, redeem, and adopt us, but I'm instead going to spend the entire letter talking about myself, the things I've been up to, or gotten to see/do/experience/eat/enjoy, etc. - it just doesn't seem like the focus is on the right place.  But, at the same time, I know that many of you are interested in what I've been up to - especially in the transition over here to Rome - so, sticking with the tried and true answer of "D - all of the above" (in the Catholic theology/philosophy world, we use the term "both/and".), I think I'll write both about what I've been doing and how that has been such an incredible blessing from God.  Basically, I've begun to see all these amazing experiences in terms of Divine Providence, as blessings given by God to show me his love and bring me to Himself.  It's an amazing way to see things because not only does it open your (my) eyes to see God's incredible love and generosity, but it also shows Him working in my life, in forming me, guiding me, and opening me to Himself.  This reflecting back is part of the process of knowing oneself, it's super important in seminary and for the priest-in-training (as well as pretty much everybody else), but more than that, it just gives me a bigger picture than the nose-to-the-ground view that I usually have which is either "I can't wait to do X!" or "Ugh, I have so much to do today".  So, starting at the very beginning (it's a very good place to start!), here's the year that I've been blessed with!



The year began - after a wonderful Christmas break spent with family, filled with fun, and the excitement/trepidation of applying to the North American College - with a return to Bishop Brute College Seminary for my last semester of college seminary.  As during my entire time there, I felt extremely blessed to be back with the daily schedule of prayer and Mass and formation, the 40 or so other guys, my last set of "under-grad" classes.  



Adoration in the Chapel at Bishop Brute
First: Prayer and Formation.  Those few months, as in previous semesters, were marked - day after day - by the incredible blessing of consistent, frequent, and intense prayer.  From a purely human point of view, waking up at 5:45 every day to go to Mass and pray Morning Prayer in common with the other seminarians, spending 20 minutes saying the rosary between classes, coming back together for Evening Prayer, and then doing another hour of prayer before going to bed seems crazy.  Literally, as a seminarian, you spend at least 2 hours in the chapel every day!  But those hours were by far the best of each day!  Was I always attentive? - Nope.  Was I always consoled by some sort of overwhelming peace and joy? - Nope.  Were they productive? - Nope, not really.  But, moment after moment, day after day, week after week; all that time spent being with God, offering Him my failures, and joys, and gradually learning to trust, and love, and obey, from Our Lord Himself, is absolutely transformative!  I started to crave the times when I could drop to my knees and gaze at Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament and re-commit myself to following Him.  Don't get me wrong, seminary is amazing (it's not all offering things up...), but much of that awesomeness comes from seeing everything - easy and hard, fun and not-so-much, exciting and boring - with the eyes of faith, from God's perspective, seeing everything as a blessing, everything as a gift, and that only happens by constantly being with Him and listening to Him.  The seminary schedule is intense, it's busy, it's tough, but it's also an amazing chance to grow in love for God, and the love of God - when you're open to it - is pretty amazing!  Formation, briefly, was also very good.  Brute has been blessed with great priests, who consistently inspired us to that growth, and conversion, and openness to God that not only is integral to discerning and following one's vocation, but also has become for me such a source of peace and joy.



After running the Race For Vocations Half-Marathon
Second: All those other guys.  I really can't emphasize how great all the other men were at Brute.  I got to know all of them so well (there was only 40-something of us), and we had an absolute blast together.  Exercising, not my favorite activity, was a ton more fun when you had other guys to do it with - even when it was 25 degrees outside and you had to go on that 5 mile run.  Plus, at the end of the semester, having endured all those early morning runs with a couple of guys, I again ran in the Indianapolis half-marathon!  Not only was it a blessing to have those other guys pushing and encouraging me, and being able to crush my goal of 100 minutes, but during those runs I was given a great opportunity to grow in the virtue of perseverance.  One of the best motivators to keep the pace up (or just keep the legs moving) after 10 or 12 miles of pounding the pavement, I found, was to pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet.  Music-listening is great, but there's nothing quite like praying "Eternal Father ... increase Your mercy in us, that in difficult moments we might not despair ... but, with great confidence, submit ourselves to Your most holy will, which is love and mercy itself."  It's hard to complain about that last hill - or stop to walk - when you are thinking about the hill of Golgotha that Our Lord climbed for our sake!   Playing other sports (football, frisbee, soccer, racquet-ball, hockey, ping-pong) was - no sacrifices necessary - always a great time, as was the time when we went out to eat or cooked something together.  Not only were these times of fun games or good food, but, more importantly, they were times of growing in fraternity, generosity, and joy.  One of the many such fun times was my 21st birthday that I celebrated with a bunch of other guys at the end of the semester (finishing up while still 20!).  Basically, pretty much everything - studying, watching movies, meandering through Indianapolis, doing yard work, waiting in line at Subway, carpooling, making breakfast, getting ice-cream, etc. - was legitimately fun, even when otherwise it wouldn't have been!   They were (and are) a great group of guys, and I was abundantly blessed to have spent a year or two learning, growing, and having fun with them!



Third: Classes.  It was about as challenging a semester as they come, with 19 credit hours total and 12 in philosophy, but intellectually, it turned out fantastic!  God and Philosophy class: yep, it involved a huge paper at the end, immense amounts of deep, tough, reading for each class, and the tests were terrifying, but I was learning to use my rational/intellectual/mental capacity to realize things about God, and fall in love with Him all the more - how do you beat that?  Much the same can be said about my other classes (Logic, Modern/Contemporary Philosophy, Catholic Schools, New Testament, Philosophical Themes in Catholic Authors, and Abnormal Psychology); they weren't always exciting, none were easy, I had the usual assortment of long-papers, tricky quizzes, nerve-wracking presentations, and exams on top of exams, and it was a constant challenge to stay on top of everything, but despite the difficulty, I learned a ton, had a great time studying/learning with the other seminarians, and was able to - better than ever before - make that all-important connection between growing in human knowledge and growing closer to Our Lord, not only because He is the source of truth (Truth itself), and not only because it was Him that blessed me with a productive, successful, and intellectually-awesome semester, but also because in the midst of those late nights, and stressful cramming sessions, and tough days, I grew to trust Him more and approached a bit more to Him on the cross.  



God will not be out-done in generosity!  Perhaps more than anything, my last semester at Brute taught me this truth!  Give God a little - a couple more minutes of prayer when you're really busy, that last mile of your run when you're beat, remaining positive when that professor drops another impossible quiz on you - and, boom!, He will not only shower blessings in the sense of stuff that you'd like (time for enjoying yourself, great friends, a diploma), but also those things that you didn't see coming (joy in prayer, growth in generosity, understanding).  



Vacation with the Family in Washington State
Moving along here...  The summer was busy, and amazing.  I had been accepted in April to come to the North American College to begin my studies in theology, so after getting everything moved out of Brute and back home, I began the process of starting to get things ready for my move over to Italy in July.  Originally, looking at the calendar, I thought I'd have plenty of free time, but after serving for the ordination, and one of the first Masses, of the new priests for our diocese (both amazing and inspirational experiences!), going back and forth to Chicago to apply for my study-visa (which I got!), enjoying a family vacation to Washington (sometimes-peaceful, sometimes-exhilarating, always-wonderful), going skydiving with a couple of other Brute guys (by my standards, crazy, but ... yeah ... crazy), helping lead a vocation retreat/camp at Brute (which re-inspired my own vocation with all those enthusiastic young men, powerful moments of prayer, and phenomenal talks), and having the requisite going-away BBQ with friends and family, I didn't have much time left.  All those things certainly were fun, but at the same time they were the mile-stones marking my eventual departure to Rome, again, an exciting proposition, but at the same time one that filled me with dismay at the thought of leaving behind everything and everyone that I knew and loved.  But, looking back, once again I am reminded of God's providence throughout the entire time - everything came together correctly, I had many great times with my family and friends who I had to say goodby to, and - on an even deeper level - God was able to bring myself to trusting Him a bit more and giving myself a bit more freely to His will.  (I'm not perfect, by any means, but it's so cool to see God - patiently, lovingly, generously - drawing me, through all these things, bit-by-bit closer to Himself).



The View of Rome that I'm blessed with here at the NAC
And then the big moment came.  I gave my family one last hug, and stepped into the TSA line in St. Louis.  Several hours later I was at my terminal in Newark, meeting many of the men from around the country who I'd be spending the next several years with.  Then, a long flight and short bus ride later, I was in Rome and moving into the North American College.  It's a large complex - housing 250 seminarians and a couple dozen priests - and is the place where we pray (in one of a 4, soon to be 5, chapels), eat (in the large refectory or sometimes in the student-kitchen/roof-top terrace), sleep (everybody has a small room of their own, mine is on the 4th floor), hang out (each hall has a lounge, and there is also a larger tv-room, auditorium, and public game room as well), play sports (we have a large, turf, field, as well as basketball and tennis courts), and have formation conferences and other assorted meetings (in the assortment of classrooms that we have here).  Pretty much, we do everything-seminary related here, except for classes (more on that later).


The Holy Stairs
So, that first week was "pre-orientation".  In other words, it was all about getting us to know each other (both my own class-mates as well as the 2nd year men who were running the week), the NAC itself (expectations, ground rules, where things are, what the daily life is like...), and Rome (I usually woke up pretty early and just wandered around the city for a bit, but we also had multiple, awesome, excursions to the different major sites/churches/places around the city.)  It was a magnificent week!  Of course, though, the best blessings wasn't the food, or the fun we had, or the excitement of being and seeing Rome, but instead the supernatural ones.  All those churches were most amazing not because of their history, or significance, or grandeur, but because they were meant to, and quite good at, lifting the mind and heart to God.  The beautiful art and architecture, all interconnected in relating the story of God's salvific plan for humanity, constantly - despite my exhaustion from jet-lag and the intense schedule - reminded me of Him, and the opportunity to pray and attend Mass in such close proximity to the many saints who walked these same streets, and in the churches that so many pilgrims have visited for centuries, was incredible! 



Sienna!
Next up was two months of Italian studies.  The first month I spent in Assisi with about half of my class (20-something out of the almost 50 of us).  Each day began with 4 hours of classes, then lunch, then 2 more hours of class, and then we were free.  I'll be honest, learning Italian was (and still is) hard.  The 6 hours a day was particularly brutal, but gradually - piano, piano as they say - I began to memorize the basic vocabulary and get quicker at being able to utilize it.  During the month I also had the chance to explore the town of Assisi (beautiful basilicas, quaint little streets, good gelato, and multiple concerts and processions on feast days) and the surrounding areas and towns (more beautiful churches, gorgeous vistas over the Umbrian countryside), and, perhaps the most impressive, the palio (an incredible horse race) in Siena.  Thus, it was a fun couple weeks of experiencing Italian culture, all while getting to know the other guys who were with me and struggling together to learn the language.  After that first month we all returned to Rome where we had a couple weeks of orientation (basically, we were slowly introduced to the daily-schedule of life as well as some of the commitments that we have in seminary - formation, spiritual direction, (for me) choir, meals in common, prayer in common, etc.)  At the same time, we continued to take Italian classes, this time only 4 hours a day, and I finally began to see myself making some progress.  It never fell into my head as easily or quickly as I would have liked, but gradually I was more and more capable of carrying on a basic conversation, and, near the end of our classes, I managed to pass the Italian-comprehension exam to begin classes at the Gregorian! (Huge relief there!)  Pretty much, it was another exciting and blessed time.  The challenge of Italian bought us together as a class - and taught me patience and humility - as did the more enjoyable moments of exploring things over here - which were a learning experience as well.


Hiking Mt. Subasio on our first Fraternal Weekend (after Orientation)
There were two weeks between the end of Italian classes and the beginning of theology classes - the first a class-retreat in a little town called Greccio (near Assisi, actually).  It was my first week-long retreat, and it was my first silent retreat.  I thought it would be difficult, or at least uncomfortable - my plan was to enjoy the talks and extra time in prayer, but to spend a lot of the time hiking around the mountains in that area.  However, God had other plans.  From the first moment that I arrived, I was struck with an incredible - surely divine - peace and joy at being there.  The talks, and beautiful, powerful hours of prayer, left me, more than all the basilicas in Rome, in awe of the generosity, love, and benevolence of our God.  He becomes one of us, a little child, to give Himself to us not only then - in the manger, in His words, on the cross - but also now - in the Sacraments, in His abundant blessings, in His word.  It was all facts that I already knew, but that week they went from my mind to my heart, they weren't just facts, I felt God's love just filling and transforming me.  All those struggles of the past couple months, and those that I could see coming up, were nothing when I realized just how much God was willing to love, to help, to sustain me through them.  Following His plan isn't - I finally realized - so much about gritting your teeth and trying your best, it's about surrendering to Him not only to the extent of being willing to obey, but to the much more difficult, yet much more amazing, extent of offering back to Him all the struggles, and joys, the stressful moments and the amazing ones - He wants to transform them, to enter again into our lives, but - as at Bethlehem - He doesn't force Himself in.  


The Other Guys on My Hallway

And that, is the conclusion that all of this past year has left me with.  The ordination of deacons in St. Peter's Basilica the next week was an inspiration for my own vocation, and a fun week just in general (crazy fact: God willing, I'll be ordained a deacon in St. Peter's in 3 short years)!  My trip with some guys to the Eastern coast of Italy (we saw the shrine of St. Padre Pio, a cave where St. Michael appeared 1500 years ago, and the Eucharistic miracle of Lanciano, where the host became Christ's flesh during Mass, and has lasted until today) was a great final hurrah before classes started up, and another amazing spiritual experience.  The semester of classes - tough because of the Italian, cool because of the stuff we are learning (about Christ, the Church, Tradition, Faith, Hebrew, the Trinity, etc.) - has flown by and now I am beginning to prepare for exams in January/February.  The NAC has continued to be a phenomenal place to live - great other young men who are consistently kind, inviting, and tons of fun to be around, constant events and other enjoyable things to do each day (banquets, sports, bible-studies, skits, movies, and so much more), fantastic priests who have continuously amazed me with their insights in the spiritual life and their generosity to us seminarians, and so many other things!  The ability to go back to Alabama for my sister’s temporary profession stands out among everything else as another incredible blessing.  But there are so many other things that have also been amazing: a trip down to the Amalfi coast (where we saw some beautiful view of the Mediterranean as well as the tombs of St. Andrew, Matthew, Benedict, and Scholastica), winning the spaghetti bowl (NAC new men vs. NAC old men),  All of these things, everything that has happened over the past year, I have - especially during this season surrounding Christmas - realized were completely gifts from God.  Even that realization is His gift!  But, beyond all those things - a great experience at Brute, the chance to study here in Rome, good friends, fun times, a supportive and loving family, living 5 minutes from the Pope - God's gift of Himself to me each and every day - in those blessings, but even more profoundly in the incarnation, the Eucharist, moments of prayer, the scriptures, and even my theological studies - is the greatest gift of all.  



An Audience with Pope Francis
Christmas is a time when we give and receive gifts.  I hope and pray that your Christmas may be a chance to realize the gift that Our Lord gives to you - not only at this time, but all the time, both naturally and spiritually.  Don't think I'm perfect at this, at realizing God's many blessings and thanking Him for them, but I hope that my keeping them in mind while looking back at the year will help you to do the same!  Merry Christmas!

 A couple of big things have happened since I finished writing this post, namely, I served Christmas Mass for Pope Francis, and I took a trip to France, so, both of those will have to be given a post (or two) or their own!  Thus, consider this a "year" in review, that is missing the last 5 days or so...


The Nativity Scene going up at St. Peter's
sorry, I know it's now after Christmas, but it's the picture I have at the moment.
More to come!
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Simplicity - Making Room for Christ, and His Cross, Over Everything Else

Well, I have been really busy lately...  3 weeks ago we went on a family vacation out to Washington State - spending time at both Mt. Rainier and Olympic National Parks (both incredibly beautiful and spanning everything from alpine mountains, snow covered peaks, rain forests, the ocean, tons of waterfalls, and so much more) and enjoying a lot of great hiking, eating, kayaking, relaxing, reading, and hanging-out.  It was an absolute blast, and we all had a spectacular time spending time with each other.  Then this last week, after being home for a day, I went over to Brute for the week for something called Brute Days, during which almost 40 young guys (!) from 7th grade and up, came and listened to talks, prayed in common, played sports, and chatted with us seminarians (of which I was happy to be one).  It was not only a great time, and reminded me of similar camps that I greatly enjoyed from years past, it also was an incredible spiritual experience for me personally.  I got to return to praying the divine office in common (something I found I missed from the last month of doing it on my own), and spend an hour in adoration each day (also something I missed), and on top of that all the talks we got were absolutely phenomenal (on the virtues especially important to the priest: charity, humility, simplicity, obedience, and chastity, as well as how the Eucharist is fundamental to, the foundation of, and the font from which all those virtues flow), as were the small-group conversations we had with the guys afterwards (so many great ideas on how to make those virtues concrete in our lives)!  It was wonderful!

This post, though, because typing something about all of that would take me a tremendous amount of time that I don't have (you know, packing for Rome, heading down to Alabama to visit my sister, and a few other little things are keeping me busy), will be about just one of those talks/virtues: simplicity.  

I guess I'll just start with the obvious.  Simplicity is the diocesan "version" of the first of the first of the evangelical virtues (poverty, chastity, obedience).  Basically, since diocesan priests can't take a vow of poverty - because they often don't live in community, and so, need to own things in order to do their "job" - they instead are expected to live a life of simplicity.  What does that mean? - The exact same thing it means for all the other virtues: putting Christ absolutely first.  If you think about it, all the virtues boil down to this incredibly simple task.  CCC 1803: "A virtue is an habitual and firm disposition to do the good. It allows the person not only to perform good acts, but to give the best of himself. The virtuous person tends toward the good with all his sensory and spiritual powers; he pursues the good and chooses it in concrete actions. The goal of a virtuous life is to become like God."  Simplicity and poverty, then, is directed specifically at the area of material, earthly, temporal stuff.  The reality is that we are surrounded, distracted, even bombarded, by things every day.  Stuff, gadgets, entertainment, possessions, fun, relaxation, adventures, whatever - most of the time these things aren't inherently bad/sinful, often times they can be good: when God created the material world, "He saw it was good" - but, these things can turn us away from God if we inordinately desire them, if we place them above God in our lives.  Simplicity is desiring everything as it truly is, God as the greatest good, and everything else as lesser-goods that can lead us to God, or give glory to God.  Like the other virtues, this is the basic orientation of oneself towards the good (which is God); it's "pointing" ourselves towards God above all else and habitually, constantly, continuously choosing to direct our hearts toward God, and not all those things that distract us from Him.

Now, simplicity, in real life, involves giving things up.  Again, it's not like everything around us is bad, quite the contrary, but all-too-often, because of the world (we live in a society that puts pleasure above everything), the flesh (we are weak - fancy term: concupiscence), and the devil (who wants to turn us away from God) we find ourselves overly attached to physical stuff, temporal pleasures, and worldly possessions.  Basically, we put these things above God in the ordering of our lives.  Nicer cars, bigger TVs, newer phones, fancier clothing, expensive vacations - these aren't necessarily bad things - but all-too-often we choose these things ahead of God.  We skip giving money to charity in order to buy that newer car, or we watch that TV instead of saying a daily rosary, or we spend time playing Angry Birds instead of talking with God or neighbor.  Examples abound, basically, our task, our challenge, is to order those things correctly.  To give our first-fruits to God - and then enjoy them ourselves, to force ourselves to spend that extra time in prayer - instead of on Facebook, to get rid of the clutter, and distractions, and attractions that lead us away from God - and choose Him.

It's incredibly hard!  I struggle with all these same things - which is probably why this talk, and this virtue, really resonated with me - but the fact is that if we put anything in front of God in our choices, decisions, actions, and lives in general, we aren't becoming virtuous, we won't learn to love God, and we can't become saints.  Christ promised us eternal happiness, but only if we pick up our cross now, tackle those things that keep us from following Him, and get to work accepting God into our hearts and lives.  It's pretty basic: if our lives are focused on something other than God, then we can't truly receive Christ into our hearts, where He wants to take up His dwelling and fill us with His love, joy, peace, and everything else good.  We just celebrated Corpus Christi - praising and thanking Christ for the gift of Himself that He gives us at every Mass - but, guess what, if we are attached to tons of other passing, unnecessary, and otherwise, non-eternal, things, then our hearts aren't fully ready to receive Him.  I'm not saying we are automatically in mortal sin or something, that requires a much more decisive turning away from God (grave matter, full knowledge, full consent - just to be precise), but until we are striving to clear everything away between us and God, there will be a disconnection - on our end - between us and Him. All the virtues involve the cross because all involve us trusting God more than ourselves, opening our hearts to Him, and not something else.  Simplicity, as well as poverty, is a habitual choice on our part to clear away the things that contaminate, or maybe just fill, our heart and soul, and make way for Christ to fill us with His own love and His own life.

All-Night Adoration during Brute Days
some of the best prayer that I have done (alright, He did it, not me) in a while!
Alright, time to get practical.  One of the other seminarians that was helping out with the retreat, and who I was very glad to be teamed up with (we were both leaders of group 1 - the crusaders), always reiterated to the guys that if they couldn't come up with some practical way to work on these virtues, daily, then most likely they wouldn't make much progress.  Face it, it's hard to habitually do anything, much less something that requires us to put our own (misguided) desires behind us, and instead choose Christ; something that requires us to give up worldly things, hoping for the heavenly things to come.  It's hard to have that insight from faith that allows us to give up momentary pleasures for the sake of eternal ones!  If we don't find a way to work on it every single day, then we aren't going to grow in virtue (remember: it's a habit).  So, how to work on simplicity:  First, pray.  Prayer is opening oneself up to God, and that is exactly what all the virtues require, including simplicity.  Turning ourselves towards God is only possible with His grace, and that grace only can come to the soul open to receiving it!  Furthermore, specifically in the area of simplicity, make it a practice to pray about purchases before you make them - trust me, it's harder to buy that electronic gadget (usually what I am interested in) if you pray about it and really discern whether it will lead you closer to God (of course, if it will, by all means, buy it - if you can afford it).  Second, examine your conscience.  I don't know about you, but I usually neglect this area of life when examining my conscience.  Yeah, I was angry, or I didn't pray, or I over-ate, but I rarely consider the times where I indulged too much in temporal things.  I rarely ask where did I get upset because I didn't get as nice of ___ as I wanted?  Or, when did I spend too much time on the computer?  Or, how did I put something before God today?  It's a big topic, and a tough one, but give it a go!  Third, give something up.  I've already covered prayer, and the second weapon in our spiritual arsenal, fasting can also be an aid to virtue - temperance probably more than simplicity - but the final thing: almsgiving, is directly aimed at increasing simplicity and a poverty of spirit (making room for Christ).  When we give something away - money, clothes, unnecessary belongings, whatever - we detach ourselves from it, and great blessings will certainly follow (an immediate one being a greater pleasure in the smaller - and more important - things, as well as a more intense love for Christ and awareness to His presence and will).  Not only will we be making more room for Christ in our lives, but we will also be uniting ourselves with His cross (in a tiny, little way), and showing love of our neighbor at the same time (which, Christ tells us, is love for Him) - you absolutely can't beat it!  So, choose some little way that you will increase your prayer life - seriously, say an extra Hail Mary every day, it doesn't have to be big, just not sporadic - redouble your diligence in examining your conscience - again, don't overdo it, just figure out where you are failing and resolve to do better tomorrow - and finally, figure out something to give away, or go without - again, not big, but do it every week, or month, or something! 

To conclude!  Christ promises us that "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven".  I can't think of a better goal than that: perfect happiness with God forever!  The difficulty, of course, is allowing God to make us poor in spirit.  He so wants to fill us with Himself - just look at the price He paid to enter our world!  But, He will only give us what we want! 

I've been recently graced with the instigation (that talk and retreat) and opportunity to really focus down on this particular virtue.  Going off to Rome means I have to carefully choose what I am taking with me, and that means simplifying my life, and getting rid (or at least leaving behind) a lot of stuff that has previously filled and constrained my heart.  Christ - I know - is directly challenging me to (literally) leave behind "houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or farms" for Him (Matthew 19:29) so that He can give me "many times as much, and [eventually] eternal life".   (Oh, also, my computer power-cord broke, which is one of the reasons I haven't blogged much, but it is also a chance to work on simplicity - thanks Lord!)

The virtue of simplicity - poverty in spirit - is a difficult and underestimated one, especially in our day and age which constantly emphasizes that wealth, prestige, and pleasure are the ultimate good (notice how that brings in the virtues of humility and temperance along with simplicity).  Our task - as much as the term is overused - is to live counter-culturally.  At Christ's time it was counter-cultural to follow Him, and it still is.  Christ doesn't move - He's always awaiting us at the foot of the cross - but our world is always trying to find away to the joy and love of Christ without approaching the cross.  Guess what, it isn't possible.  Thankfully, Christ gives us all the graces we need in order to brave that cross, to shed those things that pull us away from Him, to ignore, and stand up to, the world that wants us to try and find our own joy, our own love.  Christ, as for all the virtues, is the model of simplicity, our task is to emulate Him, to constantly work to accept His grace (especially from Holy Communion), and to turn our lives ever more fully over to Him.  The message isn't going to change, but will we?
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To all the guys at Brute - Thank You!

During finals week - wow, that was only like 2 weeks ago (it feels like so much longer) - owe had the annual baccalaureate Mass on campus at Marian.  This Mass, though open to anybody, was meant as a final ceremony honoring and celebrating the soon-to-graduate class of 2014.  The chapel was packed with seniors and their families and for the first time that I've seen, I struggled to find a seat at a Mass at Marian (which is really cool).  Mass was pretty typical for Marian - with the music that we all like to complain about, but wasn't actually all that bad - and it included a procession of graduates in at the beginning and (for lack of better words) a flower giving ceremony at the end.  Basically, before the priests and servers processed out they asked all the seniors to come up and receive 3 carnations, which they would then give to 3 people who had had a big impact on their college career, a good friend, or a positive influence - you know, somebody who was important in some way to their lives.  

The first one I gave to Fr. Bob immediately following Mass and the second one I gave to my parents when they arrived the next day.  Both were obvious recipients for my flowers - my parents brought me up in the faith, supported my vocation all along, loved me beyond belief, and in every way are the best of parents (THANKS MOM & DAD), and Fr. Bob has had a tremendous impact on my life these past 2 years, not only as a formator but also as an example of a loving, humble priest and a man who has dedicated his life to serving Christ (THANKS FATHER).  Now, of course, I had one flower left, and it took me a while to decide what to do with it.  There were certainly plenty of candidates - teachers who managed to get all that philosophy into my head, another one of the priests at Brute, my academic adviser, another one of the guys... - in the end though I didn't give it to any of those people (worthy though they were).  Instead, I gave it to all the guys at Brute.


Of course, most of them were gone by the end of finals week (when I got the flower), so I left it on the mantle place and took a picture of it.  And then, predictably, I forgot to write this post until now (leaving anybody who saw the pink carnation at Brute still bewildered and everybody who didn't see it oblivious).  Well, here's the post to rectify that situation!  I want to send a big THANK YOU to all the seminarians at Brute during my time there.  You guys were (and are) fantastic!  I enjoyed every minute of my time with you - from your enthusiastic welcomes as I first wheeled my stuff into the "castle", to the many dinners out at different restaurants (American, Chinese, Italian, Mexican, Indian, Greek - you name it, we tried it), to the fun lake-side parties, campfires, bbq's, and community dinners, to the movies we watched together (and which you opened my eyes to - for better or worse), to the ice-skating, football, basketball, soccer, racquetball, dodgeball, and frisbee, schola practice, limbo in the hallway, all the times that I was sore from laughing so hard - I have never had quite as much fun as I did with you guys!  I also learnt a ton from you - you taught me how to come out of my shell, but not be immature, how to joke around, but when to be serious, how to attend Mass reverently, but not stoically, how to do philosophy, without being too weird, how to live the faith and spread the gospel, all in love, how to discern God's will, and to not give up in the hard times.  Literally, in countless ways, you guys were huge parts of my growth so far in seminary.  You made me a better man in every way: academically (all those times studying for Plato/Aristotle, psychology, ethics, calculus, metaphysics, logic, and everything else), spiritually (praying the divine office in common, all those conversations about meditation, liturgy, prayer, all those times when we ended the day together in a Holy Hour, those times when we would get together in the middle of the day to pray a rosary, or mid-day prayer), and in so many other ways...


I could go on and on, but basically, you guys were fantastic teachers - in pretty much every area that seminary necessitates growth in, the best of examples to me in how to go about discernment, prayer, and advancement in the spiritual life, and really, truly, were incredibly important in my learning about (and hopefully advancing in) every kind of virtue - humility, charity, perseverance, joy, courage, chastity, etc.  And all of those things I leaned while having an absolute blast!  I know a flower is a bit cheesy, but please know it is so much more than a flower.  You guys made seminary not only fun, you made it an incredible learning experience.  God willing, in a few years (wow, that's scary) when I'm ordained, I will have been significantly shaped by my time spent with all of you.  Thanks for everything guys (and everything that I forgot), keep in touch!
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The Race for Vocations - Training, Praying, Running, Finishing (and everything in between)

Chris, Willie, Fr. Joe, Eamon, Myself, Aaron, and Dominic - what a great group of guys!
(yes, I am standing on my tip-toes - I thought the camera wouldn't catch that...)

While I haven't posted on it too much, myself and a few other Brute guys ran in the same mini-marathon as we did last year.  The half-marathon itself was last Saturday (May 3rd), but this post will try to encompass all the training and whatnot we did during the semester.


Training began about 8 weeks before the run (so back right after the end of spring break).  The plan we found online had us doing four runs each week and started out with runs of 3 or 4 miles long.  I had been doing a bit of running (on treadmills) on the weeks leading up to that, so I felt great for the first few weeks.  Then, to my great surprise, I found that even as the runs got longer (after a few weeks), I still wasn't struggling too much.  Actually, I was running faster, further, and more easily than ever before.  Last year, at the end of our training (when we were at our fastest), I ran a 4 mile route in 26:50, which is a bit faster than a 7 minute mile.  This year, at the beginning of our training, I ran it in 28 minutes, but within a few weeks I was running it faster than I did last year and by the second week of April I ran the same route in 25:46 (6:35 minutes per mile).  Another example: last year I ran the eight mile training route in barely under an hour (7:38 pace), but this year, again near the end of our eight weeks, I ran I slightly longer route in 56:44 (7:04 pace).  Now, to say that I was running faster than before isn't to say that I was putting in less effort.  There were certainly times when I felt terrible (like when I ran 6 miles on the treadmill - yeah, not much fun), or my legs were absolutely dead (like after our 12 mile run when we struggled along slowly the entire time), or when I attempted to play ultimate Frisbee after running those 12 miles (and my legs started seizing up and spasm-ing)...  Overall I was certainly in better condition than last year (often running faster than Willie and Dominic, who usually set a brutal pace last year).  

During all those runs - whether hard, or really hard - I found that the absolutely best way to pass the time and the long, leg-pounding miles.  If I was cruising along without too much difficulty, I found that myself meditating really well on the mysteries (it was easy to get the idea/picture of each mystery in my head), and when I was struggling to keep my legs moving, or completely out of energy at the end of a long run, I found that meditating on the mysteries kept me going.  Even if my legs were completely dying, there was no way I was going to stop and walk while in the middle of contemplating Our Lord carrying His cross (or another mystery).  Most of the other guys listened to music, but breaking my iPod turned out to be a blessing in disguise as it made me realize just how good of an opportunity running offers for prayer.  

Another benefit of all that running (25 or so miles a week during our longest weeks) was that it forced me to keep exercising.  If I hadn't been forced to keep training, I certainly wouldn't have exercised anywhere near that often (or that hard), and I probably would have neglected to do much exercise at all, especially during those last few, tough and busy weeks.  Exercise, as I learned in psychology class, is the best "antidote" to stress and I can vouch from experience that I feel much better after exercising (and don't feel as bad about eating a good meal during community dinners and the like).  The negative of that constant training though was that my legs were often tired and sore when I wanted to play a game of Frisbee or football (and so I couldn't play as hard as I would have liked).  

Mass for Vocations
(I got to hold the missal for Bp. Doherty)
Anyway, after all that training, eventually the big day came of the actual mini-marathon.  The night before we had attended (and I got to serve at) the Mass for vocations, which was a great reminder of what (and Who) we were running for, and we also enjoyed a large pasta dinner afterwards to charge up our muscles for the next day.  On the morning of the race, Luke generously drove us downtown and dropped us off a few blocks from the starting zone.  We worked our way down to Washington street (where the race starts) and joined the crowd that was filling the different corrals.  A few minutes later the first wave was started and the second wave (the one Dominic, Willie, Chris, and myself were in) moved up to the start line.  I was surprised to find that we were pretty close to the front of the crowd with only 10 or so rows of people in front of me (last year we were buried back in the middle of the crowd).  After a few minutes the countdown started and then, with the music absolutely pounding (which was great!), we took off.  I didn't know if we were going to stick together or not - we had been more spread out in training than last year - and I ended up starting at a really fast pace, whereas they weren't as crazy and stuck with a pace they knew they could keep up...  So, I was on my own when the crowd surged past the first mile (and I found that I had just ran it in 7:00 - way fast!).  I knew that I was going fast, but my legs - while a little bit sore - weren't protesting too much and I was breathing easily, so I just kept going.  Mile 2: 14 minutes - uh oh, this is pretty fast.  Mile 3.1 (the 5k mark): 21:49 - you have got to be kidding, I just tied for my fastest (timed) 5k!...  

Still, I was feeling pretty good, so I just kept going at a pace that was comfortable and gradually it started to slow down.  My legs were starting to feel legitimately tired by the time I hit the 5 mile mark, but I was nearing the Indianapolis 500 track, so I kept my mind off the pain by looking for the group of guys that were coming to cheer us on from Brute.  I didn't see them on my way into the track so I figured that they had scoped out a spot near the exit and so, in I went.  There was a pretty good sized ramp up into the track, but my legs survived the challenge pretty well (as they had for the smaller hills on the first few miles), and I crossed the 6 mile and then 10 kilometer marks at a pace a bit slower than a 7 minute/mile (7:05 or 7:10).  I knew that this pace was pretty fast, but it's not quite as crazy as a 7 minute/mile, and I figured that the track - being pretty flat - would offer a chance to just cruise along and knock out the next 2 miles while maintaining that fast pace.  On the one hand, I was worried because I knew that I was dead tired after holding a pace like that for our 8 mile run, but on the other hand I knew that even if I slowed down a ton after the 8 or 9 mile mark I could still hit my goal of 1:40 (sub-100 minutes).  Either way, I did keep the pace somewhat high on my way around the track, but - as last year - it wasn't anywhere near as cool or easy as I thought it would be.  The track is long, really, really boring, and the crowd was squeezed pretty tightly together by this time (both because they wanted to be on the inside of the curve, but also because I had caught up with, and was in the middle of, the first wave of runners).  Basically, the track was miserable - not because I was feeling terrible - but because I knew I was getting tired, and when you are getting tired you don't want to be dodging around people, bored out of your mind, or finding out that there is a bit of wind pushing you around...  Two things kept me going though: first, the rosary, which I had been praying since mile 2 or so, and was now on the luminous or sorrowful mysteries (I don't remember which ones) and second, it was on the track that Fr. Dustin Boehm (who I didn't know was a priest at the time) passed me and congratulated me for pacing him that entire time (I guess he had been trying to catch me since the beginning of the race).  I managed to stay pretty close behind father as the track slowly slid by (this year I saw the yard of bricks - which wasn't nearly as cool as people made it out to be), but I could feel myself hurting as we (finally) exited the track and a bit later hit mile 9.  Unfortunately, I didn't see the Brute guys here either (as it turned out, they were at the entrance of the track and we had missed each other), so I was starting to feel worn out but managed to struggle on towards mile 10.  

I knew that at mile 10 they were handing out gel packs (which basically give you a boost of electrolytes and sugar) which I figured would help my legs to keep going, and also, at the 10 mile mark I was only 3.1 miles from the finish (a 5k)!  I picked up two the gel things and swallowed about a quarter of one (didn't want to over do it) along with some water (which they were handing out) and I promptly got a terrible stomach cramp.  It was one of those things, I was doing a pretty good pace - so that was good - but I was starting to really feel tired and I was hoping that these gel things would give me the boost I needed to finish strong and they did the exact opposite.  Now, on top of legs that were threatening to collapse, and an uphill last few miles (or so it seemed), I had the added discomfort of a stomach cramp - wonderful...  I forced myself to keep running, knowing that all of the pain wasn't just going to go away if I stopped to walk (and it would be immensely harder to get going again), but those last few miles were absolutely brutal.  I star


The only picture that I could find of me during the race
(near the finish line)
ted praying the rosary again, something that I had forgotten to keep doing during the middle of the race, and eventually crossed the 11 miles mark (almost there, come on), and after an eternity of swinging my lactic-acid-filled legs and jarring my knotted insides I finally also passed the 12 miles mark.  Now, with only a mile to go, and knowing that I could just about walk it and still make it under 1:40 (my pace had only dropped to 7:30 or so for the last few miles), I just kept going.  Yeah, the last mile was uphill, and seemed more like 2 miles (soooo long), but the crowd was cheering, I was almost there, and you just can't stop at that point.  I did run just a tad faster for that last tenth of a mile or so.  I wasn't sprinting by any means, but I wasn't crawling either.  Final time: 1:35:24 (7:16 min/mile pace) - almost 10 minutes faster than my time last year and something like 10% faster as well!  I was really happy to finish with that time - especially considering those harsh last few miles - it was way faster than I had expected (even considering my pretty good times in training).  Some fun numbers: this year I was the 759th person to cross the finish line, last year I was #2347.  This year I finished 90th in my age group (20-24), last year I finished 88th in my age group (14-19).  And, just for fun, I was also the first "Dominic" to cross the finish line!  Dominic  Vahling finished several minutes after me (cutting a few minutes off his time from last year) and Willie was a few minutes after that.  We grabbed some cookies, bananas, chocolate milk (and other such such wonderful things) and headed over to the race for vocations tent to celebrate and wait for the other finishers.


Yeah, so the mini-marathon was awesome!  I was forced to stay in shape the entire semester.  I got to spend a lot of good time with the other guys I was training with.  I got to experience a wonderful Mass at St. John's and a delicious pasta dinner afterwards.  I ran my second mini-marathon - feeling great for the first few miles, keeping the pace high for the middle miles, avoiding collapsing during the last few miles, and finishing with a fantastic time!  I ran for a great cause, got some praying in, offered up a bit of suffering, and had a blast doing it!  
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