Showing posts with label Fun. Show all posts

Whoever Finds a Friend, Has Found a Treasure!

So, for whatever reason, I woke up with the words from the palio "run, so as to win!" in my mind - don't ask why, I have no idea!  BUT, they reminded me of a very important fact: the incredible generosity and support that I've been given over the past couple months here in my transition to the NAC by everybody here.  See, in the Palio, when the priest is giving the horse that blessing before-hand, he shouts at it to "run" [va! - go!] "so as to win" [per vincere (something like that...)].  But the thing is, that the horse is all on his own - if the jockey falls off, the horse can still win, as long as it just keeps running and manages to get around first.  Here, at the NAC, things have felt just about as hectic, just about as fast-paced, and just about as crazy as the three, insane, blisteringly-fast, laps of the Palio.  These last couple months have been absolutely packed with stuff to get done, things to complete, places to go, things to do, people to meet, new things to learn, culture to immerse yourself in (not only Italian, but also getting to know how things work here in the seminary) - it's been about the busiest time of my life!  BUT, unlike the palio, and that horse, I have not been alone at all. Every single step of the way - from the faculty, the other upper-year men, and the other guys in my class - I've gotten just blown away by how much everybody is willing, and wanting, to help me out.

The Opening Banquet, in the NAC Dining Room
Last evening (now last week, this post is taking longer than I though) was the opening banquet, a pretty fancy meal that they have every year after the first week of classes (for most guys - some of the 2nd-cycle guys, in their 4th and later years start on different weeks) to officially start the year and welcome everybody back.  We had had a smaller, but just as fun, banquet maybe a month or two ago (I think it was after we got back from our first month of Italian studies outside of Rome - for me, in Assisi) to welcome all the new men (myself and my 50 or so classmates), but this was the final, official, one, and it marks the moment when everything finally settles down - for the most part - and things get into the usual schedule and whatnot (6:15 AM Mass, then breakfast, then classes, then pranzo, then studying, then sports, the Adoration, then Evening Prayer, then cena, then hanging-out, then bed, etc.!)  Anyway, so after a delicious meal (antipasto: prosciutto, buffalo mozzarella, mushrooms, and dried tomatoes; primo: carbonara; secundo: roasted chicken, cooked spinach, and mashed potatoes; and dolche: a kind of cream-filled, powder-sugar-covered cake), one of the men from my class (Colin Jones, who also has a blog) gave the opening-banquet-toast on behalf of the new-men during which he expressed exactly what I'm trying to say here.  

First of all, the faculty! The talks that we've had so far - about the different basilicas, homilies during Mass, conferences on life here at the NAC, and in Rome - have been inspiring, beautiful, reassuring, and everything else that I could possibly hope for.  I've started taking notes for pretty much every single talk I hear because I know they'll be great! Msgr. Checchio, the rector, gave us our first formation conference this past Thursday, and in it he was completely genuine in his exhorting us to open ourselves to formation here - to allow the priests, the experience, and most of all, Christ, to form us, above everything else, after the heart of Christ.  Everything else - academic prowess, physical fitness, even spiritual-ness - only comes after that foundational love, that fundamental openness, to become more and more, day after day, in every single moment and every single way, like Christ.  Priests are meant to go [va!] - to teach, to preach, to heal, to help - in the most profound and extraordinary way, like Christ - in persona Christi capitis - and seminary, Msgr. explained, is meant, above all, to form us to be more and more like Him.  Of course, he continued, this means that it's not always easy, it's meant to be a challenge because - face it - we're not all that much like Christ at the moment, though were striving for that.  The challenge of living a truly radical, completely loving, absolutely dedicated, perfectly generous life is a life-long one (and one that requires that we depend on God and His grace).  BUT, getting back on track, Msgr. Checchio reminded us that the seminary is designed - in every single way - to get us on that path of holiness and Christ-likeness.  Everyone, himself included, is watching out for us, not - in the words of Pope Francis - because the seminary is a police-state or something - but because they want us, above all, to grow towards Christ during our time here, in faith, and hope, and love, and chastity, and preparation, and courage, etc.  He reiterated that all the priests here, and all the formation that we'll be experiencing over the next years - spiritually, pastorally, humanly - will be hard at times, but that we must, like Christ, remain obedient to God's will (as indicated through those He has chosen - our bishops) and stick it out, trusting that all is meant to lead us closer to God so as to love His people better.  My synthesis of his talk, incomplete as it is, makes it less inspiring, and more scary, than it actually was.  It was an amazing, impassioned, inspiring talk, and it made me ready and willing to throw myself into formation - come what may - to become that holy, healthy, and happy priest that the NAC is striving to prepare and form!

In so many other ways too, the priests have been so very helpful over the past couple of months.  From their constant offers to help us, and their constant willingness to direct us, and their constant patience with our mistakes, forgetfulness, and confusion of getting to know a new place, to their inspiring example of being priests just joyfully giving themselves to Christ and His church, to their always-happy greetings in the hallways, there have been so many examples of generosity among the faculty here it's just astounding!  I know for myself, they've been an inspiration!  Like that time I got hundreds of bug bites, and looked like the panther from "Put me in the Zoo" [yeah, that was a long time ago, even for the youngest member of our class...], a very obvious ailment because the next day was our beach-outing, and several of the priests immediately offered different medicines/creams, and arranged to have the sisters who run the infirmary to come over, and then checked up over the next couple days to make sure I was doing fine.  It was awkward, I wanted to "be a man" and just tough it out, but their help meant I itched for a couple days rather than a couple weeks, and it taught me the even more important lesson of learning to look out for, and help, everybody around me.  Just last Thursday - another great anecdote - the new priests on faculty made their oath of fidelity to the faith and to the church.  It was so cool, and powerful, to see those priests, standing in front of the entire community and commiting themselves to forming me, and the other seminarians, according to the faith! Colin gave some good examples, and some funny ones, in his speech, (and I could as well) but I won't dive into those here (some other time); this is supposed to be a short post (after all, it is [was] like 5 in the morning... on a Saturday) and I'd like to get my ideas down as quickly as possible.


The Guys from my Hall (which is called "4th NASA")
The second group of guys that Colin thanked, and I'd totally agree, are the other men here.  A huge thumbs-up to all those guys who have constantly, after I bring up the topic of struggling in Italian (like every day...), given me advise, and encouragement, to stick it out, be patient with myself, and that eventually it will come.  Or those guys who've bought us gelato, or cooked us meals, or baked cookies, or told us the best places to eat in Rome, or organized sports, or put tons of free-stuff [regalo] on the halls for me to scavenge and fill my room with (seriously, I've picked up a couple of chairs, books, a bunk-bed, a fan, a carpet, a table, a clock, and some other things), or invited us into their groups during dinner, or welcomed us warmly when we showed up at the lounge that first night, or showed us around the KNAC (a little store they run here with stationary, snacks, soap, and other important little things), or opened the bowling alley for us (yep, we have a bowling alley - the second oldest one in Europe - down in the basement), or helped tutor us in Italian, or came and visited us on the breaks during our first week of classes, or walked us over to our schools for the Italian proficiency test, and helped me retrieve my back-pack after I forgot it during the Italian proficiency test [ho domenticato il mio zaino...], or stopped by our rooms to greet us, to chat, to welcome us (again, and again, and again!), or complemented us on those little things we got right, or put like a hundred different holy cards in our boxes, or talked about places we should visit, or prayed for us during this previous summer...  (If you hadn't guessed, I could go on!)  Colin again, had a couple of good examples, some funny some seriously eye-opening to just how generous these guys have been, and just how far they've gone to welcome and help us.  Again, I'm going to keep it short and move onto the last group of awesome folks I've become friends with.

My Class, In Front of St. Peter's
My Class, After our Retreat in Greccio
And that would be the members of my own class.  We were all thrown together there at the airport in Newark a couple months ago, myself knowing very few of them, but ever since that moment I've been enjoying my time with them immensely.  They're a great group of guys!  Enthusiastic about diving into the next level of seminary, incredibly supportive when I'm feeling overwhelmed by whatever challenge happens to hit me his week (mainly, it's been the Italian), competitive on the sports field, ready and willing to wander around with me, constantly giving a little grin or "hello" as they walk past my room, models for holiness, and perseverance, and discernment.  But, above all those superlative adjectives, they are just a bunch of men that are a ton of fun to spend time with, and I'm privileged to count them as friends!  Growing together, praying together, struggling together, exploring together, settling-in together; it forms close bonds, and it forms close friendships!  Yeah, it's a great class, the next five years will be full of wonderful times and experiences, and - God-willing - in 3 years, I'll be laying down next to them in St. Peter's basilica about to be ordained a deacon!  

Yeah, so the NAC is a phenomenal place to be preparing for priesthood, due very much so to the great men that are here - priests and other seminarians!  They are all open to God's grace working in their lives, and God's love working through their lives, and it shows!  It's a wonderful place to be!  

Softball!
Side note: with 250 guys it's really hard to get to know, or even remember the names, of everybody.  Literally, I don't think I've met everybody and we've been all back for probably about a month...  Still, while that's the challenge of having such a large group, thankfully things are broken down quite a bit into smaller groups.  For instance, there's the usual guys who play soccer, or the guys in the choir, or the guys in my class at the Greg, or the guys on my hall, or the guys from Illinois, or the guys who do a Bible Study every Thursday, etc.  It's a great way to build those stronger friendships that would be tough otherwise if you just had to jump into the whole huge group of them.

"Faithful friends are a sturdy shelter: whoever finds one has found a treasure.  Faithful friends are beyond price; no amount can balance their worth.  Faithful friends are life-saving medicine; and those who fear the Lord will find them.  Those who fear the Lord direct their friendship aright, for as they are, so are their neighbors also." - Sirach 6:14-17
New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)
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Arrivederci! - A Week of Fun & Family, Packing & Preparing, Finding God's Good Amidst the Sacrifice of Going to Rome

So this morning I sat down at mom and dad's computer (because mine is broken) and started writing a post about love, how it is so much more than the modern world thinks it is, and requires so much more on our part.  But then I started getting bogged down trying to introduce the topic and so, I switched to this post, which is just as belated in coming, but will be much easier to quickly bang out.  Of course, the one on love is probably more important, but I'll have to wait for a bit of inspiration before that one gets moving again...

Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati
There are so many things that I have wanted to blog about this summer: just the typical day with the family (wake up at 7, pray, eat breakfast, work on Italian a bit, go to Mass, eat lunch, pack something, pray some more, go for a run, eat dinner, watch a movie, play a board game, pray the rosary, go to bed...), more about vacation (something about all the wonderful blessings God has given me - a great family, so much great hiking, kayaking, site-seeing, and eating), or about true fatherhood (and how it must emulate the Trinity, especially in a sacrificial love), or how difficult it is to avoid being lazy during the summer (how to carve out time for prayer, or growing in generosity...), or about Our Lady, or the Sacred Heart, or Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati (feast day a few days ago, incredible model for sanctity, charity, and chastity, from the modern world), and so on...  Basically, as always, I've had a ton of good ideas and not enough time and - more disastrously - not enough will power, to write them up (as of right now, I have like 60 something posts that are stuck in some kind of preliminary draft, most, I don't think, are going to escape that status).

So, I find myself less than a week away from leaving for Rome and I haven't wrote much, if anything, about what that means. So, this post will be practical, and maybe a bit funny - explaining what I've been up to lately in regards to preparing for my immanent departure - as well as explanatory - saying what I know about my trip over to the Eternal City, and what will happen once I get there - and finally, it will also be reflective - on my discernment up to this point and what it's like to be heading off to Rome.  I haven't gotten all these ideas straightened out in my head yet, but hopefully they will all come out in some sort of coherent fashion.

My Italian Visa!
Alright, so last week, having spent the previous 4 weeks at Springfield (for the ordinations), Chicago (to apply for an Italian Visa - which I have since received in the mail!), Washington (on vacation), Indianapolis (for Brute days), and Marbury, AL (to visit my sister, who is a novice at the Dominican Monastery of St. Jude down there), I didn't have much time to pack.  And so, when the 3rd or 4th week of July came around - the recommended dates by which I should ship my stuff over to Rome - I hadn't even started.  In fact, I still had four boxes of stuff on my floor, not to ship over, but ones that I hadn't even unpacked yet from moving out of Brute (yeah, I've been procrastinating).   So, as is usually the case, when I reached the point where I absolutely couldn't wait any longer, I decided to start.  I began by throwing everything in those boxes out on my floor, printing off the handy list that the NAC has made of things you should bring, and starting some sort of Catholic podcast on my iPod - here we go!  "School supplies" - well, I can get those later, I wouldn't forget things like that [yeah right!]..., "Liturgy of the Hours" - grabs them, shoves as many Holy Cards as possible into crevices between books, places in empty box - check, "Contact Lenses and Solution" - pounds down stairs, "hey dad, what's that place that you order contacts from?" [several minutes later, myself mystified by the technical jargon cryptically printed on the side of the box - spherical correction, pupilary distance, DIA, BC, ... dad decides to order the stuff - THANKS DAD! - and I pound back up to my room - check, "Italian grammar books" - checks Amazon.com, scrolls through the first 5 Italian/English dictionaries, finds one for $10, with 4 star reviews, clicks "add to cart", then gets distracted by Facebook, or YouTube, or some technology site - maybe I should get this tablet, or camera, or cool power conversion thingamabob - and then finally moves back to packing - check, "Two black suits and black pants" - check, "dozens of black socks" - "dozens!, I've never had a dozen black socks, if I have 6 pairs, that match, I think I'm doing good!", digs through the box of clothes that mom ordered, "hey look, black socks - oh yeah, mom printed this list out! [THANKS MOM!]" - check, "books" - glances around at pile of papers strewn across the floor - information on debit card, nope, visa application, nope, candidacy paperwork, nope, travel documentation, nope, finally finds the list of books, and then spends hours painstakingly tracking down the best prices for those books, and then orders the really important ones - check, sort of...  Then I glance at the clock, 11:20, good grief, we're leaving for Mass in 20 minutes, and I still need to take a shower and do morning prayer...

Too much stuff!
Such was the typical morning last week - I say week because though I expected to be able to get all my boxes packed up in a day or two, that didn't exactly happen.  Actually, I decided that I would ship my bike over as well - a lot of guys apparently have them over there, and I could see that it would be genuinely useful - can't be too hard right?  Off I went to the bicycle shop - on my bike, so they could see what kind I had - "Do you guy sell bicycle boxes?", "yep.", "OK, can I get one for my [insert type of bicycle here] bike?"  "Sure, but there is no way you'll be able to carry it home riding your bike." Oh ye of little faith, think I, it's only like a mile home, and I'm not too ashamed to look like a dork for a few minutes...  "Alright, I'll come back with a car." [a few hours later, having gone to Mass, talked with the guy at the FedEx place, and run by the bank, I return to the bike shop.] "Hi there, I'm here to pick up a bicycle box."  "Alright, that'll be $5.35, they're bringing it out from the back now."  Then, out from the back came one of the biggest boxes I had ever seen.  I mean, you couldn't fit a refrigerator in it, but there is no way I could have carried it on my bike, not even for a couple of blocks.  I awkwardly grappled with it and marched out to the car, where thankfully it squeezed into the backseat.

 Fast-forwarding through the last week - I managed to fit my bicycle into this enormous box (it took up way more space than I thought it would), and I packed in as much clothing and towels and whatnot in around it (not only to secure the bike, but also to use up all that otherwise empty space) to the point where the box was bulging ominously, and I also finally got around to fitting the last several books into each of those other boxes, and finally [sorry, this is definitely a run-on sentence] I roped my brother into helping me and we took them out to the FedEx place [5 'and's - that's terrible].  And, wouldn't you know it, they were closed because it was the day before Independence Day.  I was a bit frustrated, not only because they were closed, but also because I was already running about a week behind on getting everything shipped and now it looked like it would be another week before I could get everything moving.  Thankfully though, I found another FedEx place outside of Quincy (I guess their sorting facility or something) and they were open.  So, after driving out there, and filling out the paperwork (which wasn't short or easy), and lugging the stuff into the tiny office, I finally was able to drive away knowing (alright, more like hoping) that it was all on its way.  Update from the future: Everything arrived just a few days later in Rome and is now awaiting my arrival!

 Another big thing that happened this week regarding my immanent departure for the Eternal City was a big going away party of sorts on Saturday.  Mom had been planning it for several weeks now, thinking about all the different cool kinds of food, writing up lists of people to invite, scoping out (and renting) a pavilion at a park, and getting the house ready for the 20ish family members who were staying over.  Basically, it was going to be a pretty big deal and a last major opportunity for me to tell people what I was heading into (as well as I knew it) and - you know - saying good-buy.  Many of my cousins/aunts/uncles/grandparents were there, as were a lot of family friends from Church and elsewhere, and after a bit of rain and chilly weather in the morning, the afternoon turned into a perfect 80 degree and sunny day!  We had brats, hot-dogs, pulled-pork, mustard, onions, pickles, cole-slaw, potato-salad, pasta-salad, texas caviar (salsa on steroids), chips of all kinds, baked beans, watermelon, cookies, brownies, blackberry dump cake, angel food cake, strawberries, peaches, and on and on...  (It was all absolutely delicious!)  I was able to tell pretty much everybody a huge thanks for coming as well as a brief summary of what I would be up to over the next few weeks (on Sunday, fly to Rome, stay a week at the PNAC doing preliminary orientation stuff, then go to Assisi for 4 weeks of Italian immersion, then back to Rome for the full orientation, with all the old/past-year guys as well, before finally starting classes in late September).  And, to my delight, I was also able to have a ton of fun playing tag and soccer - I am not in as good of shape as I was even 2 months ago, something about not working out 4 times a week does that to you (oh, and all that food)...

 So yeah, gosh, it was a spectacular, awesome, really-fun day.  I could go into many of the minor stories of talking with people, trying to stay warm during the morning of July 5th (what's up with that?) launching paper lanterns with cousins, collapsing that night on my sleeping-bag (the boys were kicked outside in tents because "there was no room for [us] in the place where travelers lodge" - sorry, I had to do that, the tents actually weren't bad at all).  I could reminisce about just how much of a blast it was to spend the weekend with all my cousins (as well as all those other friends) - all the fun things we did, chats we had, food we ate, or time we spent together.  But I guess I won't - rather I just want to emphasize just how blessed I am with all those wonderful, fun, people in my lives.  The times I've spent with all of them are beyond wonderful, they've been absolutely splendid, and I suppose that's a good segue into the next topic of this post: just how much I'm going to miss all of them.

 At first glance - for myself too - being able to study in Rome looked like a dream come true.  I'll be honest, every since I first heard that seminarians studied in Rome, I was hoping to be able to do it.  But then came the moment of decision, back several months now, and I saw that it would also be hard to leave everything I know and love behind (to some extent).  Of course, back in November, that moment was far removed, so even though it was one of the few things that held me back from immediately saying yes, it wasn't an immediate concern.  Now, of course, it is.  I have watched the months slip past from the beginnings of my last semester in college, to Easter, to finals, and then to summer.  Even after graduation I comforted myself with the thought that I had another 2 months - packed with things to do and see and experience with family and friends - before I had to leave for Rome.  But now, 3 days away from take-off, I find myself in the really weird situation of being incredibly excited about taking that next step, of heading off to Rome for the theology years of seminary, and at the same time being saddened by the thought of leaving my family and friends behind.  Don't get me wrong, I'll make tons of great, new, friends over there, but it's going to be hard to not be with everybody from back home.  Am I worried about the Italian - sure - the oral finals - a bit - the totally unfamiliar place - yeah - but not that much...  I'm confidant that I can manage all those things.  But the remaining challenge, of leaving family and friends behind (again, not completely, I can skype, but it's not quite the same), that is something that no amount of hard work, or late nights, or confidence, can overcome.  That is a "loss", a sacrifice, that only God's grace is going to bring good out of.  Again, don't think that I'm considering it some dire, terrible, moment - moving away happens to everybody at some point, it would have happened in some measure regardless of whichever seminary I did theology at, but for me, going as far away as Rome, I think, will be especially challenging.  

 I guess, what I'm trying to say here, is that I first thought that doing seminary in Rome would be completely wonderful, no sacrifices in sight - but I was wrong.  I still consider it a huge opportunity, and I'm sure it will be a wonderful, awesome, fun experience, and I know it will be spectacular to see everything over there, but I am now realizing that following ones vocation always brings one closer to the cross.  In a way, I'm glad, it means I'm on the right track - no pain, no gain; no cross, no Christ.  My aunt reminded me of this precise truth when she was here (and helping me go through the list of things I still need to pack) - every vocation - marriage, priesthood, religious life, single life - requires us to unite ourselves with Christ on the cross.  There is no resurrection, no victory, no heaven, without Calvary, without deciding to give up my wants, my petty pleasures, my sins, and instead allowing Christ's love to completely penetrate me.  Every vocation requires conversion, requires us becoming more like Christ (meaning being humble enough to accept death, even death on a cross), and I have found a tiny sliver of this truth in the otherwise fantastic chance I have received to be able to study in Rome.  I've been telling people over the past few months that I am both excited and scared to do my theology there, but in writing this post, I have realized that I'm not scared, I'm just excited.  Wait a second, you say, half this post was about how tough it's going to be for you to go over there, isn't that fear?  Well, no it's not, at least not any more.  Now, knowing full well that it could be tough to step on that plane (as well as the weeks that follow), I have realized that that small cross, that tiny sacrifice (in the big scheme of things) is a chance for me to follow Christ.  I feel better than ever about going to Rome because I feel like it won't just be an awesome experience, it will also be an experience that makes me a better man, a better (God willing) priest, and hopefully a saint.  It's not just an opportunity to see the world, it's an opportunity to increase my faith in God, to trust Him more, to become less attached to the passing things of this life.  

 I had prayed over the past month or so that God - in taking me away from my family and friends - could somehow allow me to love them more, and I'm starting to realize how He is doing that.  Certainly, I won't be able to hang out with them in the same way, but maybe I'll come back a slightly holier person (we can hope!), maybe I'll be reminded to pray for them more, maybe I'll better realize their connection to me in the mystical body of Christ?  It's a more mystical, hard to see, kind of love, but its a better, stronger, more divine way to love at the same time!

 Alright, so back to the present.  I have a few more days at home with the family - which I will use to pack up the last of my stuff (I sure hope it all fits in a suitcase) and spend some quality time with the family and in prayer - and then on Saturday, when everything gets done, I will head down to St. Louis for the afternoon/evening/night before boarding my plane from the airport there on Sunday morning at 9AM.  My flight goes to Newark, where I will wait around for several hours, and then - along with some 40 other new guys heading to the NAC - get on the plane for Rome at 5:15 PM.  After 8 and a half hours of flying (15-something hours on the clock), I will land in Rome!
Just what I needed...

Another update from the very annoying present: my computer just broke (best guess: the power jack, or charging sub-system, or maybe flux capacitor, fried itself), and is now heading across the country for repairs.  Thus, I won't have it for a while in Rome/Assisi.  So, while I hope to get some posts up here, and I really hope to keep Facebook and Flickr up to date on what's going on over there, it may not be as frequent as I'd like.  We'll see...  (God sure is good at making sure I'm detached from things - if anything, the money that I'm going to have to shell out to fix/replace things that I didn't want to fix or replace!)

 Your quick recap of this post:  God is wonderful!  He has given me a wonderful family, and fantastic friends, both of whom I will miss greatly in heading over to Rome.  But, that sacrifice, I am starting to see, is not just a trade-off that comes with studying abroad (a cost, for the benefit of seeing the world), it's also a very real opportunity to grow in love for Christ (as every moment is)!  Please send some prayers my way so that I can continue to realize that truth, and continue to grow more like Christ (I'll reciprocate!)
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To all the guys at Brute - Thank You!

During finals week - wow, that was only like 2 weeks ago (it feels like so much longer) - owe had the annual baccalaureate Mass on campus at Marian.  This Mass, though open to anybody, was meant as a final ceremony honoring and celebrating the soon-to-graduate class of 2014.  The chapel was packed with seniors and their families and for the first time that I've seen, I struggled to find a seat at a Mass at Marian (which is really cool).  Mass was pretty typical for Marian - with the music that we all like to complain about, but wasn't actually all that bad - and it included a procession of graduates in at the beginning and (for lack of better words) a flower giving ceremony at the end.  Basically, before the priests and servers processed out they asked all the seniors to come up and receive 3 carnations, which they would then give to 3 people who had had a big impact on their college career, a good friend, or a positive influence - you know, somebody who was important in some way to their lives.  

The first one I gave to Fr. Bob immediately following Mass and the second one I gave to my parents when they arrived the next day.  Both were obvious recipients for my flowers - my parents brought me up in the faith, supported my vocation all along, loved me beyond belief, and in every way are the best of parents (THANKS MOM & DAD), and Fr. Bob has had a tremendous impact on my life these past 2 years, not only as a formator but also as an example of a loving, humble priest and a man who has dedicated his life to serving Christ (THANKS FATHER).  Now, of course, I had one flower left, and it took me a while to decide what to do with it.  There were certainly plenty of candidates - teachers who managed to get all that philosophy into my head, another one of the priests at Brute, my academic adviser, another one of the guys... - in the end though I didn't give it to any of those people (worthy though they were).  Instead, I gave it to all the guys at Brute.


Of course, most of them were gone by the end of finals week (when I got the flower), so I left it on the mantle place and took a picture of it.  And then, predictably, I forgot to write this post until now (leaving anybody who saw the pink carnation at Brute still bewildered and everybody who didn't see it oblivious).  Well, here's the post to rectify that situation!  I want to send a big THANK YOU to all the seminarians at Brute during my time there.  You guys were (and are) fantastic!  I enjoyed every minute of my time with you - from your enthusiastic welcomes as I first wheeled my stuff into the "castle", to the many dinners out at different restaurants (American, Chinese, Italian, Mexican, Indian, Greek - you name it, we tried it), to the fun lake-side parties, campfires, bbq's, and community dinners, to the movies we watched together (and which you opened my eyes to - for better or worse), to the ice-skating, football, basketball, soccer, racquetball, dodgeball, and frisbee, schola practice, limbo in the hallway, all the times that I was sore from laughing so hard - I have never had quite as much fun as I did with you guys!  I also learnt a ton from you - you taught me how to come out of my shell, but not be immature, how to joke around, but when to be serious, how to attend Mass reverently, but not stoically, how to do philosophy, without being too weird, how to live the faith and spread the gospel, all in love, how to discern God's will, and to not give up in the hard times.  Literally, in countless ways, you guys were huge parts of my growth so far in seminary.  You made me a better man in every way: academically (all those times studying for Plato/Aristotle, psychology, ethics, calculus, metaphysics, logic, and everything else), spiritually (praying the divine office in common, all those conversations about meditation, liturgy, prayer, all those times when we ended the day together in a Holy Hour, those times when we would get together in the middle of the day to pray a rosary, or mid-day prayer), and in so many other ways...


I could go on and on, but basically, you guys were fantastic teachers - in pretty much every area that seminary necessitates growth in, the best of examples to me in how to go about discernment, prayer, and advancement in the spiritual life, and really, truly, were incredibly important in my learning about (and hopefully advancing in) every kind of virtue - humility, charity, perseverance, joy, courage, chastity, etc.  And all of those things I leaned while having an absolute blast!  I know a flower is a bit cheesy, but please know it is so much more than a flower.  You guys made seminary not only fun, you made it an incredible learning experience.  God willing, in a few years (wow, that's scary) when I'm ordained, I will have been significantly shaped by my time spent with all of you.  Thanks for everything guys (and everything that I forgot), keep in touch!
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The Race for Vocations - Training, Praying, Running, Finishing (and everything in between)

Chris, Willie, Fr. Joe, Eamon, Myself, Aaron, and Dominic - what a great group of guys!
(yes, I am standing on my tip-toes - I thought the camera wouldn't catch that...)

While I haven't posted on it too much, myself and a few other Brute guys ran in the same mini-marathon as we did last year.  The half-marathon itself was last Saturday (May 3rd), but this post will try to encompass all the training and whatnot we did during the semester.


Training began about 8 weeks before the run (so back right after the end of spring break).  The plan we found online had us doing four runs each week and started out with runs of 3 or 4 miles long.  I had been doing a bit of running (on treadmills) on the weeks leading up to that, so I felt great for the first few weeks.  Then, to my great surprise, I found that even as the runs got longer (after a few weeks), I still wasn't struggling too much.  Actually, I was running faster, further, and more easily than ever before.  Last year, at the end of our training (when we were at our fastest), I ran a 4 mile route in 26:50, which is a bit faster than a 7 minute mile.  This year, at the beginning of our training, I ran it in 28 minutes, but within a few weeks I was running it faster than I did last year and by the second week of April I ran the same route in 25:46 (6:35 minutes per mile).  Another example: last year I ran the eight mile training route in barely under an hour (7:38 pace), but this year, again near the end of our eight weeks, I ran I slightly longer route in 56:44 (7:04 pace).  Now, to say that I was running faster than before isn't to say that I was putting in less effort.  There were certainly times when I felt terrible (like when I ran 6 miles on the treadmill - yeah, not much fun), or my legs were absolutely dead (like after our 12 mile run when we struggled along slowly the entire time), or when I attempted to play ultimate Frisbee after running those 12 miles (and my legs started seizing up and spasm-ing)...  Overall I was certainly in better condition than last year (often running faster than Willie and Dominic, who usually set a brutal pace last year).  

During all those runs - whether hard, or really hard - I found that the absolutely best way to pass the time and the long, leg-pounding miles.  If I was cruising along without too much difficulty, I found that myself meditating really well on the mysteries (it was easy to get the idea/picture of each mystery in my head), and when I was struggling to keep my legs moving, or completely out of energy at the end of a long run, I found that meditating on the mysteries kept me going.  Even if my legs were completely dying, there was no way I was going to stop and walk while in the middle of contemplating Our Lord carrying His cross (or another mystery).  Most of the other guys listened to music, but breaking my iPod turned out to be a blessing in disguise as it made me realize just how good of an opportunity running offers for prayer.  

Another benefit of all that running (25 or so miles a week during our longest weeks) was that it forced me to keep exercising.  If I hadn't been forced to keep training, I certainly wouldn't have exercised anywhere near that often (or that hard), and I probably would have neglected to do much exercise at all, especially during those last few, tough and busy weeks.  Exercise, as I learned in psychology class, is the best "antidote" to stress and I can vouch from experience that I feel much better after exercising (and don't feel as bad about eating a good meal during community dinners and the like).  The negative of that constant training though was that my legs were often tired and sore when I wanted to play a game of Frisbee or football (and so I couldn't play as hard as I would have liked).  

Mass for Vocations
(I got to hold the missal for Bp. Doherty)
Anyway, after all that training, eventually the big day came of the actual mini-marathon.  The night before we had attended (and I got to serve at) the Mass for vocations, which was a great reminder of what (and Who) we were running for, and we also enjoyed a large pasta dinner afterwards to charge up our muscles for the next day.  On the morning of the race, Luke generously drove us downtown and dropped us off a few blocks from the starting zone.  We worked our way down to Washington street (where the race starts) and joined the crowd that was filling the different corrals.  A few minutes later the first wave was started and the second wave (the one Dominic, Willie, Chris, and myself were in) moved up to the start line.  I was surprised to find that we were pretty close to the front of the crowd with only 10 or so rows of people in front of me (last year we were buried back in the middle of the crowd).  After a few minutes the countdown started and then, with the music absolutely pounding (which was great!), we took off.  I didn't know if we were going to stick together or not - we had been more spread out in training than last year - and I ended up starting at a really fast pace, whereas they weren't as crazy and stuck with a pace they knew they could keep up...  So, I was on my own when the crowd surged past the first mile (and I found that I had just ran it in 7:00 - way fast!).  I knew that I was going fast, but my legs - while a little bit sore - weren't protesting too much and I was breathing easily, so I just kept going.  Mile 2: 14 minutes - uh oh, this is pretty fast.  Mile 3.1 (the 5k mark): 21:49 - you have got to be kidding, I just tied for my fastest (timed) 5k!...  

Still, I was feeling pretty good, so I just kept going at a pace that was comfortable and gradually it started to slow down.  My legs were starting to feel legitimately tired by the time I hit the 5 mile mark, but I was nearing the Indianapolis 500 track, so I kept my mind off the pain by looking for the group of guys that were coming to cheer us on from Brute.  I didn't see them on my way into the track so I figured that they had scoped out a spot near the exit and so, in I went.  There was a pretty good sized ramp up into the track, but my legs survived the challenge pretty well (as they had for the smaller hills on the first few miles), and I crossed the 6 mile and then 10 kilometer marks at a pace a bit slower than a 7 minute/mile (7:05 or 7:10).  I knew that this pace was pretty fast, but it's not quite as crazy as a 7 minute/mile, and I figured that the track - being pretty flat - would offer a chance to just cruise along and knock out the next 2 miles while maintaining that fast pace.  On the one hand, I was worried because I knew that I was dead tired after holding a pace like that for our 8 mile run, but on the other hand I knew that even if I slowed down a ton after the 8 or 9 mile mark I could still hit my goal of 1:40 (sub-100 minutes).  Either way, I did keep the pace somewhat high on my way around the track, but - as last year - it wasn't anywhere near as cool or easy as I thought it would be.  The track is long, really, really boring, and the crowd was squeezed pretty tightly together by this time (both because they wanted to be on the inside of the curve, but also because I had caught up with, and was in the middle of, the first wave of runners).  Basically, the track was miserable - not because I was feeling terrible - but because I knew I was getting tired, and when you are getting tired you don't want to be dodging around people, bored out of your mind, or finding out that there is a bit of wind pushing you around...  Two things kept me going though: first, the rosary, which I had been praying since mile 2 or so, and was now on the luminous or sorrowful mysteries (I don't remember which ones) and second, it was on the track that Fr. Dustin Boehm (who I didn't know was a priest at the time) passed me and congratulated me for pacing him that entire time (I guess he had been trying to catch me since the beginning of the race).  I managed to stay pretty close behind father as the track slowly slid by (this year I saw the yard of bricks - which wasn't nearly as cool as people made it out to be), but I could feel myself hurting as we (finally) exited the track and a bit later hit mile 9.  Unfortunately, I didn't see the Brute guys here either (as it turned out, they were at the entrance of the track and we had missed each other), so I was starting to feel worn out but managed to struggle on towards mile 10.  

I knew that at mile 10 they were handing out gel packs (which basically give you a boost of electrolytes and sugar) which I figured would help my legs to keep going, and also, at the 10 mile mark I was only 3.1 miles from the finish (a 5k)!  I picked up two the gel things and swallowed about a quarter of one (didn't want to over do it) along with some water (which they were handing out) and I promptly got a terrible stomach cramp.  It was one of those things, I was doing a pretty good pace - so that was good - but I was starting to really feel tired and I was hoping that these gel things would give me the boost I needed to finish strong and they did the exact opposite.  Now, on top of legs that were threatening to collapse, and an uphill last few miles (or so it seemed), I had the added discomfort of a stomach cramp - wonderful...  I forced myself to keep running, knowing that all of the pain wasn't just going to go away if I stopped to walk (and it would be immensely harder to get going again), but those last few miles were absolutely brutal.  I star


The only picture that I could find of me during the race
(near the finish line)
ted praying the rosary again, something that I had forgotten to keep doing during the middle of the race, and eventually crossed the 11 miles mark (almost there, come on), and after an eternity of swinging my lactic-acid-filled legs and jarring my knotted insides I finally also passed the 12 miles mark.  Now, with only a mile to go, and knowing that I could just about walk it and still make it under 1:40 (my pace had only dropped to 7:30 or so for the last few miles), I just kept going.  Yeah, the last mile was uphill, and seemed more like 2 miles (soooo long), but the crowd was cheering, I was almost there, and you just can't stop at that point.  I did run just a tad faster for that last tenth of a mile or so.  I wasn't sprinting by any means, but I wasn't crawling either.  Final time: 1:35:24 (7:16 min/mile pace) - almost 10 minutes faster than my time last year and something like 10% faster as well!  I was really happy to finish with that time - especially considering those harsh last few miles - it was way faster than I had expected (even considering my pretty good times in training).  Some fun numbers: this year I was the 759th person to cross the finish line, last year I was #2347.  This year I finished 90th in my age group (20-24), last year I finished 88th in my age group (14-19).  And, just for fun, I was also the first "Dominic" to cross the finish line!  Dominic  Vahling finished several minutes after me (cutting a few minutes off his time from last year) and Willie was a few minutes after that.  We grabbed some cookies, bananas, chocolate milk (and other such such wonderful things) and headed over to the race for vocations tent to celebrate and wait for the other finishers.


Yeah, so the mini-marathon was awesome!  I was forced to stay in shape the entire semester.  I got to spend a lot of good time with the other guys I was training with.  I got to experience a wonderful Mass at St. John's and a delicious pasta dinner afterwards.  I ran my second mini-marathon - feeling great for the first few miles, keeping the pace high for the middle miles, avoiding collapsing during the last few miles, and finishing with a fantastic time!  I ran for a great cause, got some praying in, offered up a bit of suffering, and had a blast doing it!  
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The End of the Semester and Trusting God with the Future

Well folks, I just finished college!  I managed to survive Monday (which entailed finishing a paper at 2 AM, and knocking out two tough philosophy tests), and then must of us went to the funeral for Joe's brother on Tuesday (hopefully, I can get together a post entirely on that day), so I then had to make up the New Testament test (not too hard because I studied enough for it) and logic (also easier than expected) on Wednesday.  After that, the only final I had remaining was the take-home essay for modern and contemporary philosophy, which was pretty easy (only a few pages long) and only took an hour or two.  

Of course, the difficulties, successes, and completion of finals week isn't enough of a topic for a post regarding the end of the semester and the end of my college career, so I guess I'll spend the rest of this post talking a bit more about the whole experience so far.

To be honest, I've thoroughly, completely, utterly loved seminary over these past two years.  I was scared out of my wits when I showed up, but within hours I had begun to feel the vibe, the energy, the joy, and the intensity of seminary - and I fell in love.  I can't begin to express how wonderful of an experience it has been.  I have learned more than I thought possible - about philosophy, about life, about friendships, about discernment, about faith, about love - and I've enjoyed every moment - including the hard ones, like tests, and dry periods in prayer, and situations that forced me out of my comfort zone, and the awesome ones, like playing in the soccer tournament, those beautiful moments in Mass where everything clicks and it really feels like heaven, going out to eat with some of your best friends, watching countless great movies, spending hours of supreme peace in front of the Blessed Sacrament, study groups.  Yeah, every moment has been phenomenal!  
And now it's all about to change...  On the one hand, I'm excited.  Not only to graduate and enjoy the feeling of completing college, but also to head home (spend some quality time with the family), and then in July to head over to Italy to begin a new (and awesome) chapter in my seminary "career".  Yeah, I'm looking forward to all of it.  But on the other hand, I'm going to miss Brute.  I love the fact that I have a genuine friend in everybody here - something that is going to be much harder when I'm at the PNAC with 250 other guys.  I love the laughter, and music, and singing, and craziness that echos down the halls - this truly is a fun place!  But, on the third hand (whatever that is...), moving on is a bit scary.  Studying in Rome will be fantastic, but it will also be a struggle.  I'll be a long way away from all the great friends I have (here at Brute as well as at home), and my wonderful family - that's hard, it's a sacrifice I wish I didn't have to make...  Most of the guys here at Brute have been moving out yesterday and today and it finally hit me that I won't be seeing a lot of these guys in the near future - it's a happy moment (the semester is over!), but it's also sad.  In 2 months (almost exactly) I'll be doing the same thing with my family and friends back home, and that will be an even more exciting, and even more difficult, moment.  

Still, I'm putting it all in God's hands.  Lord, lead me where you want me, give me the strength to endure the hardships that your vocation entails for me, and grant me the true joy that comes with following You.

The second half of my New Testament final was an exegesis essay on Luke 2:25-35 (the presentation in the temple and Simeon's canticle).  I talked about how Luke's Gospel, all the way through, is looking at how true joy (from God) only comes through a certain amount of suffering, often in self-sacrifice and trusting Him.  Zechariah and Elizabeth experience the pain of not having a child before God gives them one.  Mary is asked to trust God completely, but receives the incarnate joy of Jesus Christ.  Then, arriving at the temple, they are required to offer Jesus back to God, and not only that, but Simeon prophesies that a sword will pierce Mary's heart.  Following God isn't always easy, it isn't always fun; actually it requires sacrifice - only through sacrificing ourselves to Him can He transform us with His joy.  Only through less reliance on ourselves, and more trust in Him, can he replace our pitiable joys with His own.  It's tough to learn - I for sure want to rely on myself, not Him - but ironically, going to Rome - something that I am super excited for - will also end up helping me grow in the trust of God.  God brings good out of evil, but He also bring supernatural good out of our own natural goods (at least, if we let Him).  

Yeah, so I'm excited, and scared, and happy, and unsure - and life continues to spin along.  The future is bright, but a bit unknown at the same time.  Jesus, I trust in You!
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One Year of Blogging!

Well, the title pretty much says it all, yesterday I crossed into my second year of blogging.  Thank you so much for being so supportive/interested in my life here at seminary.  I'll throw some statistics in at the end of this post in case you are interested in that sort of thing, but for now I'd just like to take a moment to talk about blogging in general, why I do it, and other such tidbits. 
 
I originally started this blog one year ago as a way to keep my family and friends up to date about what was going on in seminary and to keep a diary of sorts that I could look back at in several years and remember what was happening during this time.  I also wanted to use it as a teaching tool, a way to do my little part in the new evangelization.  These two things are the main goals for which I strive when blogging, and when I'm not filling either of these 'requirements' it causes me to re-think and re-approach blogging.  

As I think I have mentioned before, I was introduced to Fr. Michael Schmitz during the Brute retreat earlier this month.  I really enjoyed the way he structures almost all of his talks, with a story or event being way he introduces whatever topic on the faith that he would then talk about.  It was an inspiring, interesting, and just plain awesome way to do homilies (and other talks) and I wanted to emulate it on my blog.  That is why, for the past few weeks, I have tried to tell some story about what is happening in my life and then wrap it into a more spiritual or theological topic that this event (or multiple events) has made me think about.  This method (or whatever you would call it) though, has had a profound impact on the way I see the world.  I thought it would just make my blog posts more interesting, but it has actually made me think about everything that happens in my life in a cohesive fashion.  For instance, I read about humility in the Office of Readings last week and ever since then I am looking for connections to that topic in my day-to-day life.   It causes me to listen more attentively to the prayers at Mass, or the talks we listened to on the way to the March, or even look for examples of humility in non-religious things like playing hockey, going out to eat, or topics that come up in class.  I have started to see everything that happens throughout the day in terms of God, and my faith in Him.  It's wonderful!  

There you have it, how blogging has changed my life, how my posts will hopefully continue to be interesting, and a big thank you to all of you who continue to read my blog despite the times when my post doesn't make sense, when I use way too much punctuation, when I post six videos in a row, or when I post something that is totally uninteresting. To celebrate the one year anniversary (wow, time flies!), here are some of my favorite posts followed by some statistics about my blog.  Thanks again folks!  You're awesome!

 Some of my favorite posts:

 An Introduction
A thought on the Eucharist
The Importance of Prayer
Faith - Part 1
Do Not Be Afraid!
Coram Christo
Love - Just the Basics
Ice Skating
Lord of All Hopefulness
We are Called to be Nothing Less than Saints
St. Joseph and Pope Francis
Trust Leads to Joy
Pray without Ceasing!
I have competed well; I have finished the race
Our Mother Mary - The Wedding Feast at Cana
The Priesthood - Fr. Hyland Smith
The Challenge: Martyrdom
God can Sanctify even the Boring
A Mid-Summer Update
Back to the Original Idea
Do I Really Trust in God, or Something Else?
Totus Tuus - The Beginnings
An End-Of-Summer Recap
Make My Heart Like Unto Thine
Exercising the Vocal Cords
God is Love!
My Sister, a Nun
Prayer - the Beginning and Foundation of Discipleship
A Week in the Life at Seminary
Another Busy Day
Joy
St. Meinrad Soccer Tournament
The Funeral - God is Good
Vocations are Awesome!
NCYC - Day 1
The Crunch Continues
This is Break? - A recap of last week...
An Important Announcement!
Rejoice!  God Transforms our Crosses
My Peace I Give You
Day 2 - March for Life Pilgrimage

 Some fun statistics:

 Total number of posts: 236
Number of posts that were started and never finished: 40
Total number of page views: 39,296
Most page views in a month: 4829 (May 2013)
Most page views for one post: 145 (Psalm 117 - Evening Prayer on the Ascension) - yeah, that doesn't add up with the total number of page views, but that's the number it gives me...
Page views from Latvia: 172 (what?)
Page views from computers running Internet Explorer: 13497
Page views from computers running Chrome: 13128
Total comments: 118

More fun statistics (click to enlarge):
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My Peace I Give You

On Wednesday a few guys, including myself, went over and did some exercising in the gym at Marian.  I am lucky enough to not have classes until 9:30 or 10:00 each day, so I tagged along with them and forced myself to do some exercising.  We got there around 8:00 AM and I started looking for a machine to use (there is a rather large assortment of machines).  I didn't really want to use the treadmill primarily because it is boring, so I took a cue from one of the other guys and went for a stationary bicycle.  Of course, I didn't want take the one right next to him, that's just kind of awkward, and I didn't want to take one of the ones that is super cushy, with a huge seat and straight up and down position, so I went for the third and final kind of bike which turned out to be the elite, racing-style bike, forward swept handle-bars and all.  I didn't really mind the different position, whenever I'm riding my (more typically shaped bike) I tend to lean forward rather than sit straight up anyway, so I figured it would work just fine.  

Well, it did, sort of.  There were only two buttons - mode and reset - which neither seemed to turn it on, but thankfully, after hopping onto it and pedaling, the display fired right up.  Victory!  Now, I usually don't require much in the way of data or metrics, but I do expect the basics, which this machine apparently didn't give.  I flipped through all two pages of the display and it didn't show either time or distance, though it showed cadence, kila-joules, and watts.  Hmm, not very useful to me...  Anyway, I kept pumping away at the machine, twisting this little knob under the handlebars that made things harder or easier (and made the numbers get bigger or grow faster or get smaller and grow slower respectively).  As you can probably tell, I didn't really know what I was doing, but I kept at it either way and after several minutes of hard effort made it to the incredible accomplishment of 100 kila-joules (with a peak power output of over 300 watts)!  I still have no idea what those numbers mean, but I'm sure they are spectacular... (maybe not...)

OK, continuing the story - I promise I'll get to something important eventually - I decided  after biking for a little while that I had had enough of that, so I moved over to the treadmills.  Again there were a lot of options, but I ended up picking one that larger (which usually means that it can go faster) and had a bigger display (no more goofy telemetry).  Anyway, I got onto it and it asked me for my weight, so I hit select, which apparently wasn't the button to hit because it skipped to the next screen, where it asked me to choose an exercise type.  I looked at the buttons and found that I could choose between fat burn, cardio, hill reps, and speed reps.  I thought briefly about my options and went with the hill reps - I figured that I could choose a speed and then it would automatically make the grade go up and down - sort of like the real world.  It then asked for a difficulty level - some number from 1 to 10 - so I chose something on the higher end and hit start.  Off it went - at 1% incline and .5 mph...  Well, that wasn't quite fast enough (to say the least), so I pushed the increase speed button and then pushed it again, and again, and again.  Unfortunately, it beeped every time it went up an increment in speed, so after a lot of beeping I was cruising along at 8 mph and a few percent incline.  Alright, thought I, time for some exercise.  

I glanced up to the TV (which was right in front of me) and saw that they were showing some replays of basketball games.  I don't really watch basketball, but it was better than watching the wall, so I started watching the game.  Wham!  The incline went up to 4% (which was pretty high for me) and 5 mph (which is barely faster than a walk, in other words, slow) - alright, I increased the speed up to where I wanted it and settled back into my run.  Wham!  Again the incline changed, and again the speed dropped.  I pushed it back to where I wanted it - less incline, more speed - and continued my run.  Well, as you probably could guess, it did it again - but this time the incline went up to 12% at which point I nearly fell off the treadmill because I wasn't expecting it, and again, the speed reset to whatever it wanted.  Alright, enough of that, I switched to speed-rep mode, expecting it to go with whatever speed I set and then bump up a bit every so often from there.  I was wrong again, because it just kept resetting the speed to 5 mph, then 5.5 mph, then 7 mph, then 6 mph, etc.  After another minute of wrestling with this I hit stop (I had done 1 mile in 8 minutes) and looked for manual mode.  I did eventually find it and did another 12 minutes of running - this time with myself controlling everything - and finished with a total of 2.6 miles in 20 minutes.  I would have gone further but the constantly changing speed (and loss of momentum) had burnt me out.

So, what was the point of these stories.  Well, first of all, I wanted to share something that happened to me that was pretty funny, but I am also hoping to be able to apply the story to a topic from the faith.  I know I am new at this, so hopefully this example isn't really cheesy, but the real subject of this post is peace.  Often times - like that bike that didn't tell me what was going on, or the treadmill that kept changing the speed or incline - we don't know what life will bring us each day, and when we do know, we sometimes don't enjoy it very much.  Basically, life isn't always fun!  Sometimes we lose friends or family, sometimes work (or school) is stressful, sometimes we have to do things that we really, really don't want to, sometimes prayer doesn't seem to be "working", sometimes life is hard, sometimes that alarm is too early.  Through all of this we try to find some peace and joy and most of the time it just doesn't work.  Our lives are busy, we are tired, and we feel like we are running from one things to the next just putting out fires.  And, you know what, that is part of life.  Hardships are part of the human experience (at least since we started sinning); however, while life will continue to be full of things that we don't like (for lack of a better term), we can still be filled with peace.  How? We have to get our peace from Christ.

In the Gospel, we see countless times where someone (or a group) is full of fear, or anxiety, or troubles, and we hear the words "peace be with you".  Some examples: After the Resurrection, Jesus appears in the upper room to his previously despairing, now startled, disciples, and the first thing that Jesus says is "Peace be with you" - Luke 24:36  Again, right before the Ascension, to his disciples who are distraught at the prospect of Him leaving, Jesus says "Peace I leave with you" - John 14:27.  Now, these examples aren't really helpful, yeah, Jesus gave them His peace, great, where do I get it?  Well, keep reading.  

In the same passage from John, Jesus continues: "my peace I give to you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid."  Here is the important part - this peace is different than the world's peace.  It isn't from the world.  True peace, as Arch-Abbot Lambert explained in our retreat last week, can only be given from, and found in, Christ.  God's perspective isn't ours, and he wants to transform all those problems, difficulties, and times of sadness into opportunities for us to grow closer to Him.  We must accept them, these crosses, as such - as means of reparation for our own sins (and others'), as times where we can learn greater trust of God, as ways to learn detachment, and as opportunities to grow in virtue.  In short, the peace of Christ, which is the only true peace, comes from learning to rely on Him and use every moment, regardless of how much we enjoy it, to become more Christlike.  This is the Little Way of St. Theresa of Lisieux, of offering up everything to God and doing everything for God.  It's not like God plans out our life and every so often sends in a difficulty - like one of those boss-levels in a video game - but whenever we are struggling He gives us the grace to persevere (which we need to accept) and the option of using that moment to grow closer to Him and become more like Him.  

Unfortunately, that's all I've got.  As an addendum I should note that this is by no means complete - there are so many other fantastic spiritual writers that have more experience than I, can write more beautifully and richly than I, know their faith better than I, and basically this means that I am undoubtedly leaving a lot out.  However, I wanted to tell you what is going on around here and simultaneously tell you something that I have been (slowly) learning through the seminary process: rely on God.  Finally, I need to say that there is another direction one could go with the topic of peace, that of becoming peacemakers (from the beatitudes).  I'll have to hit that topic at some point in the future.  Happy Friday!
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit - Romans 15:13
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