Open Wide the Doors for Christ!

Today we celebrate the 3rd Sunday of Easter, Christ is risen!  During his homily today, Father (Hanley) made a point that really resonated with me.  Coming from the Gospel we had today - about Christ's appearance to the Apostles after His resurrection - Father reminded us of the story of the Passion, specifically from the perspective of the Apostles.  Though it is certain that they would have been overjoyed at that news that was filtering back that Our Lord was risen, would not they also have perhaps considered their failure over the past few days to stand by their Lord and Messiah?  Despite their long friendship with Jesus - listening to Him, asking Him questions, eating with Him, laughing with Him - all (but one), in His moment of need fled.  

I hate to say it, but I often see myself do the same thing.  I look back at Lent and I'm disappointed at the lack of progress, or thinking about the past week, I become frustrated at my slothfulness in studies, lack of generosity to those around me, distractedness in prayer, or whatever.  Gosh, I want to be a great saint, but at the end of the day I'm so often like "Sorry, Lord ... again."  Think about the apostles, waiting in the upper room, hearing the news of the resurrection, and then Jesus appears in their midst - surely they hung their heads in shame.  "Sorry, Lord..."  They, Our Lord's closest friends, were wimps.  I know the feeling!   I know what I should do, and then I don't do it - "the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak" [Matthew 26:40].  

But, what are Christ's first words to the Apostles?  They weren't "Where were you guys?, didn't you remember that bit about 'pick up your cross and follow me'?"  No, He says "peace be with you".  Peace - not "the peace that the world gives" [John 14:27], not the peace of no worries - no, He gives the deeper, the better, the truer peace of His friendship and forgiveness, again.  Christ shows them His hands and feet, not only to prove that He is actually Jesus - Crucified and risen - but to show them that He took upon Himself their own failures, our own failures.  He looks at them with mercy, with tenderness, with love; He looks at us the same way!  He invites us back to the same friendship!  This is the mystery, and awesomeness of Easter, not only that Jesus is alive again, but that He still loves us and wants us!

"While they were still incredulous for joy and were amazed, he asked them, "Have you anything here to eat?"  Again, I don't want to trivialize the moment, but Jesus doesn't just eat with them to prove He's not a ghost, He wants to show that He's back, He's alive, He still counts them as His brothers, His band of followers!  He extends the same offer to us: in His mercy He is willing (and has) taken upon Himself all our sins, all our continuous failures, all our misery and weakness and wimpiness, and says "my peace I give you ... why are you troubled?"  Folks, this is the miracle of Easter: forgiveness of our sins, friendship with God, fearlessness of our weakness!  Of course, we can't stay where we're at: Jesus' resurrection calls us to try again, to unite ourselves with Him again, to repent and follow Him again!  "And he said to them, 'Thus it is written that the Christ would suffer and rise from the dead on the third day and that repentance, for the forgiveness of sins, would be preached in his name to all the nations, beginning from Jerusalem.  You are witnesses of these things.'"  Despite our incessant failures, Jesus still wants us as His witnesses!

Thanks Fr. Hanley, that is exactly what I needed to hear today!

About a year ago I wrote an entire week of posts, basically just describing what the day-to-day life of seminary involved at Brute.  Well, now I'm in Rome, at the NAC, and I figured that you guys might be interested in the day-to-day happenings here.  I've only been able to write a few posts so far unfortunately, and I found that I really wasn't speaking to much on what the usual life here is like - I either talked just about one little moment or like an entire month, neither of which really tells you what the typical day is all about.  So, without further ado, here's today:

So, this morning the alarm went off at 5 AM.  Unfortunately, I stayed up till midnight last night working on a paper that's due in my theology seminar tomorrow and skyping the family (a seven hour time differential wreaks havoc with communication), so I woke up pretty tired.  Nevertheless, after quickly shutting off the alarm, I creaked down from my bed (I have a loft, which is great, but it does shake a bit when I move around on it), and proceeded to try and wake myself up by doing this "seven minute workout".  It's an app that I found for my phone that times out thirty second intervals during which you do push-ups, jumping-jacks, crunches, lunges, or whatever.  So, seven minutes later I was breathing a bit harder, just about to start sweating, and very much awake.  I turned on a podcast - this one happened to be Fr. Fessio on Catholic Answers Live - and proceeded to get dressed (in clerics! - which is still pretty cool even after wearing them every day for a month or two), brush my teeth, shave, and do those other things that are necessary each morning.  10 minutes later the podcast was paused, I grabbed my breviary, a prayerbook, a notebook, and Scott Hahn's The Lamb's Supper, and rattled down the 6 flights of stairs to the chapel.  It was now about 5:30 and I spent the next 45 minutes doing the Office of Readings, meditating a bit on the readings for the day, reading a chapter on the Mass out of Scott Hahn's book, and just spending some quiet minutes preparing myself for Mass and offering up the entire day to God.  I was certainly tired, but not to such an extent that prayer was impossible, and there was something beautiful about just telling God that - despite everything - I was going to try and give Him my best today.  Nothing spectacular on my end, but a good start to the week nonetheless.

Morning Prayer began (in common) at 6:15, followed by Mass, and - I have to say - I wasn't struggling quite as much as I thought I would based on the amount of sleep I got last night.  I think the time change (which happened last weekend here in Rome) helped because it is now light when we come out of the chapel after Mass (which was a happy surprise this morning, but probably something that unconsciously was helping me stay awake).  One of the deacons (I hate to say it, but I didn't remember his name and I forgot to look it up) gave a very good homily on how Jesus intended to heal the woman on the Sabbath because He is the Logos, the Word made flesh, through Whom the world was first created, and His salvific mission is to bring God's creation back into right relationship with God.  Brokenness, sinfulness, hatefulness, sickness - and every other kind of evil - weren't there when God created the world - He created it good.  But through man's choosing themselves over God - in sin - evil enters the world, and the world becomes twisted, broken away from God.  Jesus enters to bring the world back to God (and radically bring God into the world).  He heals, not to disregard the Sabbath, but to bring mankind to true rest, apart from sin, in union with God.  And, of course, He invites us to that same rest, that same union, every day in Holy Communion!  

After a couple minutes of prayer following Mass I walked down the hall to the refectory for breakfast, which, this morning anyway, involved leftover cornetti (sweet croissants) from yesterday, hard boiled eggs, and some yogurt/cereal/plum concoction.  15 minutes later - after chatting with some guys while eating - I charged up the 6 flights of stairs to my room, spent about 10 minutes getting ready for class, and then grabbed a jacket (it was in the 50s this morning), headed back down the stairs, and out onto the streets of Rome.  Originally, I began my walk listening to another podcast (gotta spend every moment wisely!) and studying the Hebrew alphabet (not terribly easy to do simultaneously), but after about 10 minutes I ran into some other guys on the way to class and so we spent the rest of the 30 minute walk talking about Rome, classes, plans for the rest of the day, and other such things.  It's funny how quickly I got used to walking over to class - it's crazy to think that I get to walk past the Piazza Navona, Santa Maria sopra Minerva, and the Pantheon every day on my way to class!  Fun times!

I arrived at the Greg. (Pontifical Gregorian University - if you want the full name) at about 8:20, with just enough time to head up the 2 flights of stairs, get settled into my desk, and log into the wifi before class began.  Classes are all in Italian - which, today as always, was a struggle.  We had two hours of Pentateuch and then 2 hours of Church History, both divided into two 45 minutes periods with a 15 minute break in between.  I am always very glad when the raucous bell goes off (it really does make a racket) and we get the break because it offers me a chance to clear my mind, stretch a bit, pray a bit (there is a very nice chapel up on the 3rd floor), or otherwise relax a bit - a very necessary thing to do because after 45 minutes of struggling mightily to translate what the professor is saying and type it out, my brain is usually pretty much fried and very ready to get distracted.  Classes have been getting better over the last 3 weeks, I guess I'm picking up new words and getting faster at translating, but I am very glad that guys better at Italian than myself are taking notes (that we then share) because otherwise, I'd be left with only about half of what we talk about in class.  Speaking of which, today we finished talking about the flood and began studying the tower of babel - and how God constantly tries to return man to His loving plan for creation, and away from mankind's tendencies to try to make himself God, and take the easy road to happiness, power, glory, or whatever.  In Church History we talked about the persecution of the early church - the writings of the Church Fathers at that time (St. Justin, St. Ignatius, St. John Chrysostom, etc.), other sources we have of that period (The Acts of the Martyrs, The Letter to Diagnetus, etc.), and the reasons behind the persecution and the phases it went through under different emperors.  That class, in particular, I'm going to have to rely on the notes because while there were PowerPoint slides (which are much easier to translate than simply an oral lecture), they each had about a thousand words on them - so it seemed - so I usually got about half-way through the slide before he flipped onto the next one...  Anyway, piano, piano (slowly, slowly).  In between the first and second period I took like a micro-nap (first time I've ever done that), which actually helped a ton with staying alert for the rest of the time, for the second break I spent some time in the chapel (again, dedicating the work of the day to Our Lord), and I think I just talked with some of the other students for the last break (there are probably about 80-100 students in the class, 20-something of which are from the NAC, and all the others are from other universities or orders around Rome, most of which don't have English as their first language, or Italian, so that can be a struggle at times as well - ah well, we keep trying!)

The walk back was beautiful!  It was just warm enough to not need the jacket, and it was just cool enough to not start sweating on the hike up the hill to the NAC (we're located on the Janiculum hill, one of the 7 hills of Rome).  As always, the streets are busy in places (mainly with people, we actually only have to worry about cars at a couple of intersections), and there are many people stuck in poverty who we always try to give at least a "bongiorno" and a smile.  I'm still getting used to both groups, and trying to constantly remember to be not only polite, but kind and loving - even if only for the moment.  It's one of those things, wearing the collar constantly reminds me of my call - especially as a seminarian - to live, and love, like Christ, which is a constant challenge, especially when you'd really rather just hurry back and get some lunch than stop and give somebody directions, or struggle to communicate your compassion to that homeless lady who always calls out to you as you walk past.  It's a real challenge, one that I didn't expect, and one that I need to constantly take to prayer!

Today, for the first time, I served at pranzo.  That basically means that instead of saying the Rosary like I usually do upon getting back (there's about 20 minutes between us getting back and pranzo), I instead headed into the refectory and started to set out jugs of water and bowls of salad on all the tables (36 tables, 2 jugs each, and the water-machines are pretty slow - it takes a while even with a couple guys working on it).  Then, after about 10 minutes we started carrying back salad plates and carrying out trays of pasta (today was noodles with a creamy red sauce and little flakes of ham - really good but I have no idea what it was called).  20 minutes later, the process repeated, this time carrying back the plate used for pasta and bringing out the secundo (today it was roast beef of some sort with tomato sauce along with peas).  And, a couple minutes after that it was time to carry out bowls of fruit (the dessert for today) and continue to clear plates and stuff.  I would have thought there would be down time, but there wasn't.  I was constantly on the move, going to fetch more food, or cheese, or water, or trying not to drop a stack of plates and silverware (always a balancing act).   Either way, at 2, everybody finishes up, the waiters sit down at their own table, and then we get to eat our own pranzo (same as everybody else's, but we just wolfed it down, and headed off to get things done that afternoon).  It was a fun first time - not hard, not easy, not bad - yeah, actually kind of fun!

I spent the next two hours in the library, working on the process of note-redacting.  Basically, because I'm not one of the chosen note-takers, I have the other job of taking the notes from three different guys for one of our classes (Introduction to Scripture) and combing them all.  The goal is to then have a pretty complete set of notes for the class which everybody can then use to fill in the gaps in their own knowledge.  I thought the process would be easy - boy, was I wrong.  It was such a challenge to look at the 3 or 4 different sets of notes, figure out when they are talking about the same thing, and then combine them in such a way that you lose nothing of any of their meanings but don't repeat anything at the same time.  It was way more of a challenge than I anticipated, and it took all two hours I had open in the afternoon (which I was hoping it wouldn't).  Anyway, such is the way it worked out - I'll have to find more time in the future to do it - but for today, I didn't have any more time!  After struggling to get the computer to save (the network wasn't working quite right) I raced out of the library, down to the St. John Paul II class-room (we don't usually have classes here at the NAC, but they do have some rooms for the occasional lecture or something I suppose), where I attended a meeting of the Legion of Mary.  

I was in the active Legion back at home, before seminary, so the meeting itself wasn't new, but I wanted to check it out as a possible apostolate for next semester because their work sounds really, really cool.  Basically, next semester I'll have an apostolate - which could be helping at a nursing home, working at a soup kitchen, visiting a prison, leading tours of St. Peter's, or - another option - doing evangelization in St. Peter's square for the Legion of Mary.  It sounds really fun actually - standing out there, meeting and greeting tourists who come there and answering any questions they have about the basilica, the Church, Christ, His saints, or any of the other innumerable questions that come up when you visit Rome.  It's an easy opportunity to lead people to grow deeper in their faith (or understand the importance of faith), and I will probably put it as one of the apostolates that I'd like to do.  We'll see, I'll be actually trying out the work in the square on Wednesday, so I guess I'll have to wait till then to be sure.

Anyway - running from one thing to the next - I charged back up the 7 flights of stairs to my room (I was in the basement), grabbed my Breviary, the Bible, Benedict XVI's Jesus of Nazareth, and the Magnificat and headed back down to the chapel for an hour of Eucharistic Adoration.  I got there just in time for it to start at 5:45 and spent the first bit of time just quietly adoring Our Lord, and then meditating on the readings for tomorrow and the psalms for mid-day prayer.  It was tough to strike the balance between quieting my mind and not falling asleep, but I did fairly well today!  I read the chapter on the Kingdom of God today from Ratzinger's book, which was absolutely beautiful.  He explained how the "Kingdom of God" isn't just a individual relationship with Christ, and it isn't just the Church, and it isn't some sort of earthly kingdom which holds Christian principles or something - rather, the "Kingdom of God" is Christ Himself.  Yes, present within us, and His Church, and throughout the world - but fundamentally, when Christ announces that the Kingdom of God is at hand, He is announcing Himself, living, incarnate, actual, moving, loving and desiring that we open ourselves up to Him and allow Him to reign over our hearts, our lives, our families, our decisions, our countries, and our world!  Something that Pope Benedict didn't mention, but I was graced with the thought a couple minutes later during Benediction, was that in the Our Father, Jesus tells us to pray "Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven" - obviously indicating that we should strive to accept, to unite ourselves with, to do, God's will (that He may reign over our hearts - where He truly wants His Kingdom to come), but the very next line - drum-roll please - is "give us this day our daily bread".  Again, boom, it struck me of the incredibleness and importance of the Eucharist.  It is in this "daily bread", this supernatural bread, that Jesus gives us Himself.  Our "Amen" to receiving "the Body of Christ" is not only our statement of belief that this is "Christ the Son of the Living God", but also that we are willing to unite ourselves with Him so closely that He can enter our very hearts and souls.  With our reception of Holy Communion, we let Christ reign over us, we surrender to His will for our lives, we let His kingdom come!  Yeah, that was a pretty awesome moment! 

After doing Evening Prayer as a community, and saying another quick little prayer of dedication and thanksgiving, everybody headed off to the refectory for dinner.  I chose (it is buffet style) to have a little bit of pasta (shells with a cream sauce), some slices of turkey in gravy, a salad, and a banana with peanut butter (we rarely have bananas here, at least right now, so it was a treat!).  Again, nothing outrageously amazing, but it was all good, and hot, and there were good conversations to be had, and there was a banana!  

Alright, the day's almost complete!  After dinner I ran back up to my room, spent a bit of time on writing this post, worked for a couple minutes on Hebrew (I need to spend so much more time on that), and then went down and caught the last 30 minutes of a praise-and-worship hour that happens here once a week.  I had rarely done that sort of things before this semester, but there is something beautiful about that way of singing and praising God - I guess I didn't expect to like it, but in the right context it is beautiful, powerful, and prayerful!  Then, continuing to run to the next thing, I watched one episode of Agents of Shield, a TV series based off of the Marvel comic strips and films.  It's actually quite a good show - without too much language or other kinds of vices, but showing a decent amount of action and some seriously difficult moral decisions (which they don't always make the right choice).  You know, a couple super-hero's, good guys fighting bad guys, it's fun!

And now, I'm finally finishing this post, getting ready to post it and hit the sack (currently, I'll be getting 5 hours and 56 minutes of sleep tonight... - not enough, but it'll have to do).  It was a long day, I literally didn't have more than a couple minutes anywhere when I wasn't doing something or onto the next thing, but - as always - God provides and "tomorrow will worry about itself".  I recall hearing of a priest saying that he wanted to be tired each evening - spending himself for God and his flock - and I was inspired by it!  Don't we all want to really give our lives for something that's worth it!  But, I was kind of assuming that he woke up every morning having gotten 8 hours of sleep, with the sun shining, and a game-plan of what amazing things he was going to do that day.  Apparently, yeah, God is asking me to give myself - day-in-day-out - to Him, but that means being tired when you go to bed, and when you wake up!  Hmmm...  Something about picking up one's cross comes to mind - I guess I should have expected a bit of tiredness, frustration, business, and the daily grind.  Ah well, again, God will provide - it's an amazing life, if busy, and I'm loving every minute, even if exhausted!

On Wednesday a few guys, including myself, went over and did some exercising in the gym at Marian.  I am lucky enough to not have classes until 9:30 or 10:00 each day, so I tagged along with them and forced myself to do some exercising.  We got there around 8:00 AM and I started looking for a machine to use (there is a rather large assortment of machines).  I didn't really want to use the treadmill primarily because it is boring, so I took a cue from one of the other guys and went for a stationary bicycle.  Of course, I didn't want take the one right next to him, that's just kind of awkward, and I didn't want to take one of the ones that is super cushy, with a huge seat and straight up and down position, so I went for the third and final kind of bike which turned out to be the elite, racing-style bike, forward swept handle-bars and all.  I didn't really mind the different position, whenever I'm riding my (more typically shaped bike) I tend to lean forward rather than sit straight up anyway, so I figured it would work just fine.  

Well, it did, sort of.  There were only two buttons - mode and reset - which neither seemed to turn it on, but thankfully, after hopping onto it and pedaling, the display fired right up.  Victory!  Now, I usually don't require much in the way of data or metrics, but I do expect the basics, which this machine apparently didn't give.  I flipped through all two pages of the display and it didn't show either time or distance, though it showed cadence, kila-joules, and watts.  Hmm, not very useful to me...  Anyway, I kept pumping away at the machine, twisting this little knob under the handlebars that made things harder or easier (and made the numbers get bigger or grow faster or get smaller and grow slower respectively).  As you can probably tell, I didn't really know what I was doing, but I kept at it either way and after several minutes of hard effort made it to the incredible accomplishment of 100 kila-joules (with a peak power output of over 300 watts)!  I still have no idea what those numbers mean, but I'm sure they are spectacular... (maybe not...)

OK, continuing the story - I promise I'll get to something important eventually - I decided  after biking for a little while that I had had enough of that, so I moved over to the treadmills.  Again there were a lot of options, but I ended up picking one that larger (which usually means that it can go faster) and had a bigger display (no more goofy telemetry).  Anyway, I got onto it and it asked me for my weight, so I hit select, which apparently wasn't the button to hit because it skipped to the next screen, where it asked me to choose an exercise type.  I looked at the buttons and found that I could choose between fat burn, cardio, hill reps, and speed reps.  I thought briefly about my options and went with the hill reps - I figured that I could choose a speed and then it would automatically make the grade go up and down - sort of like the real world.  It then asked for a difficulty level - some number from 1 to 10 - so I chose something on the higher end and hit start.  Off it went - at 1% incline and .5 mph...  Well, that wasn't quite fast enough (to say the least), so I pushed the increase speed button and then pushed it again, and again, and again.  Unfortunately, it beeped every time it went up an increment in speed, so after a lot of beeping I was cruising along at 8 mph and a few percent incline.  Alright, thought I, time for some exercise.  

I glanced up to the TV (which was right in front of me) and saw that they were showing some replays of basketball games.  I don't really watch basketball, but it was better than watching the wall, so I started watching the game.  Wham!  The incline went up to 4% (which was pretty high for me) and 5 mph (which is barely faster than a walk, in other words, slow) - alright, I increased the speed up to where I wanted it and settled back into my run.  Wham!  Again the incline changed, and again the speed dropped.  I pushed it back to where I wanted it - less incline, more speed - and continued my run.  Well, as you probably could guess, it did it again - but this time the incline went up to 12% at which point I nearly fell off the treadmill because I wasn't expecting it, and again, the speed reset to whatever it wanted.  Alright, enough of that, I switched to speed-rep mode, expecting it to go with whatever speed I set and then bump up a bit every so often from there.  I was wrong again, because it just kept resetting the speed to 5 mph, then 5.5 mph, then 7 mph, then 6 mph, etc.  After another minute of wrestling with this I hit stop (I had done 1 mile in 8 minutes) and looked for manual mode.  I did eventually find it and did another 12 minutes of running - this time with myself controlling everything - and finished with a total of 2.6 miles in 20 minutes.  I would have gone further but the constantly changing speed (and loss of momentum) had burnt me out.

So, what was the point of these stories.  Well, first of all, I wanted to share something that happened to me that was pretty funny, but I am also hoping to be able to apply the story to a topic from the faith.  I know I am new at this, so hopefully this example isn't really cheesy, but the real subject of this post is peace.  Often times - like that bike that didn't tell me what was going on, or the treadmill that kept changing the speed or incline - we don't know what life will bring us each day, and when we do know, we sometimes don't enjoy it very much.  Basically, life isn't always fun!  Sometimes we lose friends or family, sometimes work (or school) is stressful, sometimes we have to do things that we really, really don't want to, sometimes prayer doesn't seem to be "working", sometimes life is hard, sometimes that alarm is too early.  Through all of this we try to find some peace and joy and most of the time it just doesn't work.  Our lives are busy, we are tired, and we feel like we are running from one things to the next just putting out fires.  And, you know what, that is part of life.  Hardships are part of the human experience (at least since we started sinning); however, while life will continue to be full of things that we don't like (for lack of a better term), we can still be filled with peace.  How? We have to get our peace from Christ.

In the Gospel, we see countless times where someone (or a group) is full of fear, or anxiety, or troubles, and we hear the words "peace be with you".  Some examples: After the Resurrection, Jesus appears in the upper room to his previously despairing, now startled, disciples, and the first thing that Jesus says is "Peace be with you" - Luke 24:36  Again, right before the Ascension, to his disciples who are distraught at the prospect of Him leaving, Jesus says "Peace I leave with you" - John 14:27.  Now, these examples aren't really helpful, yeah, Jesus gave them His peace, great, where do I get it?  Well, keep reading.  

In the same passage from John, Jesus continues: "my peace I give to you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid."  Here is the important part - this peace is different than the world's peace.  It isn't from the world.  True peace, as Arch-Abbot Lambert explained in our retreat last week, can only be given from, and found in, Christ.  God's perspective isn't ours, and he wants to transform all those problems, difficulties, and times of sadness into opportunities for us to grow closer to Him.  We must accept them, these crosses, as such - as means of reparation for our own sins (and others'), as times where we can learn greater trust of God, as ways to learn detachment, and as opportunities to grow in virtue.  In short, the peace of Christ, which is the only true peace, comes from learning to rely on Him and use every moment, regardless of how much we enjoy it, to become more Christlike.  This is the Little Way of St. Theresa of Lisieux, of offering up everything to God and doing everything for God.  It's not like God plans out our life and every so often sends in a difficulty - like one of those boss-levels in a video game - but whenever we are struggling He gives us the grace to persevere (which we need to accept) and the option of using that moment to grow closer to Him and become more like Him.  

Unfortunately, that's all I've got.  As an addendum I should note that this is by no means complete - there are so many other fantastic spiritual writers that have more experience than I, can write more beautifully and richly than I, know their faith better than I, and basically this means that I am undoubtedly leaving a lot out.  However, I wanted to tell you what is going on around here and simultaneously tell you something that I have been (slowly) learning through the seminary process: rely on God.  Finally, I need to say that there is another direction one could go with the topic of peace, that of becoming peacemakers (from the beatitudes).  I'll have to hit that topic at some point in the future.  Happy Friday!

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit - Romans 15:13

And the angel said to them, "Be not afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of a great joy which will come to all the people; for to you is born this day in the city of David a savior, who is Christ the Lord.  And this will be a sign for you: you will find a babe wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger." And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among men which whom he is pleased!" When the angels went away from them into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let us go over to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened which the Lord has made know to us." And they went with haste, and found Mary and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger.  And when they saw it they made known the saying which had been told them concerning this child; and all who heard it wondered at what the shepherds told them. - Luke 2:10-18
 

This is a fantastic talk on faith, how it is necessary, how it is only from God, how it isn't always easy.  Actually, I met Fr. Romke when he was a seminarian 5 years ago or so - great guy!  The year of faith has finished, but growing in faith is a constant process.  Keep praying for faith!  Enjoy!  The talk is about 20 minutes long, but worth every minute. 

As you probably have heard, Pope Francis was just named Time Magazine's Person of the Year.  He receives the title which had also given to Blessed Pope John Paul II and John XXIII, (who will both be canonized in April).  I read the article, Pope Francis, The People's Pope, and I was a bit worried when I saw the opening line: "He took the name of a humble saint and then called for a church of healing. The first non-European pope in 1,200 years is poised to transform a place that measures change by the century".  Great... Another article about how Pope Francis is going to change everything about the Catholic Church and switch its teaching on abortion, gay marriage, etc.  Wonderful, another news piece that doesn't understand that the Church can't change these teaching because they are Divinely, not humanly, mandated.  They quickly realized my fears:

The papacy is mysterious and magical: it turns a septuagenarian into a superstar while revealing almost nothing about the man himself. And it raises hopes in every corner of the world—hopes that can never be fulfilled, for they are irreconcilable. The elderly traditionalist who pines for the old Latin Mass and the devout young woman who wishes she could be a priest both have hopes. The ambitious monsignor in the Vatican Curia and the evangelizing deacon in a remote Filipino village both have hopes. No Pope can make them all happy at once.

Here it comes, thought I...  But then they got it right:

And so Francis signals great change while giving the same answers to the uncomfortable questions. On the question of female priests: “We need to work harder to develop a profound theology of the woman.” Which means: no. No to abortion, because an individual life begins at conception. No to gay marriage, because the male-female bond is established by God. “The teaching of the church … is clear,” he has said, “and I am a son of the church, but”—and here he adds his prayer for himself—“it is not necessary to talk about those issues all the time.”

Again, later in the article:

The five words that have come to define both the promise and the limits of Francis’ papacy came in the form of a question: “Who am I to judge?” That was his answer when asked about homo­sexuality by a reporter in July. Many assumed Francis, with those words, was changing church doctrine. Instead, he was merely changing its tone, searching for a pragmatic path to reach the faithful who had been repelled by their church or its emphasis on strict dos and don’ts. Years of working closely with parish priests have taught him that the church seemed more comfortable with narrow issues than human complexity, and it lost congregants and credibility in the bargain. He is urging his army to think more broadly.

I was legitimately surprised!  Of course, the article isn't perfect, I could complain about some points (even in these quotations), but I'm not going to.  I think they did a really good job outlining the man who is now Pope.  The author seems to understand what the Pope is saying, knowing the background that is the 2000 years of Church Tradition.  I am just glad to see something that finally sets the record pretty straight.  Hopefully, this article will allow people to see the true depth behind Pope Francis.  He isn't changing doctrine, and his change in tone isn't because he is liberal.  Church teaching isn't liberal or conservative, it's truth.  Pope Francis, by putting a huge emphasis on love, compassion, charity, solidarity, etc. isn't undermining Church teaching, He is showing the world the beauty, goodness, and truth behind the morality that they all-too-often misunderstand as harsh, bureaucratic, rules. 

Thanks Time magazine for the great article!  Thanks Pope Francis for setting an example for the world!

Wow, I haven't written a blog post like that before.  (Let me know if it didn't make sense or if I said anything crazy - I hate it when that happens...)  I only have the metaphysics final tomorrow and a bit of polishing to do on the senior seminar paper!

Father,

the image of the virgin is found in the Church

Mary had a faith that your spirit prepared

and a love that never knew sin,

for you kept her sinless from the first moment of her conception

Trace in our actions the lines of her love,

in our hearts her readiness of faith.

Prepare once again a world for your Son

who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit,

one God, for ever and ever.

Amen.

 

 

In other news: finals start in 1 hour, yay!

 

Well, after staying up until (almost) 4AM yesterday, I finally got my metaphysics paper done and turned it in yesterday afternoon (it was a great feeling!).  I think the paper turned out pretty good in the end.  Earlier this week I was spending pretty much all my free time on that paper and it just wasn't coming together how I wanted it to.  I was talking about teleology (that things, particularly humans, have ends, in our case, happiness in God) and this allows morality/ethics to exist.  Basically, without teleology, everybody has to figure out their own end (power, money, pleasure, work, whatever), and for this reason (along with some other logical/metaphysical reasons) teleology must exist and ethics must be based on it.  It was a really cool paper and unfortunately this summary doesn't do the topic justice (my paper didn't either I imagine), but I am really glad that I finally found the sources that I needed to finish the paper off. 

 

I still have to finish up the senior seminar paper, something that I will work on for the next hour or so before meeting with Dr. Denz (the professor for that class).  Hopefully he's happy with my (very) rough draft that I gave him a few weeks back. 

 

Next week I have all the typical finals - Monday: calculus and moral issues (neither will be easy, but shouldn't be impossible either), Tuesday: Augustine and Aquinas (again, it'll take studying, but I'll be ready), Wednesday: senior seminar and psychology (senior sem. is a take-home, but will probably be one of my hardest finals, psychology is a presentation and should be easy), and Thursday: metaphysics (tough, but should go alright).  I am very glad that my finals are spaced out over the week - usually I'd want to get them done as quickly as possible, but all my classes are tough this semester, so I am glad that I should have enough time to study before each one.

 

the holly tree in Brute's courtyard

Of course, the fun doesn't stop just because everybody is getting ready for finals!  This afternoon we are going to play some football (in the snow!), and (recap from the previous post) this evening we have the first-ever Brute talent show.  The Springfield guys will be doing something, and there are a bunch of other guys who will be showing off as well.  It should be awesome!  Tomorrow there are a bunch of us going caroling at a Catholic nursing home (actually the same one that Ray and I have for our ministry) - it was a blast last year, and this year, I'm sure, won't be any different.   On Sunday evening I'm going with some guys to Cincinnati for "lessons and carols", which is some sort of Advent/Christmas concert put on by the seminary up there.

 

Fr. Joe said something quite profound in his homily this morning.  He said that Advent is a time to deepen our faith and, like the blind men in the Gospel this morning, ask Jesus to heal the places within our soul that are broken, hurt, warped, or suffering.  This same faith must then give us the insight to see our life (physically and spiritually) as it really is, a gift from God, and then give our lives back to God.  To cultivate those talents, abilities, and blessings that we have been given, and use them for the greater glory of God and the good of all His creation.  Obviously, my summary is lacking the awesomeness and persuasion that father included in his homily, but my brain is a bit fried from the past few days...

 

I hope you have all had a good (almost) first week of Advent.  I hope to get back to blogging more frequently once I knock out these finals.  May the mercy and love of the Sacred Heart enflame you with His joy, peace, love, and energy on this first Friday, especially in this beautiful season of Advent.

Oh, happy feast of St. Nicholas!

Also, I'm going to post some videos that I've found during this week (they're cool and I won't have time to post something more substantial...)

This semester has been absolutely flying by. Not only has every week sped by, due to a relatively heavy course load (last week it still felt like Tuesday on Thursday), but the weekends too have been absolutely chock full of stuff to do (sports, hanging out, events, talks, homework, ministry). It's now my third semester in the seminary, and each one gets better and better. Sure, there were some ups and downs, but seriously, overall it has been absolutely phenomenal so far. That is why I am so surprised at the fact that it is almost over. I only have one full week of classes left (this week is cut short by NCYC, next week by thanksgiving, and the week after that is the week before finals)! It's absolutely crazy! I can clearly remember moving in at the beginning of the semester, and meeting all the new guys, and the first week of classes, and the first wave of tests, and the first discernment dinner, and the many, many community dinners, and the talks on campus, and the midterms, and the soccer tournament, and wow, there has just been so much happening... It has been wonderful, overwhelming, full of growth, and (almost) constant joy! Some of the guys are starting to want the semester to end; I feel like it has just begun. There is so much more to learn, so many more prayers to be said, so much more growth to be had, so much more fun to do. Gosh, I guess it's not a bad problem to have. God is so good! 

Well, that's all for now - sorry, I really want to write something fantastic, deep, and funny, but I'm currently deep into my Augustine/Aquinas and Senior Seminar papers (neither of which will finish themselves), and I should probably focus on getting those done first. Love God, Have fun, and Be Not Afraid!

Please let me know in the comments if this post is almost unreadable because the words are chopped off at the end of each line.  I keep seeing it on my end, and want to make sure that it is just a problem with my computer...  Thanks!

Pope Francis has called for all Catholics to fast on September 7th, this Saturday, the vigil of the Feast of Our Lady's Birth, for peace throughout the world, and especially in Syria.  That happens to be the day that we will be inviting the parents and pastors of all they guys to Bruté for Mass and tours and what-not, so that will make it a little bit more difficult, but you-know, if the Pope asks for something, even when not canonically binding, it's probably a good idea to obey.

Update: My bishop, +Bishop Thomas John Paprocki, has written about this day of fasting and has asked that parishes stay open from noon to 5PM (Central Time) so that people can pray as well as fast.   

 

I had a wonderful visit with my family (and sister), so stay tuned for some comments on the weekend.  Otherwise, back to the books tomorrow...



 

 

 

I guess I will finish on a spiritual note.  Several minutes ago myself and the other Dominic said the Rosary and Night Prayer, and one part of Compline (the Latin term for night prayer) really jumped out at me.  This comes from the first psalm (#4) for Night Prayer on Saturday:

I guess it is good that this psalm comes up every week, because I constantly need to be reminded  about everything it says.  "love what is futile and seek what is false" - I, so often, want some cool new gadget, or waste time watching something on YouTube and I really need to open my heart to God - not stuff.  As St. Augustine said, Our hearts are restless until they rest in You [God].  "Let the light of your face shine on us, O Lord."  Want happiness?  Trust God, not yourself, not money, not stuff, not being cool, not corn, etc.  That is the only place where we will fine true happiness on earth, and the only way we will arrive at eternal happiness in Heaven.  "For you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety."  Yep, it says "alone" - that means no exceptions.  Today's Gospel recounts Jesus admonishing the disciples that they must be like little children.  This doesn't mean acting immature, this means being trusting, loving, and dependent on God.  How to do this?  What did Jesus do?  Matthew 19:15: "After he placed His hands on them, He went away."  When Jesus "goes away" it usually means he went an prayed to God.  How do we get this child like devotion to God, Abba, Daddy?  Pray.

Ok, so that was rather blunt, don't think that I am perfect here.  I have so far to go...  (Which, of course, is why you all are praying for me! - I'll reciprocate don't worry.)

Good night everybody!  -  Lie down in peace and sleep comes at once.

On last Wednesday evening, I attended the Totus Tuus session at St. Peter's here in Quincy.  Willie, one of the Springfield seminarians who goes to Bruté, was one of the 4 team members leading this particular Totus Tuus session, and I wanted to see how it went.  

After all the kids arrived, there was a quick game of kick-ball (during which I managed to get as far as second base) followed by a talk by one of the team leaders about the sacraments of the Eucharist and Confession.  Every evening has a different topic, hitting major parts of living the Catholic Faith.  The young lady giving the talk this evening came from a personal perspective on how she (somewhat recently) came to love spending time at Exposition just talking with God.  She explained to the kids present (probably 40 or more) that for the longest time she had found spending time in Exposition to be absolutely boring, un-productive, and interminable.  She would rattle through the Rosary, or just repeat prayer after prayer, and never found herself actually praying.  Of course, she then related how her perspective completely changed when she started praying to God.  Instead of rote repetition, she started praying to God about her life, her problems, her joys, etc.  At this point she invited everybody to spend a few moments in silent prayer - not saying anything in particular, but just talking to God.  

Now before the talk, Willie had mentioned that he thought about inviting me to give the talk that night, but figured that I would want time to prepare, and so, hadn't asked me.  Besides being glad that I wasn't put on the spot, it made me think about what I would have said, if I was in that situation.  So, when I was supposed to be praying at the end there, I actually started to think about what I would have done differently in giving my talk...   The first thing I would get rid of, thought I, was the overly personal stuff - I mean, maybe a short story, but not the whole thing from the perspective of how the Eucharist has changed my life... Eventually, I noticed that I wasn't praying to God, I was praising myself, and how much better I could talk about the Eucharist (in other words - I was being prideful), and so, I finally got down to praying, and spent a few moments asking God to inspire and transform the next hour that I spent in front of the Blessed Sacrament.

I don't think that I had ever really done that - pray to God that my praying and spending time with Him would be fruitful.  I guess, I always just do it my way (pride again...) - I've got my Rosary, and my great book, and my Bible, etc.  Don't get me wrong, the Rosary, good spiritual books, and the Bible, are fantastic spiritual things (for lack of better words).  But, I was coming at prayer somewhat skewed.  I was going into Exposition thinking about how great I was going to pray that evening and not how I was going to let God speak to me.  OK, that whole story given, [HA! I just noticed that that entire thing was personal...  The very thing that I was critiquing in someone else is exactly what I have just done.  I think I have been a bit of a hypocrite...] the next hour was fantastic!  I opened myself up to God beforehand, and do you know what happens when you open yourself to God - He fills you.! Yes, I did pray the rosary, and yes all the kids milling around to go to Confession were distracting, but then I began to just talk (and actually listen) to God, and it turned out to be a beautiful experience.

Almost exactly 1 year ago, I can remember going into St. Peter's and begging God to tell me His will.  I was struggling to take the step and enter seminary, and I wanted to know what God wanted me to do.  I thought I was open to God's will, but I just wanted Him to tell me what that was (preferably through something really obvious - maybe a voice from Heaven or something).  Anyway, while praying there in the presence of Jesus Christ, my mind spun through the past year, and just how blessed I have been in seminary.  My life has been full of joy, I have grown closer to Christ (though I definitely have a lot of work to do there...), I have learned so much (and forgotten so much...) - It has been better than I could have ever dreamed!  1 year ago I was full of doubt, full of fear, full of a lack of trust in God, and here I was, in the same spot and I was feeling so much happier, more fulfilled, and peaceful.

Why?  Totus Tuus.  I have begun (key word: begun) to rely on God more and myself less.  I know, this totally yours mentality of the phrase Totus Tuus sounds kind of crazy, but if you think about it, God is a lot smarter and better than you (ok, at least me...), so why not trust in Him?  Obviously, this is a lot harder in "real life" than to just rationalize it and say "yeah, rely on God - that's cool", but that has to be our goal.  There is so much more to write about Totus Tuus, I had plenty more ideas while sitting there in front of the Blessed Sacrament, but this blog post is long enough...  

So, Recap:

Kickball is fun!
Personal stories can get other people thinking about their own faith!

Jesus does wonderful things when you ask Him to!

Trusting in God brings joy!

Totus Tuus is a great motto!

More to come...

I just noticed that my previous blog post also centered on trust in God - I guess it must be important...

Well folks, sorry about the complete dearth of blogging.  This will be a short post just to keep you updated and hopefully I'll start putting together some daily updates tomorrow (we'll see...).  As you probably saw, on Monday we flew from St. Louis to San Jose California (with a few stops).  We had a wonderful afternoon in San Jose, saw the ocean, had a delicious dinner, and got to sleep after a long day.  On Tuesday, we went to the Monterrey Bay Aquarium, which was really, really interesting, got some calamari sandwiches for lunch (interesting), and then drove out to the house/cabin that we rented here in Mariposa (a few miles outside the West entrance to Yosemite.  Yesterday, Wednesday, we woke up around 4 AM and hiked up half dome, a huge rock that juts outside of the Yosemite valley.  When I say huge, I mean it.  It was 18 miles long, with almost a mile of vertical ascent, and the last several hundred yards were done by pulling yourself up on cables to the top of the rock - definitely the hardest, longest, most scary, and coolest hike ever.  Finally, today, we went down to the grove of giant sequoias, saw the enormous trees, visited a relative, and got some decent burgers for dinner.  Obviously, there is a lot more to each of those days, and hopefully I can write up some accounts of them - if only for myself in the future - but just know that it has been an absolute blast so far.  

OK, so here are a few pictures, and with that goodnight from California!

Sorry for the lack of blogging over the past week or two, I have found it harder than I expected to find stuff to write about now that I am home.  

On Friday, I attended the home school group monthly get-together.  We've been members of it ever since I can remember (I was home schooled from first to twelfth grade), and I can remember many fun times growing up and going to it.  Anyway, we played some Frisbee, I watched all the kids give their presentation (the activity for this month) - some were pretty cool: valence electrons, organic polymers, piano recitals, and other, various, cool presentations.  We stuck around as the mom talked throughout the afternoon, played some soccer in the parking lot (not quite as fun as "real" soccer), and got home around 6.

On Saturday, we participated in the Bridge the Gap.  It is a running race that we have done before, which is pretty cool because it goes across one of the Quincy bridges and back on the other.  It's a fun little 5K, but I always underestimate ho hard it will be.  The first mile is easy: you start going up this steep hill, but it's only about 2 blocks and the rest of the mile is mostly downhill as you cross over the first bridge.  Thus, I finished the first mile in a blistering 6:30 or so.  The second mile, though, entails crossing back over the second bridge.  And, it is all uphill.  Literally, the entire mile is a pretty good uphill climb.  Anyway, I finally finished the second mile (at which point I was right at a 7:00 min/mile pace) and went down the hill after the 2nd bridge and onto the (relatively) flat last mile.  Unfortunately, I was "recovering" from the 2nd mile and didn't ever bump up the pace like I wanted to.  Either way, I made sure to stay up with this other guy who appeared to be near my age and managed to spring the last tenth of a mile or so and pass him.  I got 2nd in my age group and 8th place overall (surprised myself with that one!).  I finished in 21:52 (something like that), which is a 7:04 min/mile, and which also is about as fast as I've ever run a 5k.  I think I may have gone a bit faster in some of the training runs for the half-marathon, but those were probably a good bit more flat.  Ah well, I think I could have gone a bit faster, but in hind site I always think I could have done better, so there you go...  

On Sunday, we did Mass at St. Rose, where I was recruited to serve - no biggie...  That afternoon we started packing for vacation.  As a family, we try to go on a vacation (almost) every year.  This year, which is "bigger" than normal, we are going to Yosemite.  So, we decided to start the fun a week early and begin to pack what we would be bringing.  Of course, seeing it as a challenge, my goal is to pack everything in a bag that can be carried on the airplane (they have a specific size that you can't go over).  Anyway, this gets a bit more difficult when you try to fit a back-pack, hiking shoes, a laptop, and the clothes in the carry on bag...  Have no fear, I'll get it in there, but I sure hope I don't have to open it until we get there.  I can zip it up right now, but still need to fit in another pair of shoes, the computer, and a shirt.  

On Monday, I started my summer job over at Titan Wheel.  It isn't that there is less going on...  The job begins at 7:30 AM, so I go to Mass at 6:30 AM every morning.  So far the job has been pretty good - just getting back into the swing of things from last summer - we'll see how it develops.  I get done at 4:00PM and then we usually have something going on that takes up the rest of the evening.  If we don't have something going on, I typically manage to waste the evening hours before hitting the sack around 10 PM so that I can get several hours of shut-eye before the alarm goes off.  

So there you have it, the last few days have been non-stop stuff to do.  (did I mention I had to sign up for Spanish on Thursday, or the packet pick-up for the race on Friday, or the after-Mass group we went out for lunch with on Sunday, or the mowing I helped out with on Monday...)  Don't think that I am complaining - but I am busy...

OK, all that writing leads me to what I actually wanted to get to.  Today, mid-day prayer, which I prayed during my lunch break, had this as its concluding prayer:

God of mercy,this midday moment of restis your welcome gift.
Bless the work we have begun,
make good its defects
and let us finish it in a way that pleases you.
Grant this through Christ our Lord.
– Amen.

I thought that the entire prayer was such a beautiful thing to say in the middle of a busy, tiring, sometimes annoying and frustrating day.  Yesterday, I was going around to the lock-boxes around the plant and checking to see if all the locks were present and working.  Anyway, this one box was inside an office of sorts and while I was checking out the locks, a few guys came in off the paint line, where they had been working, and the one guy said to me "you have a pretty tough job there don't you" - briefly the thought of how greasy the locks were, or how many different boxes there were to audit, or how long it would take me to type up the results popped into my head - and they I looked over at him sitting there peeling off the plastic suit that he had been wrapped in (it was probably 80 out) while spraying paint, and it hit me that just maybe his job was more tough than mine.  You know, how I got to take the golf cart around to the different boxes, or how I could sit in an air-conditioned office for most of the day, rather than just my lunch break...  You know, how my job was plush compared to his, and I had no reason at all to complain about it...

I thought this prayer was such a beautiful way to remind ourselves of the gift that every day truly is.  How each and every moment, those of rest, those of work, those of fun, those of sorrow, can be seen as an opportunity to grow closer to God.  To thank Him for the good, to ask His help through the laborious, to see His love in the joyful, and find the path to Him through the sorrowful.  "and let us finish it in a way that please you." - It is incredible when you actually pay attention to the prayers that we say each day.  Seriously, I say the prayers of the Mass every day, I (try to) say the prayers of the rosary every day, I say the Divine Office every day, and yet these beautiful reminders of God's love, mercy, aid, generosity, and everything else are so easy to miss.  You know, it's going to be easy to see that when on vacation - when everything is fun, and there aren't any worries - but what happens when I get back?  When Monday comes around and I have to go back to work.  That is when it is more important than ever to see God's presence, and love around us, and use our everyday lives to grow closer to Him.  I think it was in the Gospel today when Jesus says that whoever isn't against me is for me.  I think that that can also be said of everyday live - it doesn't have to lead us to Christ, but it sure can if we let it...  Just a thought.  My hope is that by trying to find Christ everywhere, I can find more to blog about as the summer goes by - we'll see what happens when Spanish gets started in a few weeks...

"Grant this through Christ Our Lord - Amen"

Pope Francis recently gave a talk to the diplomatic corps in which he said:

I see a lot of people fighting against material poverty, and that is certainly important, but we cannot ignore spiritual poverty.  Really, that is the bigger problem, the greater evil, the worse deprivation.  As Christians we need to do both the corporal and the spiritual works of mercy.  Doing the corporal works of mercy is easier, more rewarding, and a source of prestige.  Feeding, clothing, healing; they are all things that people like to see others doing.  The spiritual works of mercy, on the other hand, have few benefits (on earth); it's tough to forgive, to admonish, to pray.  There aren't many people handing you Nobel prizes for praying or confronting people about their sins...  

It's unfortunate, but people don't always search for the truth these days - the "dictatorship of relativism" as said by Pope Benedict Emeritus is a big problem in our world.  Is there objective, always-true, truth?  Or is the good, the beautiful, the right, the true, just what I want it to be?  Pope Francis is saying that the antidote to poverty, and the precursor to peace, is accepting the truth.

We are coming up on Holy Week and this topic reminds me of Pilate's question to Jesus: "What is truth?" (John 18:38).  Truth, folks, is the person standing before Pilate, Jesus Christ.  His words directly before Pilate's question are "For this I was born, and for this I have come into the world, to bear witness to the truth.  Every one who is of the truth hears my voice." (John 18:37)  That is the mission of the Christian, to hear Christ's voice.  Our world is full of noise and distraction, and especially during Lent we pray, fast, and give alms, to grow closer to God, to hear His voice, to know His truth, and thus, to proclaim it to the world.  Welcome to the Church Militant folks!